Every Rose Has Its Thorn
by DarkAngel2112
Summary: What if Arthur's cousin was caught doing magic? What if Merlin was the one who discovered her? And what other secrets are she and the sorceress training her holding back, if one is not who they say... Full summary inside. There are OC's and A/G. SEQUEL UP
1. All We Know

**EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN**

**SUMMARY:** What if Arthur's cousin Rena was caught doing magic? What if it was Merlin who discovered her? The consequences of being a Pendragon and having magic would be unimaginable. But the sorceress who's training Rena has other ideas... and she must become part of the story if Camelot is to survive.

**A/N:** This is the first chapter, so it's shorter than all the others. A lot shorter. I'm hoping this is an original idea, at least as far as the subject goes, because I've gotten tired of seeing the same three OC stories with different wording. The pictures of the people I have to portray the characters are on my profile.

**Rating: **T for language, fight scenes, and other things which I have yet to write.

* * *

**Characters:**

Syrene "Rena" Annabelle Pendragon

Bio: The cousin of Arthur Pendragon. She is Uther's late brother's daughter, and is staying in Camelot for her arranged marriage, which she doesn't want to be in. Kind-hearted, but not your average princess. She is a big believer in love, but hasn't seen any for herself… and she wants it.

Alexander "Xander" Vyman

Bio: One of Arthur's most trusted knights, even though he is very young. His family is one of Camelot's greatest allies. He comes from a surrounding kingdom, where his family's status is "just below royalty".

Avianna

Bio: ?

**A/N:** Information about Avianna will be revealed as the story goes on. There are more OC's, but these are the three you need to know for the beginning. Now, onto the story!

* * *

**1. All We Know**

"…But _why_ must we go to such great lengths to make the castle look nice for your cousin?" Merlin asked breathily. He was tired from working twice as hard as normal that day, and all for Arthur's cousin, Lady Syrene Annabelle Pendragon.

"Because, _Mer_lin, Syrene is not just _any_ lady," Arthur said, an amused look on his face as he watched his manservant work himself to death. "Apart from being my cousin, she's not one of those annoying nobles who-"

"Usually remind me of you?" Merlin offered. Arthur rolled his eyes and hit Merlin on the back of the head.

"After almost a year of working for me, you _still _don't know when it is and is not appropriate to open your mouth, do you, Merlin?" Merlin grinned and shook his head. "What I was _going _to say was, Syrene actually has more than half a mind, which is more than you can say for some nobles." _Including you,_ Merlin thought but didn't dare say.

"Arthur?" A voice came from the doorway. Both Arthur and Merlin turned around and were faced with a beautiful woman with long, curly blonde hair and blue eyes. She had a bright smile on her face, and was wearing an extremely expensive and well-made dress. This lady was definitely not a commoner.

Arthur smiled upon seeing the woman.

"Syrene!" he laughed. "What are you doing here?"

"What, no one told you I was coming?" the woman asked innocently, batting her eyelashes a few times. Merlin was standing in one spot, frozen, his eyes slightly wider than normal. He had to keep his jaw from lowering.

"No, Rena, what are you doing away from your guards?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow. The woman, who was apparently Arthur's cousin, smirked.

"I'll be back to them in a few minutes. I just _had _to come and see you first!" Rena said excitedly. She ran over to Arthur and kissed his cheek.

"My father's not going to be happy with you if he founds out you snuck away from your guards again," Arthur warned her. Rena laughed.

"When is your father _ever _happy with me?" she asked.

"You know he loves you, Rena."

"Yes, but he disapproves of my lifestyle, nevertheless," Rena said, the joking tone to her voice gone. "He doesn't believe I should know how to defend and provide for myself," Rena said. She narrowed her eyes at Arthur, daring him to agree with his father. Arthur just cleared his throat and looked at the ground.

"Well… you _are _a woman…" Rena rolled her eyes. Merlin took a second to look her over. She was tall, only an inch or two shorter than Arthur. Her stance portrayed confidence and self-assurance, and she had the posture only a noble could possibly possess.

"Arthur, I'd have thought you'd moved on from that after that time we were sword fighting with Morgana when we were eleven and we both-"

"That _never_ happened," Arthur interrupted her. Rena cocked an eyebrow.

"That's not what I remember," she said. Her eyes flickered towards Merlin, and she looked disapprovingly back at her cousin.

"Really, Arthur? You had to go and get yourself _another_ manservant?" Rena clicked her tongue. "Shame, shame. What is he, the fortieth?" she asked, giving Merlin a sympathetic smile and a quick wink. Merlin blushed and looked down.

"Sixteenth, thank you, Rena. Shouldn't you be getting back to your guards before you cause my father a stroke?" Rena laughed.

"Sure, why not? Good seeing you, Arthur." She hugged her cousin, smiled at Merlin, and left the room.

"She's, um…" Merlin couldn't really describe her. "She's definitely like you said she was." Arthur gave Merlin a disbelieving look.

"I'm guessing you find her extremely attractive, now, don't you, Merlin?" he asked. Merlin gulped and frantically shook his head. Arthur shrugged.

"I'm not surprised," he said. He moved over to his full-body mirror and admired himself. "It _does_ run in the family." Merlin couldn't resist. He muttered a spell under his breath, knowing Arthur was too wrapped up in himself to notice.

_Crack!_

The mirror instantly shattered into pieces. Arthur turned back to Merlin, the look of disbelief once again on his face. Merlin tried (and failed) to hold back a grin.

"Shall I clean that up for you, sire?"

* * *

Merlin stood in his place behind Arthur, as all servants were supposed to stand behind their masters, to show that they were much lower on the food chain.

Now, Arthur and Rena had to pretend that this was the first time they had seen each other in the three years since Rena had last come to Camelot. King Uther and Prince Arthur were supposed to meet Rena, who was Uther's late brother's daughter, just outside the castle. Arthur bit back a smile as he saw Rena and the guards arriving on horseback. Uther looked at Rena's horse with disdain as he saw the weapons the animal was carrying, all of which were his niece's.

"Uther," Rena said sweetly as she curtsied to him, like the good girl she was supposed to be.

"Syrene," Uther said, bringing her into his arms. Rena sighed; Uther was _still_ the only one who refused to call her 'Rena'.

"Uther," she said, smiling as politely as she could. _Why must I be here? _She thought. _Why can't I be back home, in Revasia? _Revasia was the kingdom which Rena's father had previously been king of. She was not queen yet; instead her mother had to remarry immediately and there was now a new king, Wylon. He was nice enough, but he was not as good a ruler as her father had been.

And this was all why she was in Camelot. Though she was happy to be in the place she had come to consider a second home, she wished it was not under such circumstances. Rena was the victim of yet another royal arranged marriage, and she was in Camelot to meet (then marry) her suitor. She didn't even know his _name_. She just knew that what she was subject to was wrong.

And what kind of basis was _that_ for a marriage?

Anyway, Rena was happy to be back in Camelot, even if she had to deal with her arranged marriage and her uncle… who killed anything magic in sight. Rena had enough sense to know it was wrong, but she daren't say anything to Uther.

"Arthur," she greeted her cousin for the second time. A smart smirk was on her face, and it matched Arthur's almost perfectly.

"Rena." Rena quickly looked at Merlin, and gave him a look that said "say nothing".

Merlin wasn't going to.

* * *

**A/N:** Not much happened in this chapter. Yes, it wasn't very exciting, but it will get better!


	2. Beautiful Nightmare Part 1

_**A/N**: Wow, I only put up the first chapter and already two reviews! (Based on the reviews I got for my last Merlin story, Out of My Element (SEQUEL COMING SOON!) that's amazing for me. So thanks to all who reviewed, favorited, and alerted. I'd list your names, but my computer's being slow and I can't go check all of them. Nevertheless, the tingly feeling in my stomach when I realize someone somewhere is actually reading my story does not falter! Enjoy!_

_Side note: This story takes place between series 2 and 3 of Merlin, because I am an American who cannot find series 3 on the Internet. *Tear*_

_Another side note: The title song from the last chapter was "All We Know" by Paramore_  
_The song for the title of this story is "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison, but my friend told my that apparently it was covered by Miley Cyrus on her "Can't Be Tamed" album._  
_And last but not least, the title song for this chapter is "Sweet Dreams" by Beyonce, but since there was already a Merlin episode called Sweet Dreams I decided to call this my favorite line from the song: Beautiful Nightmare._

_Also, the character-portrayal-pictures for this story AND Out of My Element are on my profile under all my boring info._

_You can read the story now. :)_

* * *

**2. Beautiful Nightmare Part 1**

Guinevere had been assigned to serve the Lady Rena, as the Lady Morgana had disappeared mysteriously.

Rena and Gwen were old friends, ever since Rena was six and had first come to Camelot. Her father had needed a new sword from the blacksmith, and Gwen's father was the best blacksmith in all of Camelot. Both girls remembered the day quite well.

_"Hi," Gwen had said, smiling shyly from behind her father. She was wearing a worn yellow dress, a dress that looked like nothing compared to Rena's dress._

_"Hello," Rena said, standing as straight as she could. She felt like a wooden board. Her father had always told her how important her posture was. It showed her status. But it was quite a pain to always uphold a straightened back. She'd expected to someday get used to it, but it seemed that day wouldn't come any time soon._

_"I'm Gwen," the darker girl said. Rena smiled. Gwen was the first person (other than her father, uncle, and cousin, who was annoying and a prat to boot) who had spoken to her in Camelot._

_"I'm Syrene, but everyone calls me Rena. Well, everyone but my Uncle Uther," Rena said. Gwen looked at her in surprise._

_"Your uncle is Uther?"_

_"Yes, my father is his brother."_

_"Oh." Even at the tender age of six, Gwen knew that speaking to any sort of royalty in this way was frowned upon. But Rena was nice, and Gwen didn't have many friends._

_"Want to be friends?" the blonde girl suddenly asked. Gwen smiled at her._

_"Yes, I'd like that very much."_

And that was how their friendship had begun.

Now, of course, they were older, and they knew that they could only be friends in secret. Uther would certainly disapprove of them being anything more than mistress and maidservant.

_But who gives a damn what Uther thinks?_ Rena wondered as she walked down the halls of Camelot's castle, Arthur at her side and Merlin behind them. _Oh, well, I'm sure Arthur does_. She mentally sighed. Arthur _had_ to have enough brains to not listen to his father's views on magic. But Arthur could be just as arrogant as his father, so she had her doubts about him having other ideas. Besides, you could be executed in this kingdom just for stating your opinion.

_I miss Revasia. _Rena almost said it out loud; she was so focused on it. _Well, hopefully by tonight I will be distracted from this marriage… and these magic-death laws._

"So, Rena…" Arthur cleared his throat. "I suppose you've heard about your?..." Arthur made some kind of motion with his hands, and Rena looked at the ground.

"My arranged marriage?" Rena asked sadly. Arthur placed his hand on her shoulder. "Yes, I was the last to know, apparently. I found out on the way here. Do you know who he is?" Rena asked. Arthur shook his head reluctantly.

"I know how against this you are, Rena," Arthur said.

"Yeah. But this is my own fault. I was naïve, Arthur. I always thought that I'd be able to marry for love," Rena said, sighing.

"…They say that sometimes love can grow from arranged marriages," Arthur tried. Rena smiled sadly.

"Arthur, you know what a romantic I am, and even _I _don't find that convincing," Rena said. Merlin was behind them, feeling like he shouldn't be listening to their conversation, but found himself intrigued to get to know Rena. "Yes, sometimes love can grow, but I always had this feeling… like… the person I belong with is out there somewhere. I know they are. I suppose I just haven't found them yet." Arthur chuckled.

"You haven't changed at all, Rene," he said, earning him a playful punch in the arm from his cousin.

"Just because you're a fighter and I'm a lover-"

"No, Rena, you're a hopeless romantic," Arthur said. Rena rolled her eyes yet again as the two Pendragons reached Rena's chambers. Arthur unlocked the door and held it open for his cousin. Rena smiled upon entering the room in which she had stored many happy memories that were now coming back to her. She flopped down on her bed in a very un-ladylike way, knowing that it was only Arthur and his servant – what was his name? Merlin or something… – that could see her.

"My father would have a conniption if he saw you do that," Arthur reminded her. Rena put her hand on her forehead and sighed melodramatically.

"My life has a far greater purpose than to please your father, Arthur Pendragon."

"Oh, really?" Rena shot up from her position and faced Uther in the doorway. _You'd think nineteen years of being a princess would teach me something._ She laughed nervously.

"Um… not that it's not a large part of my life… one that I care about…" Rena said, stammering. Uther gave her a cold look and left. Rena groaned and covered her face with a pillow.

"He _hates_ me, Arthur." She got no reply, so she took the pillow off of her face. Arthur wasn't there anymore; Rena reasoned that he must have followed his father out. She turned to his manservant, who hadn't left.

"Um… you're Merlin, aren't you?" she asked. Merlin looked at her, stunned that she would know his name, much less bother to _remember_ it.

"Y-yes, my lady," Merlin said, trying to suppress a blush.

"Oh, please, now, none of that "my lady" business," Rena said, waving a hand in the air. "Just call me Rena. Everyone does. Well, except Uther, and if you haven't already figured it out I'm not exactly his biggest fan." Merlin nodded, not quite sure what to say to her. She was much nicer and was bolder than most of the nobles he had met, and there had been quite a few.

"So, how long have you been working for Arthur?" Rena asked, sending Merlin away from his own thoughts.

"Um… about a year… or so…" Merlin said. Rena smiled sweetly, sensing he was nervous. Maybe a little flustered? "I should get back to Arthur," Merlin suddenly said. Rena nodded.

"Okay, well, then, it was nice meeting you," she said, still smiling.

"You as well, my la – Rena." Merlin left as quickly as he could, to avoid further embarrassment. Rena laughed to herself as Merlin shut the door behind him. She liked him much more than any of Arthur's other servants. And Arthur must like him too, by the looks of it. Merlin had been around longer than most of Arthur's servants. Well, the ones that she had heard about. There was something different about him.

She'd have to remember to ask Arthur if he knew what it was.

* * *

Approximately three hours, six minutes, and twenty-eight seconds later, Gwen was putting the finishing touches on Rena's outfit. Rena stood still, letting Gwen make the final arrangements to her dress. It was for a banquet that Rena was set to attend; where she would most likely meet her future husband.

Gwen was usually indifferent when it came to banquets; she neither loved nor hated them. They were just_ something_. Something she'd always been around, and something she'd grown used to. It wasn't something she could change or do anything about.

Rena, on the other hand, did not like banquets. Particularly Uther's banquets. Everyone, beneath the sparkly dresses and warming wines, was fake. She knew that every other guest in the room was probably planning a rebellion. Why? Because Uther was an unfair, heartless ruler who needed to die.

Not that Rena could ever do more than _think_ that.

Besides, Uther was Rena's last tie to her father, and she wasn't going to break that tie. She had loved her father… until he died in battle when she was seven.

Rena shook her head of the more depressing thoughts. _Tonight, I just have to focus on pleasing my uncle… and maybe getting a chance to meet the man who will be my future husband at the banquet. _Rena almost started crying upon thinking about her sealed future; she knew it wasn't right for anyone to be forced into marriage. But, as a princess, it was her duty to marry, rule, and produce heirs. A kingdom could not function without the royal lineage continuing, Rena knew that much.

Despite the feeling in the pit of her stomach that felt rather similar to a cauldron after a witch had made a potion, Rena continued down the long, dark hallways of Camelot's castle after Gwen had finished with her dress and she had changed. She had made sure to use the beauty products Gwen had brought her to fake dark circles under her eyes, but to the point where it looked like she had desperately tried to cover them up but had failed. Hopefully Uther wouldn't see through her lie. It was just a little white lie, and anyway, it was for a good cause.

Rena had a bad feeling about leading a double life while staying in Camelot. Good, law-abiding princess by day… and a completely unrecognizable someone-else by night.

"Lady Rena?" Gwen called as Rena proceeded to get so caught up in her thoughts once again that she walked past. Rena suddenly realized that in her heavy thinking she had walked right past the dining hall where the king and his son were waiting for her. A small blush crept across Rena's cheeks and she turned around and pushed open the large oak doors leading into the dining hall.

_Same as I remember_, Rena thought as she locked eyes with her uncle from across the room. _Same table, same tapestries… same cold glare from Uther._ Rena sighed and knew her uncle's dislike for her would never change. _Oh, well, at least I have Arthur, who's not a complete prat… most of the time_. But Uther was in the same sticky situation as Rena: she was his last link to his brother.

After Rena was seated and the three royals had begun eating, Rena knew she was about to be interrogated. In Revasia, magic was generally frowned upon, but it certainly wouldn't get you _murdered_.

"So, Syrene, how are things in Revasia?" Uther asked. _Translation: Why hasn't your family done anything to control the magic in the kingdom? Don't they have any idea how to rule?_ Rena had to pause with her wine goblet halfway to her lips. _I may need more of this in a few minutes,_ she thought. She took a quick sip and faked a smile.

"Things are…" Rena hesitated. "Things are going quite well."

"Although I'm sure you are aware of your stepfather's failing health?" _Ah, that's my uncle, about as subtle as a stampede of horses._

"Yes, I am."

"You are coming of age, Syrene." _Uh oh, _Rena thought. _This conversation did _not_ go the way I had hoped._ "It will not belong before you must take the throne."

"Yes, I suppose so," Rena murmured. Oh yes, she knew what was coming next.

"And you cannot reign alone." _Yes, because I am a woman, and it is men like you that have made it impossible for me to get anywhere in life._ "You must have a husband."

"Uther, if I may," Rena said, biting back what she _really_ wanted to say to him. "I am aware that I am to be married before I leave Camelot in the next month. I only wish to know who." Rena noticed Arthur had been silent the entire conversation. She mentally sighed. Comfort from her cousin was something she desperately wanted. She made a mental note to go visit him later and ran to him about the injustice of the world as she always did.

"You wish to know your suitor's name?" _Hell, yes, I do. _"I regret to say I am not aware of who he is." _Fan-bloody-tastic, Uther… aren't kings supposed to be informed? Oh, no, that's only half-decent kings. My mistake._

"I see," Rena said, without a single phrase in her mind that wouldn't get her thrown in the dungeons, never mind her being a princess and Uther's niece. Rena gulped down as much wine as she possibly could as soon as Uther wasn't looking at her.

She couldn't wait to get out of there.

* * *

Rena tied up her blonde hair in a tight ponytail. She couldn't have anything get in the way; nothing could block her vision.

Slipping past the guards was easy. She simply used a hand mirror to reflect light down the hall, and they were distracted for a good three minutes.

The guards at the front gates were a slightly different story. Even with her black-as-night cloak covering almost all of her, she had to be as quiet as she had ever been to get past them. She had smeared some dirt on her face to make her look like a peasant, because no one would take much notice of her then.

Rena didn't hear the footsteps behind her.

* * *

Merlin saw a figure emerge from the shadows, but he couldn't get a good look at their face. The figure walked in a very suspicious way; ducking in and out of the shadows. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, Merlin followed the cloaked figure into the forest.

He watched as the figured pulled down the hood of their cloak. All he could see was moonlight radiating off of what must have been long, blonde hair. Merlin leaned forward and accidentally stepped on a leaf, which made a slight _crunch_ underneath his foot. He held his breath and prayed the figure had not heard it. But the person turned around, and Merlin could not have been prepared for what he saw.

It was Rena Pendragon, holding what had to be a… a ball of light? Merlin couldn't believe his eyes. It had to be magic. He watched as Rena whispered a few magic words and the ball of light expanded, then shrunk, then expanded as she continued walking. She couldn't carry a torch, because that would have drawn all kinds of attention from the guards back in Camelot.

Merlin followed Rena for what must have been two kilometers of walking. Well, he was kind of stalking a good thirty paces behind her, and sometimes she'd look over her shoulder, but she never saw him.

Suddenly, the ball of light seemed to explode at Rena's will and tiny little bursts of energy floated around her. Merlin could tell from the magic in the air that Rena must be very powerful. And this scared him a little.

Okay… this scared him _a lot_.


	3. Beautiful Nightmare Part 2

**A/N: Wow, it's only chapter 3 and already I've gotten 9 reviews! Thank you all so much! Not to mention the favorites and alerts, those really mean a lot to me. :) Anyway, I feel like mentioning that I will try to respond to any reviews that look like they deserve a response or are looking for one.**

**Secondly, I feel like mentioning people on here who are very nice and try to help me. The two people I'm thinking of right now are suzie0821, who is helping my American self with finding Merlin season 3, and Jtoasn, who made an AMAZING trailer to go along with the equally amazing story _Saving Merlin_... and also helped me figure out how the heck you make things like fanfiction trailers. Maybe one of these days I'll be smart enough to figure out how to make an _Every Rose Has Its Thorn _or an _Out of My Element _trailer. Sadly, I can't promise anything, because technology hates me. Anyway, just wanted to mention that. Now, onto the story!**

**Oh, and one last thing. Avianna is pronounced Ay-vee-ah-nah. Avi is pronounced Ay-vee, as well, just to clear that up.**

**3. Beautiful Nightmare Part 2**

Merlin wasn't surprised that his usually reckless nature had gotten him into this situation. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He couldn't run. No, of course he couldn't run. This was too amazing, too stupefying. But there she was.

Who would have thought the Lady Syrene Annabelle Pendragon to be of magic?

Suddenly, she called out into the forest.

"Avianna?" Her crystal-clear voice echoed off of the trees. Suddenly a flash of lightning could be seen, and Rena glanced worriedly at the sky.

"You **idiot**!" Merlin was shocked. Who would dare speak to the Lady Syrene – er, Rena – in that sort of way? Rena was shaking slightly from the voice which had seemed to come out of nowhere.

"What? Avianna?" There was a hint of fear in Rena's voice.

"You're in Uther's territory!" The voice shouted. It was female, that was for sure. Merlin decided that this must be the Avianna that Rena had been calling for.

"This was not my doing!" Rena argued with the voice. "I did not ask to come to Camelot, and I certainly did not-"

"Not that!" The voice growled. Rena flinched. "You are in Uther's kingdom. You are a Pendragon. Yes, Rena, it is the dead of the night, but did you honestly believe you could leave Camelot's gates without being followed?" Rena froze in place. She turned around slowly.

"Oh my God," she whispered. The voice was silent. Rena couldn't see Merlin, but whoever the voice belonged to could. All Rena knew was that she had been followed, and the person who had followed her had seen her doing magic.

"Hmm, yes, show yourself," the voice said, her tone slightly mocking. Merlin didn't know whether to come out or stay hidden. Either way, there was a very high chance the person with the voice was going to kill him.

"Oh, come out, come out…" the voice said, in a sing-song voice. "For what are you afraid of? I don't bite… much." Merlin could almost see a smirk form on whoever's face the voice matched with. Another flash of lightning split the sky.

Yep, the girl was going to kill him.

"Avianna…" Merlin realized that Rena still couldn't see him. So he stepped out from behind his hiding place, and didn't say anything. Rena's jaw dropped when she saw who it was.

"Merlin?" she asked, shocked. "What… why did you follow me out here?" she asked.

"I-" Merlin didn't get a chance to fully reply. From a few meters behind Rena, a figure emerged. The figure stepped to where there was more light, and Merlin could see her face. When he did, he almost gasped audibly.

The figure was a young woman, probably nineteen or twenty. She had large, dark eyes and long brown hair. Her outfit consisted of a blood-red tunic that looked like it had once been longer, maybe a dress of some sort, but had been ripped into a shirt, a pair of nearly-skintight black leggings, black boots, and a dagger in her belt.

The woman was petite, but if looks could kill, Merlin would be pushing up daisies. She had a very intense look about her, but that was almost canceled out by the fact that she was almost ghostly pale, and looked like she hadn't slept in months. But what had almost made Merlin gasp was the long, white scar going from her left cheek down her body, until it reached her left wrist. It looked as though someone had tried to cut her open, stopped halfway and rethought their decision, then tried to sew her back together. If it weren't for the scar and the look of hatred on her face, Merlin decided, she would be very pretty.

Suddenly, Rena grabbed the girl and pulled her close. Merlin had to strain his hearing to understand what they said.

"I swear, Avianna, I had no idea he was following me!" Rena said. So, the dark-haired girl was Avianna.

"Exactly, Rena! You should have been more aware of your surroundings!" Avianna hissed.

"Avi, I'm so sorry," Rena whispered. Avianna sighed.

"You didn't know," she muttered. "Tell me, what is his name?"

"Merlin." Avianna cast her eyes downward and surveyed Merlin, stopping and staring when she reached his eyes. "Hmm. Well, I suppose if I'm right… which I usually am… this isn't all bad." Rena gave her a disbelieving look.

"Avi, he's Arthur's manservant. There couldn't be a worse person who could have followed me! Except maybe Arthur himself," Rena said, her voice getting higher in pitch.

"You'd be surprised," Avianna murmured, walking over to Merlin. She looked him fiercely in the eye, and he involuntarily took a step back. Avianna half-smirked and took a few steps closer to him. Her face had gone back to its hardened look.

"Tell me… Merlin… why did you follow Rena into the forest?" Avianna raised an eyebrow as a minute went by and Merlin still couldn't answer her. He couldn't remember the last time his throat had been this dry, especially out of fear.

"Do you have a habit of randomly following cloaked figures into the forest in the dead of night?" Avianna asked, a taunting sound to her voice. She began to walk around Merlin, her hands clasped behind her back. It was kind of like the way a shark would circle its prey.

"N-no," Merlin croaked out.

"Mmm." Avianna seemed unconvinced. "Did you think there was something special about the person you saw? Did you know who it was?"

"No."

"Avi, what are you doing?" Rena asked. Avianna held a finger to her lips, and continued to circle around Merlin.

"So, you know that Rena has magic. You know I can't let you tell Arthur, don't you?" Merlin could tell the question was rhetorical. "And I suppose by now you have gathered that she is not the only one." Merlin panicked. What did she mean by that? Was she going to tell Rena about him being magic? "Surely you must have figured out that I am of magic, as well." Merlin almost breathed a sigh of relief, but Avianna's voice had sounded similar to a steel blade being pushed across a metal plate, and he didn't want to endanger himself further. He kept his eyes on the dagger attached to Avianna's belt. Avianna followed his eyes to her dagger, and she decided she was going to play with him like a cat with a mouse.

She removed her dagger and smiled wickedly at him. She turned the cool blade over in her hand, and could see her reflection in the low light.

"I would never allow any harm to come to Rena," Avianna said. "You, however… what use are you to me?"

"Avianna!" Rena gave the dark-haired girl a sharp look, and Avianna just smiled.

"I know what I am doing, Rena. I am keeping you safe."

"By threatening Merlin?" Rena asked incredulously.

"I know what I am doing." By this point, Avianna had stopped circling around Merlin. She turned sharply on her heel and walked back over to Rena. Merlin noticed that her shirt was ripped in the back rather crudely, as though from a sword in a fight, and a lot of her upper back and shoulders were showing. Merlin saw the faint outline of a Druid tattoo through the rips. _I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Avianna's a Druid. _But the tattoo wasn't like ones Merlin had seen. He looked at the ground, trying to understand what had just happened.

"Merlin?" He heard Rena's voice call to him quietly. He looked up, and Avianna was gone.

"W-where?..." Merlin was at a loss for words.

"I suppose I owe you an explanation for my, erm, friend," Rena said. For a second, Merlin completely forgot she was Lady Syrene Annabelle Pendragon, Arthur's cousin, and a princess. For just a second, she was Rena, and she was someone who was magic, like him. Well, Avianna was too… but Rena didn't scare him half to death. Avianna did.

"You see, Avi's… um… Avi's a little…"

"Insane?" Merlin blurted out before even thinking about it. He was about to apologize for his outburst, but Rena surprised him by holding a hand up to her mouth and giggling.

"It's not that she's _insane_… she's just… tough. It's how she deals with things. She saw you as a serious threat at first."

"And she doesn't see me as one now?"

"If she did, you would already be dead." The thought was not comforting. "Something back there… something changed her mind. She was going to kill you, Merlin, I could see it in her eyes. Her eyes get extremely dark when she's going to kill someone," Rena explained.

"You've seen her kill?" Merlin half-squeaked.

"Yes, I have. And it is not a pretty sight." Merlin gulped. He knew that Avianna could have just as easily killed him as she had anyone else.

But why hadn't she?

"Well… who is she? Where does she come from?" Rena looked at the ground. Merlin noticed she had begun to walk much quicker.

"I think… that is a question you must ask her yourself," Rena said.

"I have a feeling I won't be seeing her anytime soon," Merlin said, fearing for his own safety. Rena chuckled lightly.

"I think you will. She didn't kill you, so she must have a reason for wanting to keep you around. Yes, Merlin, I have a feeling you'll be hearing from her… eventually." It was quiet for a minute between them, as they both were walking very fast to avoid particularly awkward conversation.

"So, you and Avianna are magic?" Merlin said, about as nonchalantly as one would discuss the weather. Rena sighed and nodded.

"Yes. We are. Avi's been training me, she says my powers are raw and untamed, but could do great things if used properly." Merlin brightened a little at this.

"So Avianna's… I mean, she's not… you know… evil?" Rena laughed at this. Her laugh was like the sound of little tinkling bells.

"No, Merlin, Avi's not evil. Cold and guarded? Yes, very much so. But she is not evil."

"Did she learn her magic from the Druids?" Merlin asked. Rena raised an eyebrow.

"Once again, that is a question you must ask her yourself. Whether she answers it or not is up to her, I suppose."

"Is there a good chance she won't?" Merlin inquired. Rena sighed.

"Knowing her… I could never give you a definite answer," the princess said. Suddenly she grabbed Merlin's shoulders and made him face her.

"Merlin, you won't tell anyone about… Avianna and I, will you?" Merlin looked into her pleading blue eyes, and lost his power of speech for a second.

"I… I promise I won't," he said. Rena breathed a sigh of relief, and then she smiled.

"Thank you, Merlin. We should get back to Camelot."

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

A slight breeze picked up in the forest, and Avianna's dark hair blew back away from her face. She was perched in a tree, watching Merlin and Rena. To be honest, she had been sort of impressed with the way Merlin responded to her death threats. She knew he wouldn't tell Rena's secret…

Because Avianna knew his

Avianna knew a lot of things about a lot of people. She knew it wasn't really fair, because she knew so much about other people and no one was permitted to know anything about her.

What? It was her rule. She had lived by it for as long as she could remember. At least, as long as she _wanted_ to remember.

And there wasn't very much in those memories that she was particularly proud of.

The brunette shook her head, clearing her mind of all negative thoughts. _Focus on the now, _she told herself. _What's happening right here, right now… this is what matters. It's what will always matter. Oh, and the future. I must look towards that, as well._


	4. Careful

**A/N: Twelve reviews and I am glowing with excitement! Seriously, people have mistaken me for being radioactive. :) Also thank you to those who favorited and alerted the story. But reviews do make my world go 'round! This chapter is very Rena-centric, but in the next few chapters we learn a little more about Avianna.**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

4. Careful

Rena sighed wistfully as she pinned up her golden hair. _Today is the day_, she thought. _Today is the day I must meet the man who is to become my husband._ Rena didn't know anything about him, not even his name.

Slowly she clasped her mother's pink seashell necklace around her own neck, feeling a pang of homesickness. Revasia was a kingdom by the sea, and Rena missed the sound of waves crashing outside her window.

The queen-to-be inserted a few eye drops, making her eyes appear even bluer. They became brighter as well, which was a good thing. Due to her level of recent sorrow, her eyes had become much duller.

For the next few minutes, Rena practiced her smile in the mirror. As a princess, she had always been a good actress. But happiness is a rather hard emotion to fake, especially when you feel so empty inside.

* * *

Rena didn't know if the hallways had ever felt so cold and lonely. This time she didn't even have Gwen around to comfort her. All she could do was hope that the reassurance of her mother's necklace and her reminder of home gave her the strength she needed to face the man she was going to marry. A thousand questions flew through her mind. But, being the hopeless romantic she was, there was a certain question that topped them all: _Would I have ever found true love?_ True, she may come to love her husband in time, but she had always thought that she would be able to marry her one true love, whoever he may be. She just knew somewhere in her heart that she was not meant to be in this marriage.

Of course, these were silly childhood dreams that should have been abolished long ago. She was a princess, and her future had been sealed since the moment of her birth.

Soon, she stood outside the door of the king's throne room, where she could distinctly hear the voices of her uncle and cousin. _Please, Arthur, if there was ever a time I need you to save me, it is now_.

Taking her time opening the large, heavy doors, Rena sent a silent prayer to her father in hopes of giving her strength. As soon as she walked in, all conversation stopped. All eyes were on the princess, and Rena fought the urge to run out of there. She was getting mixed signals from everyone who was looking at her.

Uther had his trademark expression of annoyance and arrogance on his face.

Arthur looked at her with pity, and if it weren't for his father he would have done his best to send Rena what could have been a half-smile.

Then there was him. Rena Annabelle's fiancé. And he didn't look any happier about the current situation than Rena did. His face was expressionless, and quite obviously he knew that marrying Rena was nothing more than business between two kingdoms.

Rena's stomach tightened. She felt like someone was tying her insides together with ropes. _Dear God, please don't let me faint… or worse. Please_, please _don't let me see my breakfast again. My uncle will kill me, oh, please._

Rena stood face-to-face with her suitor. She remembered she did not know his name. And from the look on his face, he didn't know hers, either. How was he to address her? He supposed that a formal "my lady" would suffice, but was that _really _the way he wanted to address his future wife? You only get one chance at a first impression. And this was the woman he had to spend the rest of his life with. He cleared his throat and hoped for the best.

"My lady," he said, praying he sounded more confident than he felt. Rena put on her practiced smile.

"My lord," she said, her light whimsical voice portraying the happiness she wished she felt. _Remember Revasia_, she told herself. _You're doing this for your people. For your home. For your kingdom's future. Oh God, don't cry now, Rena. Don't cry, be strong, be… be Avianna. Yes, be Avianna. Do this for her, as well._ Rena wasn't sure how this benefited her friend, but it made her feel a little better to think of Avi.

"Syrene," her uncle began. Oh, how she despised that name. Well, it wasn't really the _name_ she hated, it was just the fact that Uther was the only one who actually called her that. Rena felt a sudden urge to reach up and play with her hair, the way she had done as a young girl. Her uncle had always yelled at her for it and now she wanted nothing more than to do it again. But that was not something appropriate for the future Queen of Revasia.

"Allow me to introduce myself, your Majesty," the prince said. "I am River of-"

"_Prince_ River," interrupted Uther. River inhaled sharply through his teeth, and Rena understood his frustration.

"Prince River Andalles of Myridan," he finished. Rena scanned her brain for any recollection of a kingdom called Myridan. She found none.

"And my niece, Princess Syrene Annabelle Pendragon of Revasia," her uncle said. Yes, Rena did not even have the power to introduce herself. _Oh, the many conflicts of being a woman in this day and age_, Rena mentally grumbled to herself.

"Syrene Annabelle… beautiful name…" River took Rena's hand and kissed it lightly. "…For such a beautiful lady." Rena _almost _rolled her eyes in front of Uther. She noticed Arthur had been unusually quiet. Then again, having grown up with Uther this must have been less unusual to anyone besides her.

"Charmed," Rena remarked, lying through her teeth. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Arthur stifle a laugh. It seemed he was the only one who had noticed Rena's subtle show of reluctance. The princess smiled, but it was meant for Arthur. It seemed that River had his work cut out for him in Rena's eyes. Even though (if the truth is told be told), River was just as anxious about this whole thing as Rena.

Was there truly no way out of this?

* * *

Back in the Darkling Woods, Avianna was as close to Camelot as she thought she would ever want to be. She could see the whole city from her height in a tree. A slight breeze rustled the leaves around her, and just for a second, she wondered what was happening inside the castle walls, what other people's lives were like…

Avianna was a loner, and she liked it that way.

Usually. Sometimes it got lonely.

The young sorceress's eyes sparkled with amusement as she watched a group of children run around the town square. Her face, however, remained emotionless. The boys were no doubt pretending to be knights, saving the damsels in distress and fighting enemies, dragons and… dare she say it?

Magic.

_Those poor children_, she mused. _They are going to grow up not knowing any better… they will believe magic is evil. And then people like me will have a whole new group of enemies._

Avianna didn't even know if she would live long enough to see that day.

The witch ran her hand over the scar on her arm, and coughed as she did so. She had lost track of how many weeks she'd had this cough, but she had a feeling that it was supposed to be gone. Instead, it kept getting worse. It was times like these when she started reconsidering her way of life. _You chose this_, she reminded herself. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself that, she knew it wasn't true. She'd been forced to live like this.

The only time she _really_ thought about abandoning this way of life was when Rena would tell her stories about her home, what it was like there, what was happening with her family…

_Family._

Immediately, Avianna diverted her thoughts. Her family was a taboo subject. She couldn't think about them, or else she might do something she _really_ would regret.

Speaking of regretting things, why hadn't she killed that man who had followed Rena into the forest? Had he _really_ been magic? Or had she just been hoping there was someone else like her and Rena in Camelot?

No, he _had _to be magic. She could feel it. And no, she didn't know _everything…_

But she knew he was definitely special.

_I suppose I should call him back here, _Avianna thought. _I will need to see just how great his power is._

* * *

_Merlin…_

No response. Avianna muttered something under her breath and tried again.

_Merlin…_

Back in Camelot, Merlin was stirring in his sleep. He could have sworn someone calling his name…

_MERLIN!_

The warlock was woken up completely and fell out of his bed. Groaning slightly, he picked himself off of the floor. Who – or what – was yelling at him?

_Merlin…_

The voice sounded familiar… could it be… Avianna?

_Hmm, you're finally awake. _Yes, it was most definitely Avianna. What was she doing?

_I need you. Come to the forest where Rena went before._ That was the last thing Merlin heard from Avianna. He supposed he had no choice but to give in to her wishes. Although… this could be a trap. Rena said Avianna had her reasons for not killing him before, but what if she had changed her mind? Merlin contemplated it for a while, and finally he decided that if he didn't go, there was a chance Avianna would get mad and come after him. If he went to her, at least he would be somewhat prepared.

And Avianna was someone you never, ever wanted to face unprepared.


	5. Decode

**A/N: I know the last chapter was fairly boring, but it had to happen. Hopefully this is better!**

**I've finally figured out what I want to do with this story... so I've just gotta write it all out now. It's looking like it's going to be longer than I first estimated... but I guess that's not a bad thing.**

**

* * *

****5. Decode**

"At last you show up. I have been waiting," Avianna said. Merlin turned around, and she was leaning nonchalantly against a tree. Merlin was certain she hadn't been there two seconds ago.

"You certainly took your time in getting here," Avianna remarked, her voice raspy and tired. The now-full moon shone off her dark hair, and it turned her milky white skin even paler. It was now obvious that she was very beautiful, but her scar had a tendency to distract from that. Merlin hoped he wasn't staring.

"You do not trust me, am I right?" Avianna asked. Merlin didn't respond. "I understand your reasoning, but believe me, if I was going to kill you, you would already be in the ground." _A comforting thought_, Merlin said to himself, not daring to say _anything_ in front of Avianna.

"Why didn't you kill me?" he asked. Avianna's eyes flashed gold, and her hand was suddenly outstretched.

"_Nod gwir a lladd_!" Avianna incanted, bring her other hand above her head. It was facing palm-up towards a high branch, which seemed much larger than any of the other branches. It was almost as large as Merlin himself. Off the tree flew the branch, aiming straight for Merlin, who recognized the spell. Quickly he counter-attacked it, and the large branch was sent back to Avianna.

"_Dinistrio_," she said calmly, and the branch exploded. Merlin looked at her in bewilderment.

"You… why… y-you tried to kill me!" he said, his face a mix of shock and anger. Avianna rolled her eyes.

"You counter-attacked the spell," she said, as though this made it alright. She looked at him from underneath her thick, dark eyelashes, and for a second an amused look came over her face. But it was gone almost as soon as it appeared.

"How did you know I would be able to?" Merlin asked.

"I did not."

"So you WERE trying to kill me?" he yelled.

"No, that was not my initial goal," Avianna said, inspecting her hand for splinters. "If I had not seen you counter the incantation quickly enough, I would have done so myself… probably." She said the last part under her breath. "But your magic is very powerful, I can tell that much."

"So… you _almost _killed me… to test my magic?" he said.

"I would not have let you die," Avianna said. "Too much collateral damage." Merlin decided that the smartest thing to do would be to get away from Avianna as quickly as possible.

"You think I am… mental?" Avianna said, making it sound more like a statement than a question. She raised her right eyebrow. Merlin couldn't say no, because he sort of did, but he couldn't say yes, because then there might be another tree branch flung at him… or this time, she might just hit him with the whole tree.

"Avianna…"

"It's Avi."

"What?"

"Mostly it is my enemies that call me Avianna. Others call me Avi in passing," the sorceress explained. "And I do not see you as an enemy," she added quietly.

"That's good. I don't think I would enjoy being your enemy," Merlin said cracking a smile in relief that this dangerous witch was not against him. Avi's eyes twinkled in amusement, but she did not smile.

"You would not," she said, her voice cracking on the last word. She cleared her throat. She hoped she wouldn't have another one of her coughing fits in front of Merlin. That could be seen as a weakness.

"I expect you back here tomorrow," Avi said, coughing slightly on the "back". "This time I will do my best and try not to attempt murder."

"…And I'm sure I'll appreciate that," Merlin said, giving the sorceress a strange look. Avi turned to walk off.

"Until next time… Merlin." And just like that, she was gone.

"Until next time… Avi," the warlock whispered. He wasn't sure, but he would have bet a lot that Avi could hear him.

* * *

"Really, Arthur, watching you order around your knights _does_ get old after a while," Rena said, as she followed Arthur through the courtyard.

"Oh, but that's half the fun of coming to Camelot, isn't it Rena? You get to see me in action," Arthur said, grinning.

"Hmm. And my mother said you'd grow out of it."

"Grow out of what?"

"Being a royal pain in the arse. Apparently that message never got through to you," Rena said, returning Arthur's grin.

"There are times, Rena, when I question if we are even related, and I regret to say this is not one of them," Arthur said. The two Pendragons may have been cousins, but they were far more like brother and sister.

Arthur had spent all day with his cousin, and he just then noticed Merlin wasn't with them like he was supposed to be. Rena had forced his royal highness to get up before the sun like she did, and he hadn't even remembered Merlin until just then, when he noticed the armor he was carrying was getting rather heavy.

"Rena?"

"Hmm?"

"There is someone missing. I'll give you three guesses." Rena looked behind her at the castle.

"Oh… isn't Merlin supposed to be here?"

"Got it in one, Rene."

* * *

Avi wasn't sure if she trusted Merlin completely. So she decided to keep an eye on him… and his thoughts. When he was asleep, that was rather hard. She hadn't quite mastered her Dream Reading, and instead, she ended up giving him dreams. Whatever she was thinking of, he saw in his mind.

_Merlin saw Rena by a window… she was just looking out of it… and he couldn't tell _what_ she was looking at. But she had a worried expression on her face. Suddenly she turned around, and he could hear her arguing with someone (the voice was male), but he couldn't tell who it was._

_The vision changed. This time, it was Avi. She looked completely different from the girl who had tried to kill him earlier in the night. Her hair was brushed and perfect, and pushed off onto one shoulder. She was wearing a blue gown, something only someone with a whole lot of money would be able to afford. She didn't have her scar either. She wasn't doing anything of particular importance, she was just reading. Suddenly the sound of bells went off. She threw the book under the bed she was sitting on, picked up her skirts, and started running. Before she left the room, she grabbed her dagger and put it in a satchel. Merlin couldn't see where she went. And then he heard a scream…_

_"MERLIN!"_

* * *

"Merlin!" The warlock suddenly felt a rush of cold water hit his face. He jumped up, his head and torso soaking wet. Arthur was standing at the foot of his bed, an empty bucket in his hand and a smug smile on his face. Merlin then noticed Rena standing in the doorway, holding her hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle.

"Erm… what time is it?" Merlin asked.

"About a quarter past-" Rena began.

"It doesn't matter what time it is!" Arthur interrupted. "Do you have _any _idea how late you are?" Merlin saw Rena give him a confused look, her eyebrows scrunched together. _Were you up all night? _The princess mouthed to him. Suddenly a look of realization came over her faith. _Were you with Avi? _She asked. Merlin nodded discreetly, and Rena smirked. _I see_. She mouthed. Merlin wished Arthur weren't there, so he could explain to Rena that it wasn't at all what she was thinking, and he it wasn't like he was attracted to Avi or anything like that…

But Rena was already out of sight.

* * *

Avi decided that even though it was the middle of the day, she needed to get some sleep sometime. She was magic, not immortal. Later, though, she wished she _was_ immortal and didn't need sleep.

_Avi saw herself in her dream, as though she was having an out-of-body experience. Except this scene took place somewhere in the forest she wasn't familiar with. All she saw were her eyes, which were wide with fear. Then she was permitted to see more of the situation. She was in a dark room, magically bound to the floor. Someone was pressing the tip of a knife into her chest, and she could see little dots of red appear on her tunic. She couldn't see the face of her attacker, though._

_"I'll ask you once again, my dear… whose side do you choose to fight for?"_

_"I… will never choose," Avi gasped, the lack of air getting to her. If she inhaled, her chest would rise, and there was a chance the knife would be driven into her heart._

_"I see. Well, then, it seems I'll just have to kill you-"_

_"Wait!" she yelled. A tear ran down her face and hit the floor. "I… I will fight."_

_"With us?" _Damn loopholes, _she thought._

_"I…"_

_"Are you with us or against us, Avianna?" the person growled, pressing the knife even harder onto her chest._

_"I… I am with you," she whispered. She couldn't avert her eyes from the gleaming blade of the knife. One more inch, and her life would be over…_

Avi woke up, sweating and breathing heavily. She put one hand over her heart to make sure it was still beating.

"Oh my God..." she whispered. It had seemed so real…

And then she looked down.

Across her sleep tunic there were drops of blood that had come from the inside.

* * *

**A/N: I used an online translator and the spells are in Welsh. Here are the definitions:**

Dinistrio-destroy

Nod gwir a lladd-Aim true and kill


	6. Emergency

**A/N: I keep forgetting to mention the songs. The title song for chapter 4 was Careful by Paramore, and the song for chapter 5 was Decode, also by Paramore. For this chapter, the song is Emergency, also by, you guessed it, Paramore. (I have a slight obsession, if you couldn't already tell.)**

**

* * *

**

**6. Emergency**

Rena had just slipped on her boots when she heard a knock at the door. She panicked, for she didn't have time to change. She was dressed to go meet Avi for their magic lesson.

"My lady?" Came the voice on the other side of the door. Rena breathed a sigh of relief. It was only Merlin. Quickly she opened the door.

"Yes, Merlin?"

"Are… are you going to meet Avi tonight?" he asked. Rena nodded. _She must have asked him to call her Avi. Interesting…_

"Yes, I am. Why?" Merlin looked down sheepishly. Rena smiled. "Oh… were you wondering if you could come?"

"Y-yes, I just thought maybe…" Merlin began. He was going to say that maybe he could learn something from Avi. _Or maybe I could teach her something myself… _Anyway, he stopped himself because he remembered that he still hadn't told Rena about his magic. He knew he someday would, and hopefully someday soon, but he'd have to when the time was right.

"Alright, you can come, although I'm not sure why you'd want to. You're going to have to be very careful. We should leave separately. I'll go out the east exit, and you go out the west, is that a plan?" Rena asked. Merlin nodded.

"Thank you, my – Rena." He still hadn't gotten quite used to the informal way he talked to Rena, knowing that Uther would have him flogged if he ever heard him talk to Rena like that. Even though the king didn't seem particularly fond of Rena, it just wasn't considered right.

* * *

"I see you brought a target, Rena." Merlin gulped. He was rethinking his decision about coming to see Avi with Rena. "That's good, we have not had a willing participant in quite awhile," Avi said, her manner completely nonchalant. Rena, however, just rolled her eyes.

"Avi, stop it."

"Why?" Avianna looked at Merlin the way a hawk would look at a field mouse it was about to kill. "Why did you bring him if not for that purpose?"

"Because he wanted to come," Rena said.

"I see. Why did you wish to come, Merlin? Was it because you missed me?" Avi said, her eyes narrowing. Merlin thought she looked different from the last time he saw her. She seemed a little jumpy, as though she was expecting knights to come out from the shadows at any moment and kill her for being a sorceress.

"Avi-"

"No, Rena, let me continue. Was it because you wanted to spend some time with Rena when no one would judge you two?" Rena glared at her friend. "Or… was it because you wanted to learn something from me?"

"Avi, why would he – _how _would he – do that?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Rena turned to Merlin, her look suspicious. "Well, Merlin? Is there something you would like to tell the princess?" Avi asked. Rena raised an eyebrow.

"Merlin?" Her voice was dangerously calm, as though she didn't trust him.

"Rena…" Merlin gave Avi his best threatening glare, but she seemed completely unfazed.

"I've had plenty of people try to kill me with their eyes, Merlin. You're going to have to do a little better than that," she muttered.

"Alright, Rena, I… I did come because I-I wanted to learn something from Avianna," Merlin said.

"But, you can't…" Rena trailed off. "Wait a minute… you're magic! Why didn't you tell me?" she said, raising her voice. Avi leaned against a tree and coughed as quietly as possible into her arm as she watched the scene unfold.

"I… I didn't think-"

"No, you really didn't!"

"Rena, I just… I wasn't sure how to tell you…"

"You could have told me the night you discovered me in the forest with Avi!"

"Well, I see that now, but I was a little surprised that night, and I wasn't thinking…" Avi sighed, knowing this would go on for some time unless she did something about it.

"Alright, alright. Rena, we can see the man's an idiot, but something tells me it's natural and he just can't help it," she said. She looked from Rena to Merlin and back again, then raised an eyebrow.

"It seems I have two students now. Well, this should be interesting."

* * *

"Dammit, Merlin, you're supposed to _block _the attacks!" Merlin groaned as he lay on the ground, his head throbbing. He didn't think it was possible, but Avi was even worse when she was training Rena.

"Rena, try the spell I showed you one more time. Merlin…" Avi sighed hopelessly. "Just try not to get killed, alright? Like I said; too much collateral damage." Rena gave Merlin a sympathetic look as he stood up. Avi glared as her two students faced each other again at a twenty-five meter distance.

"You know, the irony of this is that you're stronger than Rena, Merlin. You have a lot to learn," Avi said, enjoying the view from up in a tree. She winced as Merlin once again failed to counteract the spell Rena was attempting. Avi climbed down from the tree and walked over to where Merlin was lying on the ground, muttering incoherent profanities. She guessed most of them were about her. Feeling pity for the warlock, she leaned down and offered him a hand. He took it and stood back up.

"I told you you'd end up a target," Avi said, half-sighing at the now dirt-covered Merlin.

"I didn't think you meant it literally!" Merlin said as he dusted himself off.

"What non-literal meaning could that possibly have? It's _me_ we're talking about here." Merlin only needed to know Avi for the short time he did to know how true that was.

"Listen, Merlin, I told you three times. The spell you use to defend yourself is _gwyro_. That's all you need to say. I know there's a short window of time for you to say it, and you keep pronouncing it wrong, besides."

"How long did it take _you_ to master the spell?" Merlin asked. Avi rolled her eyes.

"Twenty-three minutes, now can we get a move on?" she said.

"Um, actually, Avi, Merlin and I should probably be getting back to the castle. We still need our sleep for tomorrow," Rena said. Merlin gave her a look that said _I owe you._ Rena smiled back at him.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Well, then, goodnight. Good luck, Merlin," Avi said.

"With the spell?" Merlin asked.

"With surviving." Avi turned and left. Merlin gave Rena a look, and Rena shrugged it off.

"She says that to everyone. Don't take it personally or anything," Rena said as the two began to walk back to the castle.

"So, is she always so…"

"Tough? It might just be because you're new to it. You either get used to it or she eases up on you; I haven't quite figured out which one it is. Either way, things get better and easier as time goes on, and believe me; I've learned some pretty life-saving things from her."

"Who did she learn them from?" Merlin inquired.

"What did I tell you about asking me questions like that? You have to ask her yourself."

"And suppose she doesn't tell me?"

"Then that's your business with her. She's not very open about anything, but if you can work it out of her…" Rena trailed off, but smiled at him. "She's really not a bad person. She's just had it rough for a while. One of these days… she'll have to let somebody in. And, hey, if you play your cards right, that person could be you," Rena said. Then she thought about it. "Or she might kill you. You can never be sure with her."

* * *

Avianna was having one of _those_ dreams again. And she couldn't tell if they were nightmares or premonitions of something worse.

_Avi was running through a castle. She didn't know which one. Wait, why was she even _in _a castle? She lived in the forest._

_There was a figure up ahead. Merlin. Avi called his name a few times, and finally he turned around._

_"Avi…" he whispered, looking as though he hadn't seen her in a long while. "Avi, you aren't serious about this, are you?"_

_"I am," Avi replied. She didn't know _what_ she was serious about; only that it must have been a grave matter._

_"You don't have to do this," he said, so quietly that she could barely hear him._

_"No, I do. And I wouldn't do it if there wasn't so much depending on it."_

_"You still haven't told me why this is so important," Merlin said._

_"I know. When this is over, I will," Avi promised. Merlin looked angry._

_"'When this is over'? Avi, I don't even know if you'll be-"_

_"Merlin!" The warlock heard Arthur's voice come from the other end of the hallway. Avi heard it too, and immediately turned around and ran the other way._

_"I'm sorry, Merlin," she whispered to herself._

* * *

Rena Pendragon was once again stuck watching Arthur train with the knights. Well, in all honesty it wasn't too bad.

However, on this day, there was one knight who had caught her attention in particular.

Sir Alexander.

Xander Vyman had lived in her home country, Revasia, until he was sixteen. He left for Camelot then, and became a knight by the time he was eighteen. Xander's family had been just below royalty in the eyes of the people, so Rena often saw him. She hardly ever got to talk to him, though.

Maybe that would change while she was in Camelot. That was, of course, if she wasn't forced to be around Prince River all the time. Not that River wasn't a decent person, because he was, but Rena wanted to keep her mind off of her arranged marriage as much as possible. Which is why she was with Avi whenever she could be. At least when Avi was seemingly working her to death with her magic, that was all Rena had the energy to focus on. But when Rena was thinking about Avi, she started thinking about Merlin, and then she would sometimes get mad.

Why hadn't Merlin told her about his magic when he had found out about hers? It would have been the right thing to do at the time. Although Rena sort of understood that Merlin would have been a little distracted at that point. He had just discovered that Princess Rena, Arthur's cousin, had magic, and then there was Avi who had been scaring him out of his mind.

Avi could scare anyone out of their mind if she wanted to.

And usually she didn't even have to use magic.

Rena made a mental note to make sure Merlin asked Avi all the questions he wanted to. She couldn't guarantee Avi would answer them, but Rena still hoped that Avi would FINALLY be able to open up to someone, and maybe then Rena would figure out a little more about Avi's past.

Rena may have been Avi's best friend, but the amount of information she knew about Avi's life before she met her was minimal. Rena decided that whatever had happened in her past was probably why the sorceress was so guarded, and was ready to kill before hearing anyone's story.

Sadly, this was always true.


	7. Femme Fatale

**A/N: I just want to thank those who have read, reviewed, added this story to their favorites & alert lists! It means a lot to me and although I do write just for the fun of writing, feedback is always appreciated and it really does keep me going. Criticism is always accepted, although I will use those horrible flames to make s'mores! :)**

**(The "inspiration song" is "Femme Fatale" by The Velvet Underground.)**

**(The spell I used in the last chapter, _gwyro_, is Welsh for "deflect". Just thought I'd let you know.)**

**Reviews are love!**

* * *

**7. Femme Fatale**

Merlin looked around him as he entered the part of the forest where he estimated Avi would be. He had a few questions he needed to ask her, and not just trivial ones about her past. He wanted to know what her purpose for training him and Rena was, because for some reason many of Merlin's past encounters with sorceresses had not ended very well. They all had ulterior motives and usually none of them were particularly pleasant.

To top it all off, Avi was beautiful. Why was it that almost all of the sorceresses Merlin ever encountered were beautiful? It made it harder to focus on the fact that they were or could be evil or out to kill someone.

Whoever said looks didn't mean anything was wrong. They could be very distracting, especially when it came to women distracting men.

"You just couldn't stay away from me, could you?" Merlin turned around, and sure enough, Avi was just a few feet behind him. Merlin would never understand how she did that.

"I… I had to ask you some questions," Merlin said. Avianna shrugged.

"Well, here we are, so you might as well ask," she said. Merlin noticed she never broke eye contact with him; a sure sign of confidence.

"You're, um…"

"What?"

"I just want to know if-" Avi's eyes suddenly narrowed fiercely.

"You think I am using you and Rena to, oh, I don't know, exact revenge for all those with magic? You think that I am doing this to attack Uther from the inside, without ever getting my hands dirty?" Avi's voice grew angrier with every word she said. She walked closer and closer to him. Her dark eyes dared Merlin to move. He didn't; he was frozen in place. She stopped inches from him, and her eyes searched his own. He would have said something, but his throat felt like sandpaper.

The sorceress raised her hand as if she was going to recite a spell and kill him, the way he'd pictured her doing every single time they met. But after a second, she lowered her hand, and glared at the ground.

"I just… I want to keep my home safe," Merlin said quietly. Avi looked back up at him. Her eyes didn't look like they were on fire anymore, now they looked… they looked almost sad.

"If you're so concerned about me causing damage to your home, and to people you care about, then why did you come to see me alone?" she asked, her voice much softer. Suddenly she took a step back, and for a second she looked almost worried. "You are alone, aren't you?" she asked. Whatever had happened to her only moments ago - when for a minute, she was unguarded - was over now. Her voice was back to its normal tone, and the usual angry glare was on her face.

"Y-yes, I'm alone," Merlin said quickly. Avi searched his face again, looking for a sign he was lying. She found none.

"Good." Merlin was afraid to ask any more questions. His first one had almost gotten him killed… again. It wasn't like he was ever any good with women to begin with, and now there was Avi… who'd kill him if he said the wrong thing. Finally Avi sighed and rested her forehead on the tips of her thumb, index, and middle finger as though she had given up on… something.

"Listen, you can... ugh, how am I going to do this? Alright, I can see what's bothering you. I'll let you ask three questions a day, alright? If you have spare time, you can come and see me. It's not like I ever go anywhere," Avi said, muttering the last part to herself.

"A-alright," Merlin stammered. He didn't say anything else.

"You still have two more questions for today," Avi reminded him.

"And if I say something to offend you, tell me and _please_ don't try to kill me," Merlin said, reminding himself to breathe. Avi had a tendency to stop his heart out of fear. Avi raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. We shall see."

* * *

As Merlin lay in his bed back in Camelot, he thought about everything he had learned about Avi that night. At the top of the paper was one word. _Avianna._

And then the list.

1. She had a temper, and obviously did not enjoy being mistaken for an evil witch. She wasn't, after all, she just wanted to pass on her knowledge to Merlin and Rena.

2. She was nineteen years old.

3. She absolutely, positively refused to tell him her last name.

That was all he knew… not much to build off of.

But it would have do.

* * *

Avi sighed as she lay down on the forest floor. She'd been walking for a while, and needed to take a quick breather, especially with her coughing problem. She also needed to think.

While Merlin had been asking his three questions, he'd asked how old she was and what her last name was. She had no problem telling him she was nineteen, no, it was alright that he knew that. But her last name made her think of her family. And she couldn't be thinking about them, not when she had other things to focus on. Even when her mind wandered sometimes, she _never _thought about her family.

And then that damn warlock had to bring it up again…

Although, it wasn't like Rena had never asked. But when Avi had said she would absolutely not tell her what her last name or who her family was, Rena didn't ask again. But Merlin… Merlin had been more persistent.

Avi knew one of these days he'd link all her answers together and probably find out something about her she had no intention of him knowing…

But she'd wait until that day came to handle that problem.

* * *

Merlin was walking through the forest, the day after he had made the list about Avi. He heard a sound… he couldn't place it, but it didn't sound good. As he continued forward, the sound became more and more clear… it was a sickly-sounding cough.

What he was surprised to see was Avi, bent over, coughing as though she was on the brink of death. She was death-gripping a tree for support, and her coughs weren't ceasing.

"Avi," Merlin called. That immediately silenced Avi's coughing.

"Merlin." She cleared her throat. "I… I wasn't expecting you until later." Avi's voice was scratchy and rough, and she tried to hold her breath so she didn't cough any more than she already had. Merlin walked closer to her.

"Avi…" He had a concerned look in his eyes. "You're…"

"I'm fine," she muttered. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the dark-haired girl was bent over coughing again. Merlin helped support her. He wasn't sure why he did, but it wasn't in his nature to not care about something like this. Even Avi, who he didn't particularly like… he had to help her. After all, Rena obviously cared about her, and Merlin decided it probably wouldn't score him many points with the princess if he didn't help her friend.

"Avi, you're _not_ fine. How long have you been coughing like this?"

"I don't need your help," Avi whispered. She didn't _want_ to say it quietly, she wanted to say it like she meant it, and maybe add a slight growl to her voice. But she couldn't.

"Listen to yourself, Avi, you're being ridiculous," Merlin said sternly. Avi glared at him. By this point, she was kneeling on the ground, and Merlin's arms were around her waist, still supporting her. "Avi, come with me to Camelot, I know someone who can help you-"

"No!" Avi gasped. A look of confusion came over Merlin's face, and Avi looked at the ground. "I… I cannot go there."

"Avi, you have nothing to fear in Camelot. Just… you can't use your magic…"

"No, Merlin, I cannot go to Camelot for reasons you shouldn't and won't understand." Merlin helped her as she stood up, and held onto her wrists and looked into her eyes.

"Try me," he said. Avi half-rolled her eyes, and wrenched her hands out of Merlin's grip.

"I'd rather not."

"Avi, just… please. Come with me. You know it'd kill Rena if anything happened to you. And then she'd kill _me_ for letting something happen to you." Avi bit back a sharp retort; something along the lines of "Would that really be such a tragedy?"

"Nothing's going to happen to me," Avi said.

"You don't know that for sure."

"Maybe I do." Avi said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, you don't, I can see the uncertainty on your face," Merlin said. Avi drew in a sharp breath.

"Damn," she muttered. "Just my luck to end up with someone who's as stubborn as me." Merlin shrugged.

"I'm not leaving unless you're coming with me." Avi gave him a curious glance.

"Why do you care?" Her mouth then twitched upward at the corners. "Oh, right. Rena." Merlin barely suppressed a blush under the looks Avi was giving him.

"Don't try to change the subject, Avianna," he said. Avi rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to Camelot. Case closed." Merlin noticed that as she said this, her hand went to her scar. Once again, she started coughing.

"Avi… come with me," Merlin said. He looked her dead in the eye, and for a second, he saw her defenses go down.

"Fine," she breathed. "But that's only because there's not enough oxygen getting to my brain for me to think straight." Merlin smiled, and Avi glared at him.

"I promise, I won't make you stay any longer than you have to," Merlin said. "Unless, of course, you _want_ to stay, in which case-"

"I can assure you, that will not happen. You will not have to put up with me any longer than absolutely necessary," Avi said. Merlin shrugged again. Avi looked at the ground.

"And… thank you," she whispered. Merlin looked at her, his face a mix of surprise and… something else.

"You're welcome."

* * *

Avi was sure she was crazy. There she was, walking alongside Merlin, right through the streets of Camelot. There was something wrong with her, and it had nothing to do with her cough.

_I don't feel right about this,_ she thought to herself. _I shouldn't be here. It's far too risky…_

"Avi?" Avi realized she'd gone off into her own thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm still here," she murmured.

"Good. We're going to the castle-"

"What?" Avi glared at Merlin. "You didn't tell me that. Okay, Merlin, I _really_ can't be there."

"Avi, you don't have anything to worry about," Merlin said softly.

"Oh, I have a hell of a lot more to worry about than you think," she growled.

"Look, Avi, this is the only way we can get you healed, alright?" The sorceress dipped her head in defeat.

"This cannot end quickly enough," she muttered as she continued to follow Merlin.

* * *

Rena stood on the balcony outside of her room. As her eyes scanned the courtyard, she noticed Merlin walking into the castle with a girl… who seemed familiar. But there was no way it was who she thought it was.

It sure looked like Avi, though. But she knew her friend would never come to Camelot. God knew how many times Rena had tried to get Avi to come to Revasia. Living in the forest by herself like she did couldn't be healthy.

Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Rena quickly went down to where Merlin was, acting as though she'd been going that way anyways.

"…And then I'll be out of here as soon as possible," said the girl's voice. Rena got a look of suspicion on her face, thinking the girl's voice sounded just a little too much like Avi's. The princess rounded the corner, and almost expected to see what she did.

Merlin was standing with Avi, and both froze upon seeing Rena.

"Oh, this isn't good," Avi said under her breath.

"So, you won't come to Revasia with me, but you'll come to Camelot with him?" Rena asked, raising an eyebrow. Avi rolled her eyes.

"It's not like that, Rena."

"Really? What's it not like, Avi? Because I don't think we're talking about the same thing." Merlin stood next to Avi uncomfortably, watching the two girls' stare-down.

He realized this may not have been one of his better ideas.


	8. Gotta Be Someone

_A/N: Once again, thank you to all who review, favorite, and add this to their story alerts!_

_I figured sooner or later I should do this. *Ahem* I do not own Merlin, just Avi, Xander, River, Rena, and the kingdoms I made up. I don't own any of the songs either, including this one, Gotta Be Someone by Nickelback._

_

* * *

_

**8. Gotta Be Someone**

Rena followed Merlin and Avi to Gaius's chambers, and she continuously gave Avi looks of suspicion. Avi would in turn give her a disgusted look, or ignore her. Finally Rena got tired of it and pulled Avi to her side.

"I don't like it when you keep things from me, Avi," she said, sounding hurt.

"How do you know I'm keeping something from you?"

"It's obvious, Avi. I can see it plain as day in your eyes. You wouldn't be here unless something was up, and I have a right to know."

"I'm guessing that's why you're angry with me?"

"We're supposed to be a team, Avi. Teams do not keep secrets from each other." _(A/N: Anyone who watches _NCIS_ will recognize that Ziva line.)_

"Gaius!" Merlin called as they entered the physician's chambers. Avi's large eyes scanned the room, and Rena noticed they had a slightly glazed look to them.

Gaius turned around from the herbs he was mixing, to see his young charge standing (somewhat uncomfortably) between the Lady Rena and a beautiful dark-haired woman with cold brown eyes. The old man raised an eyebrow and gave Merlin a curious look.

"Um, Gaius, this is Avi, she's a, um, friend of mine and Rena's," Merlin said.

"Hello," Avi said softly.

"I brought her here because she's getting increasingly ill, and I thought you could help her," Merlin said. Rena shot Avi an accusatory look.

"Avianna, you said nothing to me about being ill!" Rena hissed.

"I didn't want to worry you. It's not anything big…" Avi said honestly. Rena sighed, she was feeling extremely aggravated by Avi's belief that she _had_ to be self-reliant one hundred percent of the time. Everyone needed help now and then.

Gaius looked at Avi's pale skin, knowing it shouldn't be that color. He could tell with one glance that this girl had to be very sick. He walked over to her, and motioned for her to sit down so he could examine her.

"Merlin, we're going to have to talk about this," Gaius said. He wasn't going to turn Avi away, but he _had_ to talk to Merlin about bringing home strays more often than not. It was good the boy had a kind heart, but it sometimes got him in trouble.

He hoped that this wasn't the case with Avi.

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

"How long have you had this sickness?" Gaius asked Avi as he looked down her throat. He then went over to the cabinet where he kept ready-made tinctures and remedies.

"Er… a while," Avi muttered, as she cleared her burning throat. Gaius gave her a look, and she sighed. "Honestly, Gaius, I've had it so long I can't remember clearly. But thank you for everything you're doing for me," she said, taking the vial of blue-green liquid he handed to her. Gaius nodded.

"It's going to burn," he warned her as she downed the medicine. She grimaced at its bitter taste.

"Yeah… that stung," she said as she cleared her throat again. Merlin and Rena were sitting in chairs across the room, watching Avi. Rena was still worried for her friend, even if she wasn't particularly happy with her at the moment. She twirled her blonde hair around her finger. Avi recognized that as Rena's tell for when she was nervous. Avi could recognize everyone's worrying/lying tell. When Rena lied, she would reach up and rub her earlobe, usually her right. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Avi wondered what Merlin's tell was.

"So, how exactly did Merlin convince you to come to Camelot?" Rena asked as she came and stood next to Avi. Avi looked at the floor.

"I was coughing, the lack of oxygen was getting to my brain, and Merlin was being stubborn," Avi stated plainly.

"Why didn't you tell me how ill you were? I could have helped you!" Rena said, hurt. Avi's eyes softened.

"I… I couldn't have you worrying," Avi said. Rena sighed.

"No, you couldn't have me thinking you were weak. That's what the real problem was, am I right?" Rena asked, her tone clipped.

"That may have been on my mind," Avi said, not looking Rena in the eye. "I'm sorry. But I didn't think it to be a big deal." Gaius, who had silently been listening to the girls' conversation, spoke up.

"Avianna, I fear it _would_ have been a big deal… if no one had done anything in a short amount of time," the physician said. "Within a year or so, you would be dead." Merlin and Rena turned their gazes to Avi, whose expression was a mix of surprise and thoughtfulness.

"I honestly didn't think you were so thick, Avi," Rena whispered. "If there was something wrong with you…"

"There are a lot of things wrong with me, Rena," Avi said dryly.

"Mm hmm, like the fact you can't stand to have anyone think you have even the _slightest _bit of vulnerability!" Rena said.

"I was taught that that was not acceptable. It is hard to get away from that."

"And who taught you _that_?"

"We have discussed this, Rena," Avi said, narrowing her eyes. Rena groaned.

"You never give me straight answers!" The two were oblivious to Merlin and Gaius watching them.

"Merlin, if I could have a word with you," Gaius said, motioning for Merlin to go out into the hall with him. Merlin felt a lecture coming on. Gaius closed the door behind them, but he had a feeling Rena and Avi were too caught up in their own conversation to pay attention to them.

"Alright, Merlin, who is this girl?" Gaius asked.

"She's… she's a friend of Rena's," Merlin said.

"And where is she from? Obviously somewhere she cannot get proper medical attention. I have never seen her around Camelot. And I have been here for a long time, Merlin."

"She's from… um, well… she's been living in the forest…"

"By herself?"

"Er, yes."

"I see. So why would she be a friend of Rena's? And apparently a friend of yours?" Gaius asked.

"I… I'm not sure, and she's not really a friend, more of an… acquaintance, I suppose… but Rena's known her for a while, I only just met her when Rena came to Camelot," Merlin stammered out. Gaius gave him another look.

"Merlin, there's something about her… I can't put my finger on it, but I'd advise you to be cautious around her." Gaius lowered his voice. "Does she have magic?" he asked. Merlin hesitated.

"…Yes," he murmured. Gaius gave him a disbelieving look. How did Merlin get himself into situations with people like… like Avi? Sure, she wasn't blatantly evil - she was actually a rather nice woman from what Gaius had observed - but there was something about her… and of course, there was the fact that she had magic. It seemed no good ever came from that.

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

"Avi, just take my bed."

"No, I've told you, I'm fine with the floor."

"Why can't you just be cooperative for once?"

"Maybe I _like _floors!"

"Goddamn it, Avi, why do you have to be so difficult about _everything_?" Merlin asked. Avi had one hand rested on her hip and was giving him a defiant, smug, and slightly amused look.

"Because it's fun to see on the look on your face when you get flustered with me," she said. Merlin couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not. She probably was, but there was always the chance she wasn't. All he could do was look at her incredulously.

"Arguing with you is sometimes useless, Avi, but once in a while, I'll win," Merlin said, hoping that this would be one of those times. Arguing with Avi really made him tired, and he was sure he'd fall asleep just as easily on the floor. "Just take the bed, Avianna." Avi's eyes sparkled with amusement.

"When you stop pointlessly arguing with me, _that_ is when you win," Avi said. Merlin was too exhausted to figure out what that meant. Nevertheless, he felt a small sense of accomplishment as he saw Avi climb under the covers of his bed.

"Good night, Merlin. Enjoy your victory," she teased as she handed him a pillow and blanket. Merlin smiled up at her from his spot on the floor. After a minute of silence, he spoke up.

"Avi?"

"Hmm?"

"Does this mean you don't hate me?" Merlin asked. Avi propped herself up on her elbow, with her head resting in her hand.

"What made you think I hated you? You're breathing, aren't you?"

"What, do you just kill everyone you hate?"

"…No."

"It took you a while to answer that, Avi." Avi rolled her eyes.

"I don't hate you, Merlin. I can't say I particularly like you…" Merlin could tell from Avi's voice that she was teasing him again, and he couldn't hold back a smile.

"Sure, Avi. Sure." Avi scoffed.

"Shut up and go to sleep."

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

When Avi woke up, she nearly had a heart attack. Whose room was she in? This wasn't her forest-

Her attention was drawn to Merlin, who was asleep on the floor, and she remembered the previous day and night. Quietly, she slipped out of bed and found some makings for breakfast. She figured she owed it to Merlin and Gaius to at least make breakfast, considering all they had done for her.

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

Merlin woke up to the smell of smoke. He ran out of his room and found Avi standing over a fire, desperately trying to put it out. After the flames had been reduced, she turned around and had a look on her face that said it all: _Oh, damn._

"Um… what exactly were you trying to do?" Merlin asked.

"I was trying to make breakfast, and… things didn't really go as planned." Avi looked sheepishly at the floor. "I thought maybe my cooking skills had improved… apparently not." Merlin looked inside the pot where the fire had been coming from, and couldn't even distinguish what type of food was in it.

"What was this supposed to be?" he finally asked.

"I think it was once porridge," Avi said. Merlin chuckled to himself.

"What?" Avi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing, it's just I sort of thought all women knew how to cook, like it was a skill they were born with." Avi's eyebrow went higher.

"Ah. Well, as you can see, I do not possess such a skill," she said. Merlin laughed.

"No, apparently not." At that moment, Gaius came out of his room.

"What's going on in here? I could have sworn I smelled smoke," he said. Merlin and Avi shared a knowing look, and Avi rolled her eyes playfully as Merlin smiled to himself.

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

Rena and Avi stood on Rena's balcony, where they could see Prince Arthur and his knights. Their friendship had been reconciled, although neither had really said anything to one another. Technically, they weren't supposed to be seen together, since Avi had wanted to get through Camelot completely unnoticed, but it seemed no one was paying them much attention.

"So…" Rena said, sighing. "See any knights that interest you?" Avi rolled her eyes.

"Hardly. What about you?"

"I can't, remember? I'm getting married."

"Oh, yes, to River Andelles," Avi said. She looked sympathetically at Rena.

"I mean… I just want to be able to marry someone I love. And it could never be River. It's just one of those things you know, you know?" Avi nodded.

"Well, I guess I get that part. But I, uh, I lost you there on the 'love' thing." It was Rena's turn to roll her eyes.

"Still don't believe in love, huh?" she asked. Avi shrugged.

"I never have, and I suppose I never will."

"Right, right, there's only-"

"Lust and attraction," the two women finished together. Rena smiled.

"Anyway, Merlin tells me your fine cooking skills are-"

"Oh, shut up!" Avi said jokingly, and Rena laughed good-naturedly. "So I _almost _burned down the castle."

"Ah, yes, well, as long as there's that _almost_, I suppose." Avi subconsciously touched her scar, and Rena watched.

"Why don't you get rid of your scar? It wouldn't be hard to, not with your magic," she said, lowering her voice to a whisper.

"No, Rena. My scar is… it's like a part of me. It's a memory that's not necessarily a good one… but when I got it, it was a defining moment for me. Why, is it distracting or something?" Avi asked.

"No, no, it's not distracting… never mind. I suppose you should forget I asked," Rena said, shrugging it off. Avi nodded and looked back towards the knights, keeping her eye on one in particular.

So what if she told a little white lie?

Rena didn't need to know she'd been watching Sir Alexander the whole time.


	9. Half Of My Heart

_A/N: Disclaimer - I do not own Merlin, or the song "Half of My Heart" by John Mayer & Taylor Swift. Thank you faithful reviewers and readers!_

_

* * *

_

**9. Half of My Heart**

Gaius had instructed Avi to stay in Camelot for at least four days and four nights, while he continued with his treatment of her illness. Avi spent her days the same way, usually. She'd see Rena whenever she could (though usually Rena was busy doing something for her wedding), once or twice she'd watch the knights, and sometimes, she just locked the door and pulled out Merlin's magic book.

"I don't see why you need me when you have this," Avi remarked to Merlin one evening as she was reading the book. It was her second-to-last night in Camelot. "I don't even know half the spells in here." Merlin smiled at her. He was sitting on the far end of his bed, and Avi was sitting cross-legged at the front part.

"I guess… it's different learning from someone else."

"How so?" Avi asked, not taking her eyes off the book.

"Well… which would you rather do? Study from a book, or actually _see_ someone do the spell and learn it?" Merlin asked.

"I suppose it depends on what kind of person you are. I personally don't have a problem studying from books, but I guess that's not your forte?"

"Not really," Merlin admitted. Avi nodded.

Suddenly the door opened.

"Merlin, have you seen my-" Arthur began, stopping when he saw the scene in front of him.

_Damn, this probably looks _really _bad, _Avi thought. Then, she realized she was holding a book of magic in her hands. _Oh God, _she thought. _Oh my God._

"Merlin…" Arthur said slowly.

"Yes?" Merlin asked.

"I came in here to ask if you'd seen my sword…" Arthur said, not taking his eyes off of Avi. "But perhaps a better question would be-"

"Your sword is in your room, polished and ready," Merlin said quickly. Arthur finally averted his eyes from Avi and looked at Merlin. "In fact, why don't we go get it? And if I didn't polish it well enough, you can-" Avi tuned out Merlin's babbling from there. Arthur wasn't looking at the book in her hands, only her, she realized. She felt a sense of relief, knowing what she needed to do to get out of this.

She closed the book slowly, placing it next to her. She looked at Arthur slyly from under her eyelashes, and began absent-mindedly playing with her hair. She bit her lower lip.

"Yes, well, um…" Avi knew her plan had worked; Arthur was completely distracted. She kept her head tilted, so that he couldn't see her scar as easily.

"We should probably go to your chambers…" Merlin said, trying to get Arthur out the door. Trying to remember what she should do then, Avi gave Arthur a small wave. She made sure to bat her eyelashes a few times.

As soon as the door was shut, Avi breathed a sigh of relief and hid the magic book underneath the floorboards. _That was a _little _too close for me. And I've never liked doing that._

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

Merlin tried to ignore the stare Arthur was giving him after they exited the room.

"Merlin?"

"…Yes?"

"Do you want to tell me _who_ that woman was and _why_ she was in your _bed_?" Merlin knew that the situation had probably looked really bad.

"She's… just a friend."

"Really? It didn't look that way to me." Merlin noticed the look on Arthur's face was no longer one of suspicion.

"No, her name's Avianna… and she's really just a friend. Not even a _friend_, really, more like an… acquaintance, I suppose…"

"It's strange though…" Arthur began. "She was so… _familiar_." Merlin shook his head frantically.

"No, I-I think you'd remember a face like hers, wouldn't you?" Merlin was nervous, as Arthur's face was thoughtful and determined to figure out who that woman had been and why she was familiar.

"Maybe." Was all Arthur said. Merlin was extremely curious as to why Avi was familiar to Arthur, but he could think about that later. He had to get Arthur to stop thinking about what he had seen. Suddenly a scary thought crossed his mind.

_Had he seen the magic book?_

Merlin couldn't exactly waltz right up to Arthur and ask him if he'd happened to have seen the strange, beautiful girl sitting on his bed reading a punishable-by-death book. Yeah.

Bad idea.

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

Merlin shut the door to his room and it slammed with a bang. He glared at Avi, who was looking at him as though nothing had happened.

"What?" she asked, after his glare didn't diminish.

"It wasn't bad enough that Arthur walked in on… us…" Merlin began. Avi scoffed.

"Merlin, you make it sound as though you and I were committing some horrible sin just by sitting in a bed together," she said.

"Well, I'm certain that's not what it looked like to him! So, not only did he see _that_, but then _you_ had to go and make yourself look like a… like a… a…"

"Seductress?" Avi offered.

"Exactly! Why did you do that?"

"For the fun of it," Avi said sarcastically. "Look, it is better that Arthur thinks we were messing around than he find this," Avi said, pulling the magic book from underneath the floorboards. "We could have been killed. A little distraction was all we needed." Merlin sighed.

"Well… I guess you're right, but…"

"I'd like to see how you complete your destiny with your head cut off," Avi snapped. Merlin held up his hands in surrender.

"Alright, alright. You have a point."

"I try to." Merlin sat down next to Avi, feeling a little awkward.

"Arthur said you looked familiar," Merlin said quietly. Avi looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"He'd remember my face had he seen it before," she said, her voice flat.

"That's what I said. But I could tell by his face he was _certain_ he had seen you before."

"I cannot imagine why he would think that. Or why he would say that."

"You're certain that he's never seen you before? Or that you've never seen him?" Avi looked Merlin dead in the eye.

"Did you tell him my name?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Hmm. And he did not say anything?"

"No."

"He has never met a girl named Avianna, I can say that honestly, then." Merlin had no idea what just happened, or what the point of Avi asking those questions was.

"So…"

"Arthur and I have never met, Merlin, and that is the end of it. So, to him, I am just a… how did we put it, seductress?" Avi raised an eyebrow as she said the last word, and opened the magic book again.

"I… I suppose."

"Well, in just over a day, I will have left Camelot and I will be out of your hair."

"You… you haven't been, you know, horrible," Merlin said, cracking a smile. "Up until a few hours ago, it was actually quite-" The door opened again, and this time it was Rena Pendragon standing in the doorway.

"What's this Arthur's telling me about Merlin and a "strange dark-haired girl in bed together"?" Rena asked, smirking. Avi rolled her eyes.

"First of all, Rena, we were just sitting _on _the bed at the same time, like now."

"I see."

"But Arthur now thinks I'm a seductress," Avi said, her eyes twinkling with a mischievous sparkle. "Whatever keeps him from discovering our little secret, I suppose. You really should learn to lock that door, Merlin," Avi said. Merlin almost rolled his eyes, but not in front of Avi and Rena.

"Really? What did you do?" Rena asked, her expression clearly amused.

"Oh, well, you know… the batting of the eyelashes, the sultry expression, the hair-playing…" Avi said, trailing off. Rena laughed.

"You'll have to teach me how to do that."

"What, manipulate men?" Avi asked, once again sending Merlin a discreet look out of the corner of her eye. "Trust me, Rena, it is _not_ that hard."

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

It was Avi's final night in Camelot. Merlin would admit that he'd miss having someone around to talk to about magic all the time. He couldn't talk to Rena without looking suspicious, and Gaius, well… if he told Gaius all the things he used magic for, he'd be cleaning out the leech tank for days on end.

With Avi, however, it was different. He could talk about magic all he liked and she'd listen. Then she'd share her own stories, and mention that she was just as irresponsible with magic as he was, but it was different because she lived alone in the forest and it wouldn't matter if she lived or died. Merlin wanted to mention it would matter to Rena… and him… but didn't. Anyway, the point was, he liked having Avi around and almost didn't want her to leave.

In the middle of the night, Merlin suddenly woke up. He looked to the bed next to him, and Avi wasn't in it. In fact, he could have sworn he'd just heard his door shut. Pulling on his boots and jacket, he saw Avi slip out into the hallways of the castle. He followed her, not sure if he should try to call to her or just see where she went.

Merlin followed Avi all the way to under the bridge. There was someone waiting there for her. A man. Merlin hid behind a pillar as he watched Avi walk over to the man, who smiled at her. Merlin couldn't tell who the man was, until his face was lit by a torch as he stepped out from the shadows to hug Avi tightly.

Sir Alexander?

Merlin became even more confused as Avi hugged him back just as tightly. She whispered a few words to him, and he smiled every time she spoke. Avi's dark eyes shone as Merlin had never seen them shine before.

The two sat down on an abandoned cart in the road. Xander kept a hand on Avi's shoulder the whole time. Merlin crept closer, and he could now hear parts of their conversation.

"I didn't expect to ever see you again," Xander said softly, stroking Avi's upper arm. He was looking at the ground, while Avi was looking at him. "And I certainly didn't expect to see you _here_."

"Well, I'm just as surprised as you are!" Avi said, her voice louder than Xander's. "I thought… I thought you were back in Revasia."

"No, after I got word of your disappearance, I left. I didn't know where you were, or if you were even alive. So I came here, looking for a fresh start. But now you're here, and maybe we'll be able to-"

"No." Avi's voice was suddenly cold, bringing down Xander's obvious excitement. "Xander, I'm not staying. I was sick and… someone was looking out for me," Avi said, averting her eyes to the ground. "But this is not my home… my, er, destiny does not lie in this kingdom. Your destiny, however, does… _Sir Xander_," Avi said, grasping his hand tightly.

"But… but, Avi, think of it, please! Just because you don't think it's your destiny doesn't mean you cannot stay with me… even for a little while?" Xander asked desperately. "Come on, Avi, I lost you once and I don't know if I can handle losing you again."

"Xander, you don't know how much you mean to me, but… believe me, fate does not want us getting in the way of its plans." Xander sighed, knowing there was no way to change Avi's mind after it had been set.

"Alright, Avi. Just know that if you ever decide to come back, I will be right here waiting." Xander and Avi stood up, and Xander stroked Avi's cheek. He then kissed her other cheek quickly.

"I love you, Avi," he whispered. Then he hesitated. "Can I _please _call you-"

"No."

"Please? Just once?" Avi sighed.

"Alright, just one time," she said.

"Alright. I love you… Aven," Xander said, smiling. Avi rolled her eyes affectionately.

"I will be seeing you, Xander," she said, her throat constricted. "If I controlled my destiny, this would not be so. But I always knew you would make me proud to be called your-" Tears sprang from Avi's dark eyes and she could not finish the sentence. Instead, she just watched Xander walk off.

Away from her.

Back to his destiny.


	10. I Caught Myself

_A/N: Thank you guys for all your reviews! I feel the need to give a shout-out to Kitty O, who has been a faithful reviewer and has been very kind to me in letting me "borrow" an idea of hers... which I'll reveal later!_

_All the stuff from the last chapter and then some will be explained here._

_The song is I Caught Myself by Paramore, which I think is Avi's theme song for this whole story._

**10. I Caught Myself**

All Merlin could think about for the rest of that night was what he had seen between Avi and Xander. Avi didn't come back. In the morning, when Merlin was still awake, Avi didn't come back.

Merlin decided that if he wanted to see Avi, he'd have to go to her.

Right after he was finished with Arthur's chores.

"Aven… Aven… Aven…" Merlin repeated the name that he heard Xander call Avi over and over as he absently swept the floor in Arthur's chambers. Why had Xander called her that? Why had he wanted to so badly? And why hadn't _she_ wanted him to? Well, Avi was gone, so how could he talk to her about what he had seen? Not to mention she'd kill him if she ever found out he'd been spying on her and Xander.

"Aven… Aven… Aven… Aven-"

"What?" Merlin turned around and saw Arthur in the doorway. "What did you just say?"

"I… um…" Merlin stammered.

"It sounded an awful lot like you were saying "Aven"…" The look on Arthur's face was one of suspicion and… something Merlin couldn't place.

"I-"

"Which is strange because-" Arthur stopped himself before he said anything more. After all, he was in front of Merlin, and these were private thoughts.

"What? Why is it strange?" Merlin asked, hoping there might be a chance he could find out more about Avi/Aven from Arthur.

"Nothing," Arthur muttered.

"Oh, come on, just tell me! What was strange about me saying "Aven"?" Merlin asked.

"It's just… I used to know a girl named Aven," Arthur said. "But that was a while ago."

"Really? What was she like?" Merlin asked eagerly.

"Well, she was… why do you care?" Arthur asked, turning on Merlin.

"Um… because… when you started talking about her… well, she seems, um… important to you? Was she?" Arthur sighed.

"I suppose you'd find out one day anyway. Alright, Aven and I, were, well… we were engaged." Merlin nearly choked on the air he was breathing. By this point he had stopped sweeping altogether. He gulped.

"Y-you were engaged?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, yes, but not by choice. Aven was the princess of Kierian, and we were engaged when she was only sixteen. So, it was three years ago. A few days before the wedding, she disappeared, and no one knew where she could have gone. No one has seen her since," Arthur said. Merlin noticed his expression had gone from nostalgic to just plain sad.

"And… what did she look like?" Mason asked.

"Oh, well… she was beautiful," Arthur admitted. "She had these great big brown eyes that you sometimes thought could see right through you… and she was smart. But her mouth got her in trouble more often that not," Arthur said, chuckling fondly at his memories of his ex-fiancé. "In fact, she looked rather like the girl who was in your chambers the other day," Arthur said, shooting a warning glance at Merlin. "But she didn't have a scar. Besides, Aven would never, ever subject herself to... whatever you two were doing." Merlin ignored the comment.

"And… were you…" Did Merlin dare ask? "Were you in love with her?" Arthur glared at him. It seemed his moment of honesty had ended.

"That is absolutely none of your business, Merlin. But if you must know, the answer is no, I was not in love with Aven."

"Well… were you attracted to her?" It seemed Merlin just didn't know when to stop asking questions. Arthur inhaled deeply.

"I was… well, a little... you should quit while you're ahead," Arthur said, clapping Merlin on the shoulder rather hard.

Well, now there was very little doubt in Merlin's mind that Aven and Avianna were different people.

And, of course, that she had been engaged to Arthur.

Well, with Avi's spitfire personality, how was Arthur not dead?

* * *

Merlin walked determinedly through the forest. He _had_ to find Avi and question her. He _had_ to know what this was all about. Now the conversation they'd had earlier on made sense. She said Arthur didn't know anyone named Avianna.

He sure knew someone named Aven.

"Hmm. Didn't expect to see you so soon," Avi said as she appeared once again behind Merlin. "It's only been a day since I left. Actually, it hasn't even been a whole twenty-four hours. There's something on your mind, and it's damn important, am I right?" Avi asked. _Of course she knows she is_, Merlin thought but did not say.

"Yes, there's something I need to talk to you about… _Aven_," Merlin said, whispering the _Aven_. Avi's eyes widened in anger and she glared furiously at him.

"Where... did you hear... that name?" she asked, her voice dangerously calm.

"I don't know, _Princess_," Merlin said through gritted teeth. Avi gave him a surprised look and searched his eyes. She didn't say anything.

"When I went to go meet Xander," she murmured after a long time of silence, "Did you follow me?"

"Yes," Merlin said. He figured he was going to die anyway.

"And then… Arthur told you all about me, didn't he?"

"Yes." Neither said anything to each other. Avi was trying to think of the best way to explain what was happening, and Merlin just felt awkward.

"Well," Avi began, clearing her throat. "I guess you know my big secret."

"Avi-"

"You might as well call me by my name," Avi said with a sigh.

"Aven…" Merlin mentally sighed. It was REALLY hard to be angry with Avi, er, _Aven_, when she was doing her best to look innocent and beautiful.

"I can explain why I lied, Merlin," Aven said. She knew _exactly _what she was doing. It was similar to when she had pretended to be a seductress in front of Arthur, except this time she was going for the "angel" look.

"I suppose I should start at the beginning," Avi said, sitting on a low tree branch. Merlin sat next to her, and she turned to face him. "When I was sixteen, my father, Jonathan, King of Kierian, my home kingdom, became ill. Well, not exactly _ill_… but, er, he seemed mentally ill. He couldn't remember things for more than a few days at the very most, and his mind was always clouded. It was as though there was a fog over him. Our physician said the end was near for him," Aven said, refusing to meet Merlin's eyes.

"So… is he…"

"No, my father is still alive. It would appear our physician was incorrect. My God, I remember this one time…" Aven said, choking slightly on her words. "This one time… my father called me Diane. That was his mother's name." Aven seemed lost in her own thoughts. "I always did look like her…" Quickly she focused back on the matter at hand.

"Anyway, the good news is he hasn't gotten any worse. The bad news he hasn't gotten any better… and it gets worse. My mother, Felicitia, is pretty much in charge of Kierian now. The kingdom has gone so downhill… it's awful. Do you know why I ran away from my marriage to Arthur?" she asked suddenly.

"Um… because you didn't love him?" Merlin guessed.

"I don't believe in love," Aven said sharply. "Only attraction and lust. Anyway, the reason I ran was because if I married Arthur, he and I would be King and Queen of Kierian. Well, my mother wouldn't have that. I found out that she had a plan to marry me off to Arthur, and then kill me… and she probably would have killed Arthur as well." Merlin was in shock.

"And… you didn't tell anyone?" he asked.

"No one would have believed me. Besides, if my mother found out I was on to her she would have killed me right then and there. She figured I ran away for the same reason you did."

"Aven… are you really going to continue living on your own like this?" Merlin asked. Aven stiffened.

"I told you, I chose to live like this."

"No, you didn't. You had to run or Felicitia was going to kill you."

"I chose to live on my own. I used to live with the Druids. I know you've seen my partial tattoo. I only lived with them for a year or so, and then… well, never mind what happened. Anyway, I don't miss Kierian. I don't miss my title. I miss my family, albeit my mother, but I'm not going back," Aven said.

"Then… stay with me," Merlin said. Aven looked at him, surprised, and in all honesty he had surprised himself. "I-I mean, Xander wants you there, Rena wants you there…" Merlin trailed off.

"Well, Arthur thinks I'm a seductress, remember?" Merlin remembered quite well.

"Then we'll find another place for you to stay. But you-"

"When did you start caring about me?" Aven asked. There was a sharp edge to her voice, but it was clearly shown in her eyes that this was a genuine question.

"Well… I… you've never really had anyone care much about you, have you?" Merlin asked. Aven shrugged.

"I had Xander. But that disappeared when I did." Merlin got a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever Aven spoke of her relationship with Xander. He didn't know why.

But he didn't like the feeling.

"Rena cares about you, as well," Merlin said quietly. "And I'm certain that if Arthur knew who you really were-"

"No!" Aven shot him another death-glare. "Arthur must not find out who I truly am… for unlike you, that man cannot keep a secret. I have been with you for four days, and already it is almost painfully clear to me that he is attracted to that serving girl… um… Gwen? Yes, Gwen. And you were once attracted to her as well, weren't you? Of course, not as strongly as Arthur, but still… attracted," Aven said.

"I… well, I mean… _briefly_…" Merlin muttered, feeling the blush creeping onto his cheeks. This was all rather awkward talking to Aven about the whole thing.

"I did not mean to make you uncomfortable," Aven said, noticing the tips of his ears turning a very pink color.

"H-how do you know these things?" Merlin asked.

"Part of it is my heightened sensitivity to those with magic… that and the fact that you're not all that hard to figure out," Aven said. The two were quiet for a minute, until Aven spoke up.

"You want me to tell everyone who I am," she said, adding a slight sigh on the end.

"You can tell from your magic?" Merlin asked.

"No, Merlin, it is just rather obvious," Aven said.

"I just think that if Felicitia is making Kierian such an awful place to live, you should do your job as a princess," Merlin said, shrugging.

"Ouch," Aven said, wincing.

"Maybe your engagement to Arthur will have been forgotten," Merlin added.

"You forget, I will not have any power over Felicitia unless I am married and Queen of Kierian. And chances are, Arthur would be my King." Merlin didn't like the sound of that. "And, as we both know, that is not his destiny. Besides, my mother would probably kill us as soon as we said "I do". Even though, of course-"

"Aven?"

"What?"

"Say you'll come back to Camelot," Merlin said hastily. He had to get this over with, and she was just stalling. Aven sighed again and leaned against the tree.

"I…"

"For Rena? For Xander?" _For me?_

"Fine. But just until Rena leaves. When she is gone, I will be gone," Aven said, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Good. I think I know a place you can stay."

Merlin didn't bother fighting his smile.


	11. Just For Now

_A/N: Once again, thank you to all my faithful readers and those who review! Yes, those who review DO get virtual Merlin brownies! (Because Merlin cookies are so twenty minutes ago XD)_

_I do not own Merlin, or "Just For Now" by Imogen Heap. Which is a really beautiful song - just saying._

_

* * *

_

**11. Just For Now**

Aven followed Merlin through the castle, wondering where the hell he was taking her.

"Where-"

"-Am I taking you? You'll see," Merlin said, a broad grin on his face. Aven rolled her eyes in an amused way and continued to follow him.

"You just keep me here to get a magic fix, don't you?" Aven joked.

"You might not want to say that so loud," Merlin whispered. Aven almost rolled her eyes again, but resisted.

"Alright, fine." Merlin grabbed her wrist and led her up a dark flight of stairs. As they reached an old wooden door, he was suddenly very aware of how close she was to him. He could feel her cool breath behind him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He ignored the somewhat nerve-wracking sensation and opened the door to the room.

The room was generally unused by the people of Camelot, and any of the visiting nobles. It was at the top of the castle, and therefore was too much of a hassle to get to if there were other rooms available. And because of the size of the magnificent castle, there usually was.

In fact, Merlin was one of the few people who even knew about (or remembered) the room. It wasn't cleaned too often, but he made sure to fix it up when he decided that he wanted Aven to stay there.

"Wow, this is… amazing compared to what I had before," Aven said, looking around the room. The bed creaked slightly as she sat on it, but it was like heaven compared to the forest floor, which she had slept on many times in her early days of living alone.

"Really?" Merlin asked, feeling a surge of happiness that Aven was not only in Camelot, but seemed alright with it. It was more than he had been expecting from her.

"Yes, _really_," Aven said. "But explain something to me."

"Alright."

"Why did you do this for me?" Aven asked, standing up. She was about four inches away from Merlin, until she backed up rather quickly.

"Um… because… Rena?" That was Merlin's sad attempt at an answer.

"Oh, right, Rena. You have feelings for her, yes?" Avi asked. Merlin was somewhat startled by her question.

"You mean… do I… um…"

"It is a simple question, Merlin." He didn't say anything. Aven sighed. "I suppose your silence means that there is just not a simple answer?"

"I… I guess there's not."

"Do you think you could?" Aven asked.

"Alright, when did you become interested in my love life?" Merlin asked, trying to keep the question sounding light.

"You need to stop changing the subject. And it is not yours that I am concerned with," Aven said. "It is Rena's. Yes, we are both women, and frankly that is what we do. Even though one of the two of us cannot cook to save our lives," Aven said. Her mouth twitched at the corners as remembered her little almost-catastrophe with Merlin. Merlin smiled as he recalled the memory fondly.

"Now, are you going to answer my question?" Aven asked.

"Well, if you're asking me if I have feelings for Rena… it's… complicated."

"…I see," Aven said, disappointed in the lack of information.

"So, what about you? Is Xander, your… um…" Aven gave him a blank look until she finally realized what he meant.

"Xander? No, no, he is not my… I mean, we're not courting or anything."

"Oh, I'm, uh, sorry. I mean, I heard him say he loved you… and he kissed your cheek…"

"Number one, Merlin, I don't believe in love, and number two, a kiss on the cheek can mean anything. It's a show of affection, but it could be in a sibling-type way, or a courting way… or just a friendship way," Aven said. Without warning, she quickly got on her tiptoes and kissed Merlin's cheek. It was just a light peck, but for some odd reason, it sent Merlin's head spinning.

"See? Just a friendship thing," Aven said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh… I, uh… I see." Aven gave Merlin a confused look.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Merlin said, a little too quickly. Aven didn't say anything more, though. In all honesty, she hadn't really noticed anything.

"What I meant by that was, Xander is my _brother_."

"Your brother?" Merlin asked, shocked.

"Well, half-brother, technically. That is why I am a princess and he is just below me. Well, he _was_ back in Kierian. When I was fourteen, his father moved him to Revasia. I know he met Rena there… anyway, this is my first time seeing him since I was fifteen."

"And you are very close to him, aren't you?" Aven nodded.

"Yes, very much so."

* * *

For the next few days, everything was fairly quiet in Camelot. Rena was forced to spend more and more time with River, which meant less and less time with Aven. Although to Rena, Aven was still Avi. Aven wanted to tell Rena of her secret, but never felt the time was right. She knew that if she didn't tell the princess soon, there was a chance Rena would do something she'd regret. Rena, Aven and Merlin were impulsive creatures of magic… and sometimes their emotions got the better of them. Well, it was usually Rena and Merlin who were like that.

Rena was with River, sampling wines for their wedding. All eyes were on her, so she had to daintily sip the wine, instead of downing it in one big gulp like she wished she could. Although it was probably for the better that she couldn't, because she was a lightweight when it came to alcohol.

It was a perfectly beautiful day out, and Rena wished that, for just a moment, she could go back to being the happy, care-free girl she had once been. When she didn't know about her magic, and when it was acceptable for her to pretend she was one of the other village girls. (Well, she _pretended _that it was acceptable for her to pretend.)

"Well, Princess, have you chosen?" asked the wedding coordinator, Ursula. Ursula was a kind woman at heart, but a tad too strict for Rena's liking.

"I-" Rena barely got the single letter out of her mouth before Arthur suddenly burst into the room. He was dressed in full armor and had a determined, no-nonsense look on his face.

"Arthur, what's going on?" Rena immediately asked. River stepped up next to her, and the look on his face matched Arthur's almost perfectly.

"We are being attacked," Arthur said sharply. Rena's throat was suddenly very dry.

"By?" River asked.

"The Druids," Arthur answered. Rena heard the warning bells go off.

"Wait… what?" She ran to keep up with the quick strides of her cousin and fiancé. "Arthur, River, this doesn't make sense. The Druids are peaceful people, they wouldn't attack us!" Rena said. Arthur whipped around.

"Well, they are, Rena, and we're unprepared," he snapped. Rena was taken aback. She could count on one hand the number of times Arthur had ever used such a tone with her. She couldn't even say anything at first, but that only lasted for a minute.

"Arthur, are they attacking us at this very moment?" Rena asked.

"No. No, they're not. But we have gotten word that they have a plan in place that they could initiate at any moment. They have the element of surprise," Arthur said grimly. "The most time we have is two days or so."

"Arthur, if what you say is true, then we will stand no chance against the Druids!" Rena cried as she picked up her skirts and ran after River and Arthur, who had begun to walk at an even faster pace. "They have magic on their side, and who knows how many men they will have-"  
"Rena, for once, would you just _shut up_?" Arthur growled. Rena glared furiously at him.

"Fine. But you remember this, Arthur Pendragon. They are not the ones who began this," Rena said, sounding uncharacteristically dark. Uncharacteristically like… Avi?

"Those are dangerous words, Rena," Arthur said in a low voice. At this point, he had stopped walking and turned to face Rena. River was standing off to the side, looking a tad bit uncomfortable as he watched Arthur and Rena's argument unfold. Rena stared defiantly into Arthur's eyes.

"The Druids did not start this war, Arthur. You know that, I know you do!"

"They are the ones who attacked!" Arthur said, raising his voice.

"They have not even attacked us yet! And how do you even know they _will_? You are just going by what your father says again, aren't you? God, Arthur, you _must_ have more sense than that!" Rena yelled. Arthur glared at Rena, but she did not back down.

"You know who you remind me of right now?" Arthur asked, his voice suddenly quiet.

"Who?" Rena asked, still angry. Arthur took a deep breath.

"Do you remember Aven?" he asked, having lowered his voice down to almost a whisper. Rena thought about it quickly, and then nodded. She _did_ remember Aven, Arthur's ex-fiancé. Well, she'd never met the girl in person, but from Arthur's description, she sounded… a lot like Avi.

And Rena she realized something as Arthur and River turned and walked off.

What she had said to Arthur… about the Druids not starting the war… she had taken those words right from Avi's mouth.

Weird...

* * *

"Aven!" Merlin called as he entered the sorceress's room. She looked up from whatever she had been writing, and frowned as she saw the distraught look on his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's… there's…" Merlin didn't know what to tell her. The look on her face was clearly a concerned one.

"Merlin?" Aven asked impatiently.

"There's been word going around… that the, um, Druids are going to… attack Camelot," Merlin said. With every word, his voice got quieter, but Aven heard it all.

"What?" she asked quietly. She stood up and went over to him.

"Arthur's preparing the knights right now. They're going to patrol the borders and I'm going with them. I just wanted you to know what was happening, I mean, since you're up here most of the time…" Merlin trailed off.

"Wait, so, the Druids haven't attacked yet? And was this why I heard the warning bells?" Aven asked.

"No, they haven't attacked, and yes, that is why," Merlin answered. Aven breathed a quick sigh of relief.

"Good."

"Good? How is this in any way good?" Merlin asked incredulously. Aven opened her mouth and breathed in as though she was going to say something, but stopped herself.

"Let's just say I might be able to help. But only if I can find the Druids before Arthur does," Aven said, grabbing her cloak.

"Wait, you're going alone?" Merlin asked. Aven gave him a "duh" look.

"Well, unless you're going to abandon Arthur, I would say yes," Aven said. "It is your call, I suppose."

"I… I have to go with Arthur," Merlin said, feeling a little disappointed that he couldn't go with Aven. He thought it'd be interesting to get to go with her… being magic and all.

"I know you do. You need to keep both him and yourself safe…" Aven lowered her voice and looked him in the eye. "Whatever it takes." The words came out in an almost whisper. Merlin nodded, not sure what he should say.

"You… you be careful, as well," he said. Aven raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't I always?"

"No, actually, almost never."

"Then why would you think this was any different?" Once again, Merlin wasn't sure what to say. It had not been the answer he was expecting. But she did have a point… sort of. All he could do was say the first thing that came to his mind.

"Because now… you have more reasons to be careful, don't you?" Aven didn't answer. "_I _think you do." Aven looked down, blinking unsurely. She wasn't sure what Merlin was trying to say, and she didn't think he knew either. Eventually, she got it somewhat worked out.

"I've said it once, and I'll say it again. You're a good man, Merlin. Do not forget that. No matter what else I say to you," Aven said. Merlin smiled as he watched her leave. Whatever happened, he would remember that moment. He wasn't sure why, but when Aven had said that, it had established a sort of… feeling between them. An unspoken friendship, even if Aven would not admit to it.

Merlin gladly would.


	12. Keep Holding On

_A/N: Thanks to those who read, message, story-alert, favorite, and most of all, REVIEW! If you make suggestions about the story in your reviews, I promsie I will do my best to work with them. I really do appreciate and listen to my reviewers! (Especially my regulars.) Really, even two words such as "good story" make my day! (Although I LOVE long reviews with feedback. Any author will tell you that those are the best.) They really do make the writing of the story worth so much more. :)_

_I do not own Merlin, or "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne. There's a point where I use song lyrics, and the song they're from is "Unbreakable" by Fireflight. The lyrics will be in italics and will have asterisks * around them._

_

* * *

_

**12. Keep Holding On**

Merlin still wanted to ask Arthur about Aven. Did the prince know that Aven was a sorceress? Did he still have feelings for her? He sort of doubted the first one, but the second one... who knew?

Merlin almost didn't want to ask that question, no matter how much it was bothering him. He wanted to ask Aven if she had loved… well, she didn't believe in love, so he supposed he would be asking if she had been _attracted _to Arthur. After all, Arthur had been _attracted _to her…

The thought of Arthur and Avi being _attracted _to each other was bothering Merlin almost as much as his own curiosity.

"Merlin!" Arthur's voice shook the warlock out of his own thoughts and back to reality. "Are you going to stand there looking angrily at the ground for the rest of the week or are you going to make yourself useful?" Merlin rolled his eyes behind Arthur's back and picked up the rest of the prince's armor. He hadn't even realized he'd been glaring at the ground. He must have been angrier than he thought…

Aven stood not seven meters away from Merlin and Arthur, yet no one happened to notice her. She looked on as Arthur ordered Merlin around, Merlin would retort as best he could, and so on and so forth. Aven wasn't blind, and she could see past the façade. She knew that Merlin was not just Arthur's servant, and that he would never be just that. He was Arthur's best friend, and always would be. She knew the legend.

She knew she was not meant to be part of it.

But there she was, meddling with destiny.

Yes, it was strictly forbidden, but to Aven, it seemed that breaking the rules had never seemed quite so justified.

* * *

_*Where are the people that accused me? The ones who beat me down and bruise me.*_

Aven was generally a solitary creature, so she did not mind riding off into the forest alone. She hoped that she could rely on her "sixth sense" to pinpoint the nearest large source of magical energy.

The Druids.

_*They hide just out of sight… can't face me in the light. They'll return but I'll be stronger...*_

When Aven had first left Kierian, she had lived with the Druids for about a year. That was why she had a partial Druid tattoo. And she didn't want to see them die.

Actually, she didn't want to see _anybody _die.

And people called her heartless.

Aven listened intently to every sound in the forest. She only turned around when she heard a voice.

"Why am I not surprised to see you?"

_*God, I want to dream again! Take me where I've never been. I want to go there… this time I'm not scared.*_

"That's my trick," Aven said sharply to the offending person now standing in front of her.

"What is your trick?"

"Sneaking up behind people and asking them rhetorical questions, Alvarr," Aven said, staring down the Druid, Alvarr chuckled wryly.

"You haven't changed, Avi." None of the Druids knew that Avi was really Aven. In fact, there was really only one person who knew… Merlin.

_*Now I am unbreakable… it's unmistakable. No one can touch me… nothing can stop me.*_

"People don't change, I have told you that."

"You know, it's strange, Avi. You are just as guarded right now as you always were with Elrich," Alvarr said, a smug grin on his face.

"Never… mention him," Aven's eyes flashed. She spoke slowly, as though she was in pain.

"Why not, Avi?" Alvarr asked, his voice arrogant and accusatory. "Do you regret what happened that one fateful night, when you-"

"Stop it!" Aven yelled. Her eyes burned with fury.

_*Sometimes it's hard to just keep going… but faith is moving without knowing.*_

"Do you not like it when I speak of Elrich, Avi?" Alvarr asked, knowing full well it hurt Aven.

"Alvarr, I did not come here to fight with you, or open old wounds that have no business even being remembered. I came here to warn you."

"Warn us of what? That your knights of Camelot are coming for us?" Alvarr asked. "You've taken up shelter there, haven't you? What, you think your princess friend is going to protect you?" A low growl was emitted from deep inside Aven's throat.

_*Can I trust what I can't see to reach my destiny? I want to take control but I know better.*_

"I am staying there for the time being, yes. Are you really going to attack?" Alvarr nodded. "What happened to being peaceful?" Aven asked desperately.

"We have sat in silence for too long, Avi," Alvarr said. "Our time has come. Won't you join us, my dear?"

"Alvarr, if you do this, then you and the rest of the Druids truly are not any better than what Uther thinks of you," Aven said desperately. She didn't want to see this war happen.

_*God, I want to dream again! Take me where I've never been. I want to go there… this time I'm not scared.*_

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Avi. But it is time for a revolution!" Alvarr said loudly. Almost immediately, and as if on cue, ten or so Druids emerged from behind the trees. They all looked at Avi, most with expressions of anger.

"You used to fight for us, Avi. What has happened to you?" Alvarr asked.

"I..." Alvarr and Elrich were the only people who had ever been able to make Aven feel weak and insignificant. They could make her question her very existence in the blink of an eye. Although, she was glad to see that there were only ten or so Druids. The others must have had more sense. The Druids were supposed to be peaceful, and here was Alvarr messing up all that.

_*Now I am unbreakable… it's unmistakable. No one can touch me… nothing can stop me.*_

"Nothing has happened to me, Alvarr. It seems that something has happened to the rest of you," Aven said. Alvarr gave her a grim look.

"You are magic, Avi. Fight with us and we will be stronger. _Much_ stronger. I have seen your powers. Why you don't use them all the time is beyond me-"

"Alvarr, stop. I am sorry…" she said, looking at all the Druids minus Alvarr. "But I cannot do this. I came to warn you all, and since you are going through with this…" Aven sighed. "I refuse to fight with you. In fact, I will not fight at all."

"You are either with us or against us, Avi. There is no in-between." Aven's throat went dry as Alvarr walked towards her. He had a look of hatred in his eyes. "And it seems you are now against us."

_*Forget the fear, it's just a crutch to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust…*_

* * *

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Merlin wondered where Aven was. Was she alright? Had she found the Druids?

Were they really going to attack?

The endless possibilities spun in Merlin's head and refused to go away. And still, he kept thinking of Aven. He shouldn't have let her go off on her own. She was strong, but if she came across the Druids and things got ugly…

There was no way she could fight off so many people.

Not even with her magic.

"There has been no sign of the Druids, sire," Sir Cameron told Arthur as they continued into the forest. "No abandoned camps, nothing."

"Keep looking. We must be getting close," Arthur said. Leon nodded. Merlin wished he knew where Aven had been going. Then maybe he could have said something to Arthur, and maybe Aven would be safe, and maybe…

Wait a minute.

Arthur wasn't going to listen to him, no matter what he said. And he couldn't mention Aven, of course…

Merlin realized he needed to stop thinking about Aven so much and focus.

But Aven had something to do with the task at hand, didn't she?

_Of course she does_, Merlin said, trying to convince himself that all these thoughts about her were justified.

_Of course they are._

* * *

Aven wanted to get back to Camelot as quickly as possible. She'd warn Rena, and maybe Merlin if he was back. Alvarr had let on more than he'd meant to during their meeting. As she was leaving, he'd tried to convince her to fight with the Druids, and had let slip some information that could be useful. Especially to those of magic.

Aven ran through the castle, remembering every twist and turn she had been through. She focused on finding Rena's chambers. When she got there, guards were standing outside of the princess's room. And not just one or two guards, but six. Of course, killing them (or at least injuring them to the point where they would not remember her) was not a complicated task. But there were six men there that were sure to be noticed missing if she did. Besides, she didn't have time to get her hands dirty.

She didn't know how she was going to get to see Rena. She supposed Uther had locked her up in her chambers "for her own safety". All Aven could do now was wait for Merlin.

About two hours later, she saw from the small window in her room the group of knights that had gone to search for the Druids return. Sure enough, Merlin was right next to Arthur, who looked rather disappointed. Aven wanted to leave her room and to go explain to Merlin what had happened immediately, but knew she couldn't. Arthur was there, and, well… she still had her pride.

So she waited outside of her room, knowing Merlin would go up to see her.

"Well? What happened with you?" she asked the moment she saw him.

"We couldn't find the Druids. Not a sign of them anywhere. Maybe they're not in the Darkling Woods, although-"

"I know where they are," Aven said, interrupting him. Merlin looked at her in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yes. Merlin, before I continue, there's something you should know about me," Aven said. She walked into her room with Merlin close behind. "Sit down… it's kind of a long story."

"Why?" Merlin asked. "Are you alright?" He noticed the distressed look on her face.

"What? Oh, um, I'm fine. It's just that… I have a, um, history with the Druids. When I first left Kierian, I was sixteen, and I was scared to be living on my own. I met a Druid named Elrich, and he took me to their camp with him. Once they found out I was magic, they seemed… overjoyed to have me there. They could tell how powerful I was. Nothing compared to you, of course, but still… anyway, Elrich took me under his wing. He trained me for a year or so. I was fine with using my powers, as long as they weren't used for…"

"Evil?" Merlin offered.

"Exactly. As long as no one got hurt, I didn't care what Elrich was teaching me to do. I was getting my powers under control, and I liked that. It made me feel better about who I was. The Druids made me feel so much more accepted with them than I had ever felt at home. Then, things got ugly. Elrich wanted me to do… things… with my powers. Things I don't want to think or speak of. I blatantly refused, and things got even uglier. In the end, there was a life-or-death battle between Elrich and I. Guess who won."

"I'm going to say you," Merlin said quietly.

"Yes. It was the first time I had killed someone. No one knew what had happened between Elrich and I. The Druids didn't give me a chance to explain. Once again, I was an outsider. So I left, and I've been on my own ever since. A few months after I left the camp, I met Rena, and I didn't feel so alone anymore. We understood each other. It's gotten easier, but…" Aven's throat constricted.

"What?" Merlin asked softly.

"But… when I was with Elrich, things were… they were so _good_. I'd never felt like that before. He was only twenty when I killed him, but he attacked me first… he left me with my scar." Aven didn't want to say anything more.

"And you were in lo – _attracted_ to him?" Merlin asked. Aven nodded.

"I was. And I was so sure he felt the same. Even if he did, his need for revenge and power was obviously much stronger than whatever he felt for me."

"You really trusted him, didn't you?"

"I did." Merlin wasn't sure what to say to Aven. He'd never been exceptionally good with women, and now Aven… she was so confusing…

He figured the best thing to do was to just comfort her like he'd want to be comforted. He put an arm around her shoulders, and at first Aven stiffened. But her anger at herself began to melt away, and slowly her muscles relaxed. She found herself leaning into Merlin. Merlin wrapped his other arm around her tightly. A single guilty tear slipped out of Avi's eye.

"You aren't weak, Aven," Merlin whispered into her hair. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever met."

"If I was strong, I wouldn't be here right now," Aven muttered.

"If you were as strong as you want to be, I never would have met you. And I wouldn't want that to happen," Merlin said quietly. The words had come out his mouth before he'd had time to think about them.

A part of him wanted to take them back…

But a bigger part wanted Aven to know.


	13. Love Like Woe

__

A/N: I think I should mention I usually post chapter after I get two or three reviews. Just saying! Thanks to all those who do review!

And I've got some killer school projects, so I've been updating more to make up for the time that I'll be gone. Three chapters in three days, I think that's pretty good. :)

_I don't own Merlin, or "Love Like Woe" by the Ready Set._

_

* * *

_

**13. Love Like Woe**

Aven lay in her bed, thoughts coming and going like day and night. It had to be about two in the morning, but there was no way Aven could sleep.

She reflected on what had happened with Merlin. She shouldn't have let her guard down. She shouldn't have let him do what he did.

_But you _wanted _to._

Aven rolled her eyes at the voice in the back of her head.

_Aven, you haven't had anyone care about you like that since Xander. And he's your brother, so in a way, he _has _to care about you. But with Merlin… it was surprising to you that you mattered to him._

Aven sat up put her head in her hands, but that did nothing to silence the voice.

_You missed being cared for, Aven. No one can do everything on their own._

Aven groaned at how utterly and annoyingly _right_ the voice was. Sometimes, she just hated her own mind.

She thought about what Merlin had said about her being one of the strongest people he had met. She thought about what he said about him being glad that he had met her. She supposed he was just glad he had someone he could talk to about magic any time of the day.

_Secretly, though, Aven, you know that's not the reason he cares about you. Secretly, you don't _want _that to be the reason he cares about you._

Aven felt like screaming… at herself.

* * *

The next morning, having gotten little sleep and being somewhat just out of it, Aven used her magic to, uh, "borrow" some food from the royal kitchens. Not for herself, though. It was an excuse to go see Rena. She hoped that she was early enough to beat Rena's maidservant, Guinevere, to the punch.

Aven slipped easily past the guards. As she opened the door to Rena's chambers, the princess looked up in surprise at her friend.

"Avi?"

"I cannot stay for long," Aven said. It pained her to hear Rena call her "Avi", and with such fondness. She _had_ to tell her… just not now. It was a long story, after all.

"What's wrong? Are you alright? You look ill. You aren't, are you?" Rena asked.

"Rena, your maternal side is almost scary sometimes. I am fine, I promise," Aven said.

"Alright… then what is it?" Rena asked.

"With the talk of the Druids attacking, yesterday I went off in search of them. I mentioned to you once that I lived with them for a short time, did I not?"

"You did."

"Well, when I found them yesterday, I found out that… your uncle is right. They are going to attack, and Camelot is unprepared," Aven said. Rena suddenly felt bad for yelling at Arthur.

"What can we do?"

"A man named Alvarr tried to convince me to join the Druids again. And he told me something that may or may not be useful… but I think we can work it to our advantage," Aven said. "There is a Druid boy, Mordred. When I met him, his name struck a chord with me but I did not know why. He is very powerful, and apparently, he, Merlin, and Arthur have a little "history" together." Rena raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Do tell." Aven explained to Rena… everything. Everything Alvarr had told her about Mordred, Merlin, and Arthur, and everything she "knew" because of what he had told her.

"…And I believe there is a prophecy stating Mordred will be the death of Arthur," Aven finished. _Might as well go out with a bang, _she thought Rena stared at her in horror.

"So Mordred will be there when the Druids fight, even though he is young?"

"Yes." Rena had gone completely white.

"Arthur is riding out with the knights tomorrow to fight. They received a message late last night warning them of the Druid's attack… and it was from the Druids themselves." Aven's expression was one of complete shock. Aven and Rena were both thinking the same thing, but neither woman dared to say it.

Arthur could very well die tomorrow at the hands of Mordred.

Rena was pacing inside her chambers. She felt suffocated, no matter how large the room was. Eventually, she had to convince the guards to let her go get some fresh air, just for a moment. Her breathing had become rapid and shallow out of worry for her cousin.

As she walked down the hallways, she found herself being grabbed by the arm and dragged into a corner of the hall. _Oh God… maybe I should have listened to my uncle and just stayed in the room!_ Rena thought, panicking.

"Calm down, Rena. God, you look like you've seen a ghost." Rena breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the sarcastic voice of Aven.

"Hell, Avi, were you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?" Rena asked, catching her breath, which she didn't even realize she'd been holding.

"No. But I need to ask you about something."

"What?"

"Arthur's riding out with the knights today… and there's something I should – well, actually, I think I kind of _have_ to do it… anyway, I need your help." Rena raised an eyebrow.

"Alright…"

"Can you loan me a dress?" Aven asked.

"Well, yes, but… why?"

"I promise you, Rena, I will explain _everything_ the moment I get back from what it is I have to do," Aven said, placing a hand over her heart. Rena nodded.

"Alright, I trust you." Aven felt _awful_ about deceiving Rena for as long as she had, and she knew the longer it went on, the worse the end result would be.

But, as she had said before, there was something she needed to do.

* * *

_Okay, remember how to do this,_ Aven thought. She was trying to remember the way she had always fixed her hair when she was a princess. The way she'd had it done the night she met Arthur for the first time. Her thick, dark, wavy hair was in an elegant up-do, with one curl hanging down by her face.

The dress she was wearing was a little bit loose on her, since she was a petite girl and therefore shorter than Rena. The shoulders of the dress kept falling, no matter how many times Aven tried to stitch them up. _Oh well, if I do this right it should only take a few minutes._

Aven had been surprised with Rena's dress of choice. It looked like a replica of the blue dress she had worn the last time she'd seen Arthur… the day before she disappeared. Every time she thought about it, the guilt ate away a little more at her.

Tying a black cloak around herself, Aven slipped out of her room and ran down to the courtyard. There was Arthur, next to his warhorse. The sorceress took a deep breath. She was seriously beginning to doubt her idea. She touched her face, to make sure the spell she had used to make her scar temporarily disappear was still working. It was.

She cleared her throat, attempting to make her voice sound more whimsical and more lady-like than it usually did… somewhat like what Rena's sounded like.

"Sire?" Arthur turned around to see a woman, who looked far too familiar for his liking…

Wait a minute…

That couldn't be… Princess Aven? Aven Vyman? But she had disappeared three years ago! And she was even more beautiful than she had been when he was supposed to marry her, back when he was seventeen.

"Aven?" he asked, shocked. He didn't believe his eyes.

"I only came here for one reason," Aven said. "I… you're going to fight the Druids. And there is that risk that you will not come back."

"But-"

"Stop. Let me talk for a moment," Aven said, placing a finger over Arthur's lips. "It is selfish of me, I know, but…" Aven sighed, she really didn't know what she was doing. "I… I wanted to be one of the last people to see you. Just… because."

"You never said goodbye to me," Arthur said quietly.

"I didn't say goodbye to anyone."

"That doesn't make it all right," Arthur said. The look on his face was hurt. Aven sighed again. This was not going according to plan.

"Listen, I didn't come here to open old wounds. I just wanted to see you… in case it was the last time I ever got an opportunity to do so," Aven said. She turned to leave, but Arthur reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"What do you think you're doing?" he whispered.

"Leaving."

"I'm not letting you get away from me this time."

"And how exactly do you plan to ensure that little idea, Arthur?" Aven asked. "Look, in leaving, I did us both a favor. I think we both know that you and I are not meant for each other. You have someone else now, don't you?" Aven asked. "Not that you will admit it to me… or to anyone else." Arthur stared at her, bewildered.

"I never understood how you always knew things that you shouldn't have."

"And perhaps you never will," Aven said softly. "But know this, Arthur. I _did _care about you. And I probably always will," Aven said, reaching her hand up and stroking his cheek gently. "Whatever happens, I'm honored to say that I was your friend, and I suppose that if I had to marry you, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. But we are not meant to be together, so it must be for the best." With that, Aven kissed Arthur's cheek, and left before he could stop her a second time. Arthur stared after Aven, not really sure if it had been a dream or not.

_Damn good dream if it was,_ Arthur thought to himself as he mounted his horse. _A _damn_ good dream._

* * *

Aven was two seconds away from hitting her head as hard as possible on the walls of her bedroom. Really, had Merlin not walked in, she might have given herself a concussion.

"Are you alright?" the warlock asked, seeing Aven's distressed expression.

"Far from it, actually. I just did something very, very stupid… but it felt justified. Anyway, it is not important. Wait a minute…" Aven looked sadly at Merlin. "You are leaving with Arthur and his knights, aren't you?"

"Yes… I just wanted to tell you goodbye," Merlin said. Aven blinked twice, not sure what she was going to do with herself if he didn't come back. Sure, she had Rena, but… still… Merlin… he was her friend. There, she admitted it.

"Hang on," Aven said. She reached up and pulled out the dark blue ribbon out of her hair. Taking Merlin's right hand, she tied it around his wrist. In the fabric were thin threads of silver, weaving in and out of each other.

"It is technically Rena's… but consider it from the both of us," Aven said. "And I know I do not need to say it…" Aven trailed off. She was never good with situations like this. She'd already done this once today, and failed miserably. "Be careful," she whispered. It was so quiet, it was almost as though she simply mouthed the words.

"I will be," Merlin said, looking into her eyes. Aven took her bottom lip in her teeth nervously as she stared back into Merlin's blue orbs. Merlin realized he'd never really noticed that Aven's eyes were not just _brown_, but were rather a smooth chocolate brown with flecks of even darker chocolate-brown in them. The same dark shade of brown formed an almost paper-thin ring around her irises. The darkness of the ring and flecks matched with the chocolate brown next to the blackness of her pupils made for a truly breathtaking effect.

"I…" Merlin knew he had a lot to say to her, but he didn't know what it was. Aven looked down, breaking their mutual gaze, and then looked back up at him softly, as if to say _I know._

An hour or so later, Aven sat next to her window, looking out of it expectantly. There was Arthur with his knights… and Merlin next to him. _Strange, _Aven thought. _Usually a servant would be placed in the back. But then again… Merlin is no ordinary servant._

Aven fiddled with the hem of her dress, which she had yet to change out of. _But of course, this is how the legend goes, isn't it? Arthur and Merlin, together as a team… brothers, almost… and Arthur the head of all the knights of Camelot. They have to come back after the battle, they _must. _Their destiny will become reality, and that will become legend._

_A legend I am not meant to be part of._

_But here I am, no matter what happens._

_And I am here to stay._ Satisfied with her thoughts, Aven pressed her forehead against the cool glass as the knights left. _There are four men there with ties to Rena, _she thought. _River is there… Merlin, Arthur… and Xander. _Xander and Aven had exchanged a quick goodbye earlier on.

As the knights began to fade from view, Aven could have sworn she saw Merlin look back at the castle, and right into her eyes.

But of course, that would be impossible, now wouldn't it? He was hundreds and hundreds of meters away from her. It was probably just a trick of the light.

After all, things like that just didn't happen… did they?


	14. Misery Business

_A/N: You'll never guess who the song "Misery Business" is by. Yeah, it's PARAMORE. I don't own the song, or Merlin._

_Thanks to my reviewers who make it all worth it!_

**14. Misery Business**

_"Why don't you believe in love, Avi?" Elrich turned to face the sixteen-year-old witch. Being twenty himself, it was decided that he would be the best mentor for her._

_"Growing up, I never saw it. My parents were not in love, and… I suppose you could say I did not get out much. My parents did not get along, so I made myself believe that love simply did not exist, and soon enough I had convinced myself of it. I do not think my mind could be turned around," Aven said. She didn't hesitate to tell Elrich the truth. He knew everything about her… except who she really was._

_"I could show you love," Elrich said, suddenly standing next to her. "I could teach it to you, as I've taught you so many other things. Aven, won't you let me?" he whispered in her ear. He sounded almost… desperate. Aven backed away._

_"S-shouldn't we be practicing?" she asked nervously. "The, um spells?" Elrich sighed in defeat._

_"Yes, I suppose we should. Forgive me, Avi, I did not mean to-"_

_"No, Elrich, you did nothing wrong," Aven said. She suddenly regretted what she'd done. Would he have kissed her? Would it have turned into something more? She wanted it to, didn't she?_

_Of course she did._

_But, as his student and friend, she could never admit that._

_Never…_

_The scene changed. Aven and Elrich were fighting in the middle of the forest, away from all the other Druids. Far away. They were in the midst of their fight… the fight that had ended Elrich's life._

_"You never listened to me!" Elrich shouted at Aven as he deflected one of her spells. "And I cared about you when no one else did! To think I _loved_ you!"_

_"You didn't care about me, and you sure as hell didn't love me! You only cared about my magic, you lying bastard!" On her last angry word, Aven threw a spell at Elrich so furiously that it broke his shield, and hit him directly in the heart._

_Elrich collapsed._

_Aven stared at him in horror. She hadn't meant to do that. She'd never killed anybody before, and she didn't want to start now._

_Elrich wasn't moving._

_Quickly, Aven ran over to him._

_"Oh, my God, Elrich, oh my _God_," she sobbed. How was she going to explain this to the Druids? More importantly, how could she have killed Elrich?_

_Maybe he really had been in love with her._

_But now she'd never get to know._

_She'd never get to figure out for herself if love really _did _exist…_

Aven jolted awake.

_Breathe_, she told herself. _Steady your breathing. That's what Elrich always taught you. _Aven hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep. Her head was still resting on the windowsill, and there was a red mark on her forehead from the pressure it had been under. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. And when did she start dreaming of Elrich? She hadn't dreamt of him since…

Since she'd killed him. She didn't want the memories of him coming back. She didn't need that, not now. Not when so many other things were happening.

She wondered what was happening with Merlin, Arthur, River, and Xander. Were they all okay? After her little flashback, she didn't know if she could handle losing another person in her life.

She knew that she would feel much better had she gone with the knights, but Alvarr had warned her of returning unless she was going to fight with the Druids. Threatened her with death in many ways; none of them pleasant, quick, or easy. And who would it be helping if she died?

Well, it would help the Druids, but other than that, no one would benefit.

Aven tied up her hair to keep it out of her eyes while she looked under her bed for Merlin's spell book. She wanted to know if there was any kind of spell she could use to communicate with him on short notice and with no one realizing it.

No such luck.

Merlin really could've used it, though.

* * *

Merlin wasn't sure how Aven had survived living on her own in the forest. Not that she wasn't completely capable of fending for herself, no matter what she might happen upon in the woods, but it was so dark and lonely at night. And Merlin was surrounded by some of the bravest men in Camelot.

He decided that Aven would be thinking very little of him were she there.

Considering this, Merlin immediately abandoned all thoughts of anxiousness in the forest. It was just the _forest_, for God's sake, he'd done this before. More than once, actually. But that night, there was something dark and ominous hiding behind the trees. It wasn't something that he could see, but it was something he could _feel_.

And he didn't like the feeling at all.

Merlin thought about Aven. He thought about the way her eyes had looked when he was leaving, when she had let her guard down and told him about Elrich…

If Elrich wasn't already dead, Merlin was pretty sure he'd have killed him.

No one deserved to be hurt and used like Aven had been.

Merlin pulled his list about Aven out of the pocket of his jacket. Yes, he took it with him. He wasn't sure why, he had just grabbed it as he was leaving. The only time he'd ever updated it was the night before he left, coincidentally. He had scratched out the name Avianna at the top and replaced it with Aven.

1. She has a temper, and obviously does not enjoy being mistaken for an evil witch. She isn't, after all, she just wants to pass on her knowledge to Rena and I, apparently.

2. She is nineteen years old.

3. She absolutely, positively refuses to tell me her last name.

4. Her brother's name is Xander. He's a knight of Camelot.

5. Her last name is Vyman.

6. Her best friend is Rena.

7. She lived with the Druids.

8. She was a princess, until her apparently insane mother threatened to kill her.

9. She was going to marry Arthur.

10. She doesn't believe in love.

11. The closest she ever got to love was with a Druid named Elrich.

12. She later killed him after he used her for her magical abilites.

13. She doesn't easily let her guard down.

14. She got her scar from Elrich, and wears it as a symbol.

Merlin remembered that the last time he'd seen her, her scar had looked faded. It may have just been his eyes playing tricks on him. After all, he was more focused on her chocolate-brown orbs than anything else.

He realized that there was something he needed to add to the list if he ever got a chance. It would be number fifteen.

He had never, ever seen Aven smile.

He'd seen her mouth turn up slightly at the corners, and once he'd gotten a little half-smirk from her, but he'd never seen her genuinely smile.

And something made him realize that he really, really wanted to.

* * *

_Elrich and Alvarr were sitting in Ysmina's test. Ysmina was the most incredible seer in the entire Druid camp. Her predictions were almost always correct._

_And her tent was always dark._

_Ysmina had looked especially solemn as the two Druid men had entered her tent that day. She'd been looking mostly at Elrich._

_"Ysmina, have you seen anything about a young, dark girl with magic in your visions?" Alvarr asked, cutting right to the chase._

_"I have. She has shown up today, has she not?" Ysmina said._

_"She has. What we need to know is the extent of her powers," Elrich said. Ysmina closed her eyes and recited the prophecy she had been told._

"The one with a secret will be joined with another.

Alone she stands no chance,

With him, she is whole.

She is strong, though it takes but one wrong move to bring her down.

Help from the sidelines will guide her.

On her own, she will suffer.

With him, she is whole._"_

_Elrich grinned as Ysmina finished recited the prophecy. Already he had decided that the "he" the young sorceress would be joined with was him. He was an ambitious man, and had set his sights on the forest girl from the moment he'd lain eyes on her. He also believed that the "help from the sidelines" would be Alvarr._

_"But be warned," Ysmina began, opening her eyes and staring gravely at the two men. "With this beauty comes trouble. Trouble for you…" the Seer said, looking at Alvarr. "…But it will be worse for you," she finished, directing her gaze at Elrich._

_"So what you're saying is, her abilities are weak?" Alvarr asked, looking rather disappointed._

_"Far from it, Alvarr. She is a powerful little witch. But in time, she will face the ultimate test, and she cannot fight it alone, as I said before," Ysmina said. "I am trying to warn you of her. She is not evil, but she will be the destruction of-"_

_"Thank you, Ysmina," Elrich said as he and Alvarr turned to leave. "You have helped us enough."_

_"Wait, I really should warn you of-" Ysmina didn't get a chance to finish, as Alvarr and Elrich were already gone. She sighed._

_And she never did get to warn them about Aven._

Aven was woken up a second time… this time by Rena. She was actually asleep in her bed this time.

"How can you sleep at a time like this?" Rena asked incredulously as Aven ran a hand through her tousled hair.

"I did not realize I had fallen asleep," Aven said, staring off into space. She couldn't believe what she'd just seen. She was certain now that Elrich's "feelings" for her had never been real. He'd just wanted use of her powers.

"Well, you did," Rena huffed.

"You did not sleep at all, I take it?" Aven said, noticing the dark circles under Rena's eyes and the paleness of her skin. "They have been gone for two days, Rena. You need to take care of yourself," Aven said, feeling hypocritical.

"I can't believe you would say that," Rena said. "Well, I haven't seen you eat or leave this room since they left. You should follow your own words of wisdom," Rena said.

"You are cold this morning," Aven remarked, obviously not meaning temperature-wise.

"What do you expect, Avi? My cousin, and… and Xander… and Merlin, and River… they're all out there!"

"I know, Rena, I know." Suddenly Aven thought of something. "You said Xander's name right after you mentioned Arthur."

"So?" Aven shrugged,

"Nothing, it's just you put him before Merlin."

"It was something I said, Avi. It was a coincidence," Rena said, rolling her eyes.

"I do not believe in coincidences. I think there are lucky breaks and complete accidents but there are _not_ coincidences."

"Ave, I'm getting married. Thinking of Xander the way you're insinuating is borderline illegal at this point." Aven gave Rena the most sympathetic look she could muster.

"There is not a ring on your finger yet, Rena. Remember that. There is still a chance."

* * *

_Jonathan,_

_I regret to say that as of late, our ties as allies and friends have faded. But with this letter, I bear good news. Your daughter, Aven, has recently been spotted in Camelot. I know that this is probably the last place anyone would think to look for her, but I fear that she has been right under our noses for the three years she has been gone._

_I spotted her one afternoon as some of my men were preparing to go to war with the Druids, who have become a serious threat. As the knights were leaving, I saw Aven go to and embrace my son. I did not hear the words that were exchanged, but I promise I will do my best to find her and bring her back home to you as soon as I can. Perhaps you would like to come to Camelot yourself? And, of course, bring your wife Felicitia._

_Warmest regards,_

_Uther Pendragon_

* * *


	15. Never Say Never

_A/N: I do not own Merlin, that belongs to BBC. I don't own the song "Never Say Never" by The Fray, either._

_Enjoy, and please, PLEASE review! I really do appreciate any and all feeback._

**15. Never Say Never**

Aven was mending a rip she had gotten in Rena's dress when she had worn it. For almost a minute, she had felt like a princess again. It wasn't a _bad _feeling, but she didn't welcome it either. It was just _there_.

Rena had told her that she could keep the dress, but Aven wanted to give it back. Every time she looked at it, she felt guiltier and guiltier.

Aven sighed and put down the needle and thread. She needed air.

Opening the window that led out to her tiny balcony just outside of her room, she squinted in the bright sunlight as she saw a… confusing sight.

Wait a minute... the colors on the flags…

The crests that the knights bore on their shields…

Deep purple, dark blue, and silver were the colors of the flags… the crest of a falcon in flight in front of a crescent moon was portrayed on the shields of the knights…

Aven's dark eyes widened.

"No," she whispered. She ran.

Slamming the door to her room behind her, she ran as quickly as she could down to Rena's chambers.

"Oh, God, _no_."

Aven didn't bother knocking on Rena's door. She ran in and slammed the large oak door behind her. She whipped around to see Rena staring at her.

"…Something wrong?" Rena asked.

"Sit."

"Alright…" Rena sat on her bed. "Care to tell me what this is about?"

"_Verwyder mobiliteit_," Aven muttered, holding her hand out and looking at the floor as she said the spell. Suddenly Rena froze in place.

"Any reason you just took away my ability to move?" Rena asked angrily. "If you don't start explaining-"

"I just didn't want to take any chances," Aven muttered.

"Any chances on _what_?" Rena asked.

"You strangling me." Aven murmured. _It really is now or never, _she thought. As quickly as she could, she explained _everything _to Rena.

Her past life as a princess.

Her engagement to Arthur.

Her life with the Druids, and Elrich's betrayal.

Her encounter with Xander, and how Merlin found out about her.

She even explained what she used Rena's borrowed dress for.

"…And I am so, so, _so _sorry I didn't tell you about this before. But you have to understand my reasoning. And now that people from Kierian are here, I fear they are looking for me. I think someone saw me when I… borrowed your dress and said goodbye to Arthur. I had removed my scar… with magic," Aven said. Rena glared at the ground.

"I understand now why you used that spell on me," she muttered. "Did you think you could not trust me, Avi – Aven?" Rena asked sadly.

"No! It is not like that at all. I know I can trust you, Rena, I trust you with my life. Do you think I would be here right now if I did not?"

"I…" Rena sighed. "I suppose you must trust Merlin an awful lot then?"

"I did not really have a choice on that one," Aven said. "He found me out."

"And now you think that your father's men are here-"

"I saw my father and mother with them," Aven added.

"And you hate your mother, correct?" Rena asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She was going to kill Arthur and I. I am not a fan of hers, no. Will you help me?" Aven asked desperately. Rena sighed again.

"You're my best friend. I do not have a choice," Rena said, smiling. Aven breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much, Rena. I owe you for this. I owe you a lot."

"Hell, yes, you do," Rena joked. She still felt a little sad that Aven hadn't been honest with her about who she was, but she did understand where her friend was coming from. She was willing to let bygones be bygones, as all the best friends will.

"_Herstel mobiliteit_."

* * *

Alvarr looked into Ysmina's crystal ball. He was looking for answers about Aven, who was Avianna to him.

"You are afraid of this girl, yes?" Ysmina asked. Her hands were placed on top of the crystal ball, and her eyes were closed. She knew Alvarr would not see anything in the crystal that she did not want him to see.

Alvarr didn't want to answer Ysmina's question. Admitting that yes, he _was_ scared of a nineteen-year-old girl who he had found at sixteen years old alone and afraid on the edge of the forest was just… weak. Or so he thought. He'd done his best to teach the young girl that weakness was never acceptable.

"You must answer honestly if I am to see true, Alvarr," Ysmina reminded him. Alvarr looked down in defeat.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" Ysmina smirked. She was now just trying to get on Alvarr's nerves. It was his fault for not listening to her those three years ago. Well, it had been Elrich's as well, but Alvarr was the only one of those two still alive.

"Yes, I am afraid of her," Alvarr said, his eyes narrowing.

"Ah… you should be," Ysmina said, her face scrunching up in thought and confusion.

"Why?" Alvarr asked, trying not to let his true fear show in his voice.

"As I told you, she is a powerful sorceress. And I trust you remember the prophecy?" Suddenly a thought struck Alvarr.

"Yes, I do. Thank you, Ysmina, but I have realized something, and I know all I need to." Ysmina glared at him. This was a repeat of three years ago.

"Alvarr, you did not heed my words three years past, and now Elrich is dead. I suggest you do not make the same mistake," Ysmina said.

"Ah, but it may be Elrich's death that shall aid me," Alvarr said, making a hasty exit. Ysmina sighed. _It's his funeral_, she thought.

And it really would be, unless he got smart and listened to her. Not that Ysmina was on Alvarr's side, (and she had always liked Aven,) but didn't want to see anyone die unnecessarily.

* * *

Contacting the dead in your sleep was a dark practice that Alvarr had never been especially eager to practice. But these were desperate times, and of course called for desperate measures.

Alvarr closed his eyes, lit the candles, and the smell of exotic spices began to fill his tent. He closed his eyes as tightly as he possibly could…

_"What is it you want, Alvarr?" asked an angry voice. Alvarr was standing in a dark room, looking at Elrich sitting on the floor of a cave. The younger man's eyes were bloodshot, and he had a look of disgust on his face._

_"I… I have a job for you."_

_"How dare you come to ask something of me?" Elrich growled. He made an attempt to spring himself at Alvarr, but found himself unable to. He sighed in defeat and placed his head in his hands._

_"This is about Avi, isn't it?" he asked._

_"She killed you, Elrich. Don't you want revenge on her bloodthirsty soul?"_

_"Every day I wish for it," Elrich said, looking up. "You have a plan?" Alvarr nodded. Then Elrich's expression fell. "If you are hoping to use me to damage Aven's psyche, she does not care for me anymore."_

_"You may be wrong," Alvarr said. He felt sorry for Elrich, who he knew had cared for Aven. But, in the end, it was his lust for power that triumphed over his feelings for the girl. "Anyway, that is not my plan." Elrich smirked._

_"Now _this

* * *

_I cannot wait to hear."_

Aven placed a hand over the scar that began on her face.

"_Gael gwared ar y marc_," she whispered. She repeated the spell each time she moved her hand down the scar, until it was completely invisible. The spell was a temporary one for scar removal.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked so different without it.

Tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear, she absently wondered what Merlin thought about her scar. Should she remove it permanently as Rena had suggested?...

_You have more important things to worry about than what Merlin thinks of your scar. Idiot_, Aven mentally chided herself for getting distracted. _Focus on the problem at hand._

"If you don't want to be found, why are you removing your scar again?" Rena asked from the doorway. Aven turned around quickly. "You ought to lock this door," Rena said quietly.

"It doesn't lock," Aven muttered. Rena smiled softly at her friend and stood behind her. The two women looked at their reflections in the mirror.

"I'm really worried, Aven," Rena whispered. "What if Arthur doesn't come back?"

"What if Xander doesn't come back?"

"What if Merlin doesn't come back?"

"What if River…" Aven didn't finish her sentence. "Eh, it wouldn't be much of a loss."

"AVEN!"

"I am kidding! God, Rena, calm down. I do not wish for anything bad to happen to River, either. But I believe that they are safe. Alvarr is leading the rebel Druids, I have told you, and he is smart enough to stay away from the knights until he believes the time is right. Which I do not think is now. The most we can hope for is the Druids start a war amongst themselves."

"Why do I doubt that happening?" Rena asked.

"Because luck is rarely on our side," Aven answered. Rena nodded.

"For once I wish you weren't right all the time," she said, sighing. Aven scoffed.

"You would be surprised at how often I am wrong, Rena," she said.

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"When have you been wrong?" Rena asked.

"Well, let's see. There have been some big ones, such as I was wrong in trusting Elrich, and then I was wrong in deciding to reveal myself to Arthur… but I thought he was going to die… oh yes, I was wrong about that, as well."

"Well, those are more judgment things. You're hardly ever wrong when it comes to things like facts… in fact, when it comes to magic, you are almost always right."

"I must say, it surprises me how much confidence you have in my abilities, Rena."

"It does not surprise me. You are my mentor; my best friend. What did you expect?" Aven felt a surge of happiness at Rena's words.

She made sure to remember them the next day.

* * *

The princess had been found. Aven Vyman, the "lost princess of Kierian", had been hiding in Camelot the whole time.

Or so thought the whole of both Kierian and Camelot.

She now faced Camelot's court, not to mention the kings of both kingdoms, and… her mother.

Terrifying to the sorceress; it really was.

Aven wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. She had missed her father, but apart from him, the whole court seemed to hate her.

And her father was mentally ill.

Not much of a morale booster.

No one looked at Aven with more contempt than her mother, Felicitia. Aven breathed in deeply as her mother approached her.

"Well, Aven?" she asked. To Aven, it sounded like she was hissing. For a moment, Aven wanted to compare Felicitia to the Medusa woman she had read about in a book about Greek myths.

"I… I want to give my deepest apologies for abandoning my home," Aven murmured. Her voice swept over the court, and the look of hurt in her eyes seemed to soften some of the people in the room. "I never meant for… I mean, I…" Aven sighed. She knew what was expected of her now. "What I did was foolish and irresponsible. I can only hope that the people of Kierian can find it in their hearts to forgive me," she said. After an afterthought, she added, "The people of Camelot, as well."

Aven's father looked at her with approval. His eyes were glazed as they had been ever since he had been diagnosed with a mental illness caused by old age. (Which was odd, because Jonathan wasn't even that old.) For a moment, though, Aven thought she saw something different. She knew it was too much to hope for, but for a moment, her father was the sharp, quick-witted man he had once been to her and the whole kingdom.

It had probably just been her imagination.

Just as Aven had decided this, the doors to the throne room burst open to reveal Arthur, Merlin, River, and Xander, all staring at the sight in front of them in shock.

"Aven…" Arthur murmured softly.

"Oh, Aven," Merlin whispered sadly, even quieter than Arthur had been. Xander sighed miserably, and River couldn't do anything but look at Aven, still in shock. Aven looked at the floor, and could only barely muster a sad whisper.

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

**SPELLS:**

-verwyder mobiliteit – remove mobility

-herstel mobiliteit – restore mobility


	16. Oxygen

_A/N: I still don't own Merlin, people! But thank you to the reviewers who really make it worth it! I really do appreciate feedback and feel free to message me with questions!_

_I don't own the song "Oxygen" by Colbie Calliat, either. Just putting that out there._

_

* * *

_

**16. Oxygen**

Rena and Aven stood side by side as the knights of Kierian were preparing to leave.

"I… I don't know what I'm going to do without being able to talk to you every day, Aven," Rena said. Aven sighed.

"This is not a goodbye, Rena. At least, not for long, I promise you that," Aven said.

"You are like a sister to me, Aven. I'm going to miss you," Rena said. She smiled sadly and hugged Aven tightly. As Aven pulled away, she looked down sadly.

"I have another goodbye to complete before I leave," she explained. Rena smiled softly.

"Go get him," she said. Aven rolled her eyes, but wasn't sure how she was going to stay sane without having Rena around to tease her meaninglessly about these things.

Aven walked through the hallways, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible.

Not that it mattered anymore.

Finding the door that read "Court Physician", Aven knocked twice on it and was greeted by Merlin opening the door with a somewhat pained expression on his face.

"Aven-"

"I'm sorry," she blurted out.

"For what?"

"I made a stupid decision on a whim and that is why I was found out," Aven said.

"…It's not your fault," Merlin tried. Aven rolled her eyes.

"Yes, it is. I…" Aven sighed. "I just really don't know what to say right now. Actually, I just wanted to say goodbye."

"I just… can't believe you're leaving," Merlin said.

"You have no idea how much I wish I was not," Aven said. _I actually do, because I know _I _wish you weren't more than you do_, Merlin thought. "Merlin… if I could just…"

"Aven!" The princess turned around upon hearing her mother's voice. It was only then that she realized how close she and Merlin were standing. Also that Merlin was holding her right hand.

This must have looked _really good_ to her mother. Yes, the sarcasm was heavy there.

"Come, Aven, we are leaving," Felicitia instructed. Aven sighed dejectedly.

"Yes, milady," she called. To Merlin, she whispered, "I'll miss you. And I'll do everything in my power to see you and Rena again as soon as possible." Merlin didn't answer. Instead he just brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently. As he did so, his eyes flashed gold for a brief second. Aven took her bottom lip in her teeth nervously and looked at him sadly from underneath her eyelashes.

"As soon as possible," she said quietly. Merlin released her hand slowly. "Tell Gaius I said thank you for everything," she said as she walked away from him. Merlin kept his gaze on her retreating figure until she was completely out of sight.

Camelot just wouldn't be the same without Aven.

As Aven and her mother made their way to the horses, Aven's hearing picked up as she passed her father and Uther discussing something… something that obviously involved her, as she heard her name more than once being mentioned.

"I cannot help but wonder what made Aven stay in Camelot," Uther said, looking at the princess. "I wonder if perhaps it was… my son."

"I thought we agreed she ran away from her arranged marriage," Jonathan said. He still had a fog over his mind, but he remembered almost everything about his beloved daughter with the utmost clarity.

"She may have, but she revealed herself to him before he left," Uther reminded Jonathan.

"Aven sometimes lets guilt eat away at her. Perhaps she felt she had unfinished business with Arthur," Jonathan said. Uther nodded, contemplating Jonathan's words.

"I feel maybe you and I should discuss the possibility of re-instating your daughter's marriage to my son," Uther said. Once again, the fog was too thick over Jonathan's mind to think about his daughter and protest.

"Absolutely. We should."

* * *

"It is a death sentence."

Aven sat on her bed, the weather outside her window reflecting her own mood. It was gray, windy, and raining heavily. She was alone in her chambers.

She looked in a hand mirror, and saw a ghost of the woman she had once been. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. Her hair, which had once been shining and full of caramel, chestnut and chocolate-brown highlights, was limp and pathetic.

Like the way she felt.

Aven had felt like she'd had more power over the world when she was living on her own than when she was a princess.

Which was, she decided, just wrong.

She had heard her father discussing with his advisor, and found out that he'd been corresponding with Uther Pendragon, and that talks had sprung up of setting up her and Arthur's arranged marriage again. And she knew that if she married Arthur… that could only mean one thing for her.

Her mother was going to kill her.

Aven almost couldn't believe that her marriage to Arthur was Uther's priority. The Druids had been laying low, but they were still a threat. Of course, he didn't know that, so she sort of understood.

As Aven stared out the window aimlessly, she thought of the three people she wanted to see most. Rena, Xander, and Merlin.

They were all back in Camelot.

She missed having Rena, her best friend, to talk to. Whether they were actually trying to be serious or joking as friends will, she enjoyed her company no matter what.

She missed seeing Xander. It was torture without his brotherly assistance these last few years. He'd been the only sort of love and care she'd known. She did believe in brother-sisterly love, just not romantic love.

And she missed Merlin. She missed the way his eyes lit up when he smiled or when she was showing him some new magic trick. She was always amused at how magic that had seemed simple to her was amazing and surprising to him.

She even missed the strangest little things about the way her life had been in Camelot. It was always strange sleeping in her old four-poster canopy bed with the silk curtains instead of the creaky bed she'd had back in Camelot.

_There must be something wrong with me, _she thought. _It's really not healthy to spend all day cooped up in my room, I suppose. I'm going to have mental issues like my father if I don't stop this._

_Well, at this rate, I'm going to die anyway. The only good thing about this is I heard my father tell his advisor to tell Uther we're coming to Camelot. When, I don't know, but as long as I can see my brother and friends, I'll be alright._

* * *

Merlin had heard that Aven was coming to Camelot within the week. As glad as he was to be able to see her again, he felt a little weird about it. No longer was she Aven, the girl from the forest with the amazing brown eyes and spitfire personality.

Now she was Aven, Princess of Kierian. She was Aven, the princess who was engaged to Arthur, yet again.

She was Princess Aven… and she was off-limits to the likes of him. He shouldn't be talking to her unless he was making himself useful and serving her.

He shouldn't be caught looking at her under any circumstances.

He shouldn't be thinking about her, and wondering what it would be like if she wasn't royalty… if their lives were normal and they could just be _normal _friends…

Not friends whose bond had been formed over an illegal secret they both shared.

"Merlin?" Merlin looked up to see Rena standing in his doorway. "Gaius let me in," she explained. "Are you alright?"

"I'm… fine," Merlin said, shrugging his shoulders.

"That is the biggest lie I have ever heard," Rena said. "What's troubling you?"

"Just… how different it's going to be now that Aven's a princess. I can't talk to her without adding a "milady" at the end of every sentence," Merlin said.

"You don't call me "milady". In fact, I'm pretty sure Aven would give you a black eye if you even _thought_ about calling her "milady" to her face," Rena said. Merlin laughed.

"Yeah, she probably would." Merlin was quiet for a minute. "Rena?"

"Hmm?"

"If… _when_… Aven marries Arthur, will she become Queen of Camelot?" Merlin asked. Rena shook her head.

"No, I don't think so. I think Arthur will become King of Kierian, which in my opinion is just stupid. I mean, yes, my uncle probably has a few good years on him still… but Arthur is his only heir. Of course, Aven's the only heir to Kierian, and with her father being… mentally incompetent…" Rena sighed. "This whole thing is just pointless!" she exclaimed angrily. "My arranged marriage, Aven's arranged marriage…" Rena trailed off and sighed sadly.

Merlin decided that it didn't matter that Aven was marrying Arthur. Arthur may be a prat, but there were probably worse princes she could marry. If she was going to be forced to marry, it might as well be to Arthur. He would grow to be a great king…

And somewhere in his heart Merlin knew Aven would be an equally great queen.

Besides, it wasn't as though Merlin could ever marry her…

_N-n-not that I _want_ to marry her, of course. She's just a good friend, and… I don't like seeing her unhappy like this, _Merlin tried to convince himself.

* * *

"_I don't know about this, Alvarr," Elrich said. Alvarr rubbed his temples in an aggravated way._

"_Elrich, I've told you time and time again. This is revenge for her killing you! It's the perfect time… we're never going to get an opportunity like this again!" Alvarr was once again speaking to Elrich in his dreams._

"_But this is dark magic… not to mention it'll take a lot of energy," Elrich said. Alvarr had the urge to tell him that he was dead, so why should he need energy. "I meant it would take a lot of energy from _you. _You'd be the one casting the spell. I'm dead," Elrich said, as though he was reading Alvarr's thoughts._

"_Do you really want to back out of this now, Elrich?" Alvarr asked._

"_I want revenge against that evil woman, yes, but… maybe this is not the way to go about it," Elrich said._

"_You are second-guessing me."_

"_I did not say that."_

"_You are second-guessing my plan."_

"_I did not say that either. I just don't know if I agree with your plan. It seems so… sinister. I've never really thought of myself like that. Also, it seems sort of weird, what you want me to do."_

"_Elrich, the way I see it, you don't have a choice," Alvarr said. Elrich sighed._

"_Fine, then. But if Aven attacks while the spell is holding out, you'll be weak and she will kill you, as well."_

"_What about you? Is there no consequence for you?" Alvarr asked._

"_I'm dead, Alvarr, remember? But if she attacks while your little plan is in motion, we will both be affected. You will die, and since you are using me, I will be sentenced to eternal damnation," Elrich said, narrowing his eyes._

"_Sounds pleasant."_

"_Doesn't it just?" Elrich said, rolling his eyes._

"_So you'll do it?" Alvarr asked. Elrich nodded his head._

"_I'll do it… but I still don't like it."_

"_I never said you had to. This is about revenge," Alvarr said. "Besides, it's not as though we're going to kill her. We'll just drive her completely insane, and without her, our enemies stand no chance. Alright, well... maybe we'll kill her. If the little witch proves to be too much of a problem." Elrich grinned at this._

"_I hate to say it, but I'm really warming up to this plan," he said. Alvarr smirked._

_"I thought you might."_


	17. Permanent December

_A/N: Next chapter... is big. Just wait. :)_

_I still don't own Merlin, or "Permanent December" by Miley Cyrus. I know, shame on me for using one of her songs. But for my title songs, the lyrics have to fit. Also they go in alphabetical order. :)_

_Reviews? Comments? Suggestions? They're all appreciated!_

_

* * *

_

**17. Permanent December**

The minute she heard Aven was back in Camelot, Rena had taken off full-speed down the hallways.

She knew that it was only natural for Aven to be placed not four rooms away from Arthur's, so she had gotten to her friend in just seven minutes upon her arrival.

"It's about time you showed your face 'round here again." Aven turned to see a smiling Rena standing in her doorway.

"It is good to see you happy again," Aven said.

"I am about as happy as I can be, under the circumstances," Rena said. "Did you hear what they have planned for the two of us?"

"You mean other than the destruction of our lives as we know them? No."

"We are having a double wedding," Rena said. "In two weeks." Aven groaned.

"Oy." Rena raised an eyebrow.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"From now on, I don't want to hear the words "marriage", "wedding", or… dare I say it… "love" come out of your mouth," Aven said. Rena sighed.

"What are we going to do, Ave?"

"I always found it surprising at how you think I have all the answers."

"You're supposed to, aren't you?" Rena asked. Aven rolled her eyes.

"Only sometimes." Rena nodded, and both women were quiet for a minute.

"You should go see Merlin," Rena suddenly said. "He has missed having you around." Aven nodded.

"I will go later tonight, when I don't have twenty guards breathing down my neck, making sure I do not try to run away again," she said. "In all honesty, I have missed him, as well."

"Good. Oh, and…" Rena made her way to leave, but turned back with an afterthought. "…You are coming to the ball tonight, yes?"

"I have no choice," Aven said simply. "No matter how small an ordeal it is meant to be, I must be there." Rena nodded.

"So must I, even though the _real _event is in a week. Stay by me, alright?"

"Depends on how much you drink." Rena rolled her eyes at Aven's comment and left with a simple flick of the hand as a wave. Aven smirked inwardly and sat down on her bed. She was alone again.

Closing her eyes, she began to drift back into her memories…

_Aven opened her eyes, except she did not see her room in the castle when she did so. She was standing in a chasm of blackness. She was wearing a white dress, which made her think of her wedding, which made her panic inwardly._

_She noticed a soft violet glow emanating from her._

_"You are troubled and confused," said a voice from behind her. She turned around to see… Elrich?_

_"What are you doing?" she whispered. "Why am I here?" Elrich took a step towards her, and she took a step back. Elrich chuckled softly. He was also glowing, except he was radiating a blue-green color._

_"You are afraid of me, love? Don't be," he told her._

_"I killed you," Aven said coldly._

_"It was an accident, and you regret it. That is good enough for me," Elrich said, shrugging._

_"It cannot possibly be," Aven said._

_"Avi, I've had two years to think about this. To think about you. Actually, I have done very little, other than thinking about you," Elrich said. Aven had let him get much closer._

_"I…" she stammered. "I… I don't understand. What are you doing?" she asked again._

_"I want to ask your forgiveness. What I did to you was wrong. I really did care about you, Avi, much more than you've led yourself to believe." Aven cocked her head slightly, not quite sure whether Elrich was to be trusted._

_"But I _killed_ you."_

_"I thought we had gotten past that, Avi."_

_"Maybe _you_have. That was the first time I had killed someone… and… it was…" Aven was having somewhat of a breakdown. Elrich took the opportunity to move closer to her._

_"Avi? Love, listen to me, I'm so sorry," he murmured. He took her chin in his hand so she had to look into his eyes. "I am _so_sorry," he whispered. With that, he brought his lips down to meet Aven's and kissed her._

* * *

Rena kept looking at the entrance to the ballroom expectantly, waiting for Aven to show up. Eventually, a very rushed-looking dark haired princess made her way into the ballroom. Rena smiled to herself as she saw Aven wearing the blue dress she had given her.

"Did I miss anything?" Aven asked, hardly any emotion to her voice.

"No, not really. Come on, Aven, you've been to these things before. You know that hardly anything ever happens."

"That is not the way I hear they do it in Camelot," Aven muttered. Rena let out a breathy laugh.

"You have a point. Have to talked to Merlin yet?" Rena asked.

"What?" Aven asked. Then a look of realization came across her face. "Oh, Merlin, yes… it seems to have slipped my mind. I'll go talk to him… later." Rena frowned. It wasn't like Aven to be forgetful, unless her mind was very heavily occupied with something else.

"Alright…" Rena said, her voice somewhat wary. Aven seemed to have picked up on this.

"Something wrong, Rena?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Rena said. "Nothing wrong with _me_, anyways. Aven, are you feeling alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Aven said. "Don't worry about me."

From across the room, Merlin noticed Aven and Rena talking, while Rena's face was one of concern. It was a little unnerving to him to see Aven looking so regal in her ice blue dress… and he didn't know why. He supposed he was still getting used to thinking of her as _Princess_ Aven…

Who he really shouldn't be thinking about in the first place…

He ignored his better judgment and went over to where Rena and Aven were still talking. Rena smiled upon seeing him, but Aven's face remained completely indifferent. And that was sort of weird, because even though Merlin had never seen Aven actually smile… usually she gave him _some _sort of welcoming facial expression. In fact, she looked rather stiff and uncomfortable.

_She's probably just stressed and worried, _he thought to himself.

"Aven?" he asked, sending her a small smile. She raised an eyebrow and gave him one of her trademark sarcastic looks. Only this time, it didn't look as friendly as her previous ones.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering… if maybe later we could-" Merlin stopped mid-sentence as Aven's eyes suddenly flashed. It wasn't a big flash, but it was enough for him to notice it.

"If… never mind," Merlin said. He turned to leave, but Aven suddenly reached out and grabbed his hand. He had to admit he was a little surprised… he was certain she would not have done this five minutes ago.

"No, what were you going to say?" she asked, genuinely curious. She didn't look so stiff anymore, in fact, her eyes were now much warmer and inviting than they had been when he'd first come over. It was then that her eyes had seemed so cold and unwelcoming.

"Just… I… really, it doesn't matter," Merlin said, stammering slightly. Aven nodded and released his hand. It wasn't until she had that Merlin realized he wished she'd held on for just a moment or so longer.

"Alright," Aven murmured. "But if you want to talk to me, you know where to find me," she said, sending him a small wink. That was the code that Merlin, Rena, and Aven shared whenever they wanted to discuss magic.

"I do," Merlin said, grinning. Aven winced at the "I do". _Damn this wedding_, she thought. _It's clouding up my mind every which-way._ Her eyes flashed a little bit again.

"Well… I've been here for ten minutes, which I hope is good enough for Uther. I need to sleep, so, goodnight," Aven said. Rena nodded as Aven quickly turned on her heel and left the room, unnoticed for the most part.

Rena smirked, expecting Aven to follow Merlin somewhere or another. _If she wasn't getting married…_ Rena thought. Suddenly, her attention was diverted elsewhere.

_And now I must go see a certain knight, _she thought, trying not to blush.

"Xander?"

* * *

Aven lay down on her bed, not sure what to make of the night. She had not even tried to follow Merlin so she could talk to him, and she wasn't sure why.

She wanted to talk to him, didn't she?

Of course she did.

It was as though some other force had made her go straight to her chambers without a second thought.

_Some other force…_

With this realization, Aven opened the lock to her small, private, off-limits-to-anyone-but-her trunk. She found some notes she'd taken from Merlin's magic book. There was one that intrigued her particularly.

_It is believed that spirits of the deceased may enter bodies of the living orally, making hosts of the living human. There is little the host can do except extract this spirit orally._

That was all the note read. There was nothing on _how_ to extract spirits orally…

Aven remembered how her last memory of her otherworldly encounter with Elrich was him kissing her. It wasn't passionate or caring, but… it seemed forced.

She gasped, and suddenly her eyes flashed again. She dropped the notes and put them away, not remembering why she was holding them. They suddenly seemed to burn her hands, and she locked her trunk up again as quickly as she could. She turned around and tried to regain control of what was happening to her.

Hastily, she grabbed one of the chairs in her room and held onto it tightly as her mind spun in a thousand different directions.

_Help me! _She cried without using any words. _Help me…_

Slowly, Elrich, who had taken over Aven's body, willed his puppet to move towards her bed.

_Sleep…_whispered Elrich's voice inside her head. _Sleep well, love. You never know when it's going to be your last night breathing._

With that, Aven's eyes flashed again, and she only had a moment of controlling herself before she began to fall unconscious.

* * *

After a long, long time of talking with Xander, Rena had a minute to reflect on what had happened at the "celebration".

What? It wasn't weird that she was spending more and more time with Xander. He was nice, and he was Aven's half-brother, and… and… well, he sure was handsome.

Anyway, after pulling herself away from Xander, Rena became more focused on what Aven had been doing. What was with her eyes flashing? She was acting as though she had two different personalities. One minute she was completely cold towards Merlin, the next she was his friend… Rena didn't know what to make of the situation.

She was certain Merlin had seen something, as well. He had been looking at Aven… differently…

Wait a minute… maybe it wasn't Aven's double personality that had Merlin looking at her…

Just as Rena began to contemplate the possibilities of this, she heard what sounded like Aven's voice in her head.

_Help me! _The voice cried. _Help me…_It was begging desperately, and it sounded as though it was losing energy quickly. Rena figured she was just imagining it… but… she wanted to be on the safe side. Quickly, she ran to Aven's room. Opening the door, she found her friend asleep. There was no one else in the room… everything seemed to be in order…

_I must have been imagining it, _Rena thought. She left the room and walked back to her own, wondering what the hell had happened.

Not only in her own mind, but in Aven's as well.


	18. The Only Exception

_A/N: All righty, people! This is the edited version of this chapter. The first one was... not that great. I wanted it to be more epic, so I took some of my beta-reader's advice and changed some bits. (She didn't actually become my beat until chapter 21.) I kept the general idea the same, but some things have been fixed. So, anyone wanna **review** and tell me how I did?..._

_I don't own Merlin, or "The Only Exception" by Paramore. The lyrics in the last part of this chapter are for the song "The Only Exception" as well. Just a quick fun-fact: this is the only chapter that hasn't been in alphabetical order, yet another reason why it's called "The Only Exception". (Humor me, here, all right?)_

_In advance (so I don't ruin the effect of the ending) here are the spells:  
__Uittreskel van die oortollige vloeistof – _remove the excess liquid  
_Herstel lug – _restore air

* * *

**18. The Only Exception**

Aven gripped the side of her bathtub as though letting go would kill her.

Actually, it just might.

She was standing next to the tub of warm water, fighting Elrich's undead mind, which was telling her to get in. And she knew once she got in…

It wouldn't be hard to drown.

Aven still had all her clothing on; it seemed Elrich had just wanted to get her killed as quickly as possible.

Aven's breath was coming out in short pants, her energy drained from resisting the spirit. Eventually, she realized she could not fight it anymore, and she lowered herself into the water. She still held onto the sides of the tub; one hand on each side. She felt herself sliding slowly into the water, getting deeper and deeper with every breath.

_Don't panic, _she told herself. _Keep a cool head… just… try to… resist…_

Aven's control over her body was diminishing. Mustering all of her strength, she took a deep breath and let out a scream before her head became completely submerged.

* * *

As Merlin passed by Aven's chambers, he could have sworn he heard a pained scream coming from inside the room. He wasn't sure whether he should go in or not. But if something happened to Aven and he didn't do anything about it…

He didn't think he'd be able to forgive himself.

Opening the door, he called "Aven?" unsurely. He didn't get a reply. But he noticed the curtain that guarded her washbasin was slightly askew. He felt his palms get sweaty out of fear. What if it had been nothing, and Aven was bathing, and…

He didn't want to think about what would happen after that.

But then he thought of Aven in trouble… and he didn't know what happened…

Summoning all of his courage (knowing he'd need it ALL if he was indeed wrong,) Merlin removed the curtain, and all he saw was a pair of hands gripping the sides of the tub loosely. On the surface of the water, he could see a mass of dark hair floating. He could only think the worst, and for a minute was panicked. He reached in and wrapped an arm around Aven's waist, and pulled her out.

He was really surprised she was in her clothes – was she really that worried someone would walk in? – but he was glad she was in fact clothed. He tried not to picture the situation if she was not.

Gently, Merlin placed the unconscious Aven on the ground. Her lips were somewhat blue and her skin had gone white.

"_Uittreskel van die oortollige vloeistof_, "Merlin said, his voice breathy and worried. "_Herstel lug_." He hoped that the two spells combined would be enough to revive Aven.

Merlin breathed a little sigh of relief as he saw Aven's chest begin to rise and fall. She coughed a little, then suddenly jerked upright and started breathing heavily. She placed a hand over her heart, making sure she was really feeling it beat.

"Aven, what happened?" Merlin asked. Aven held up a finger as she continued breathing. She couldn't remember when oxygen had felt so good.

"I…" She suddenly couldn't get any more words out.

"Aven, is something wrong?" Merlin asked. Aven's eyes widened and flashed again. She grabbed Merlin's shoulders with a panicked look in her eyes.

"Merlin… I…" _You will not say a word, _Elrich whispered inside her head. _He will not know._ Elrich willed Aven to release Merlin, and quickly she stood up and looked away.

"Nothing is wrong," she muttered. "Can you just leave, please?" She caught sight of herself in the mirror. _I look like a drowned rat standing here in this dress. Not to mention the water adds about ten pounds to it._

"…Alright," Merlin said. He left, heading straight for Gaius's chambers. He had some research he needed to do regarding Aven's mood swings, flashing eyes, and general strange behavior.

He just hoped, for once, that his suspicions were wrong.

* * *

"Gaius? What do you know about possessing people?" Merlin asked. Gaius turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it's certainly not something I'd advise trying..."

"No, I mean… if someone was possessed by someone else, how would you know?" Merlin asked.

"Well, to possess someone is a very dark and complicated sort of magic. You would have to be an experienced magician to do it. It also requires a large amount of power, so often one source will harbor the power and magic while another is actually doing the possessing. Why do you ask? Do you believe someone in Camelot is being-"

"No!" Merlin said quickly. "I was just… curious. Really." Gaius's eyebrow went higher.

"Merlin…"

"I promise, Gaius, I was really just wondering." And that was the truth.

Merlin was really wondering how the hell he could extract who – or _what_ever – was possessing Aven.

That night, in his room, he was searching through his magic book, and came across a note that Aven had marked when she was leafing through it. That was back when she had been Avi to everyone else. It seemed like so long ago to Merlin.

He found something about spirits being able to enter the body orally. Merlin suddenly slammed the book shut. He thought hard about who would want to do something like that to Aven.

No one really sprang to mind, until he remembered something he'd talked to Aven about.

_"I have a, um, history with the Druids. When I first left Kierian, I was sixteen, and I was scared to be living on my own. I met a Druid named Elrich, and he took me to their camp with him. Once they found out I was magic, they seemed… overjoyed to have me there. They could tell how powerful I was. Nothing compared to you, of course, but still… anyway, Elrich took me under his wing. He trained me for a year or so. I was fine with using my powers, as long as they weren't used for…"_

_"Evil?"_

_"Exactly."_

Elrich. He was the only one Merlin could think of that would possibly want to hurt Aven. Now he just had to figure out how to get rid of him once and for all.

* * *

"Damn that boy!" Alvarr swore as he banged his fist on a table. He was sitting alone in his tent, angrily harboring the magic that Elrich was using to possess Aven. Elrich had failed in his first attempt to kill Aven. She had been saved from drowning by that idiot-servant-boy-by-day-all-powerful-warlock-by-night Merlin.

If Alvarr didn't keep an eye out, Merlin might just ruin all his plans.

And he needed Aven dead.

Fast.

His magic wouldn't hold out for much longer. In fact, it had just reached its peak. It was all downhill from where he was. Elrich's hold on Aven would begin to slip away… so the dead warlock would need to act quickly.

* * *

Aven was walking with Rena in the courtyard. For a few moments, she could be herself. Sometimes Elrich would loosen his hold on her, as long as she didn't try to say anything about being possessed to Merlin or Rena. After all, they were the only ones who could really help her.

"So, have the castle dressmakers ambushed you yet?" Rena asked.

"No, not yet. I am guessing they got to you, though?" Aven inquired. Rena nodded.

"God, this wedding is creeping up on us. Are you feeling alright?" Rena asked. "You look a little pale. And your eyes have dark circles under them. You seem as though you're one night's lost sleep away from big, bloodshot eyes," Rena said.

"I know… I have not been sleeping well as of late," Aven said. Rena nodded.

"Nerves?" she asked.

"…You could say that, I suppose," Aven murmured.

"Do you ever think we will be able to have semi-normal lives?" Rena asked, sighing a little. Aven barely had to think about it before shaking her head regretfully.

"No," she answered honestly.

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Rena murmured. "I think you're probably right."

"I hate to use the "D" word…" Aven began. "But I have a feeling it is just our _destiny_."

She really couldn't resist rolling her eyes on that last part.

* * *

_When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to re-assemble it._

Aven winced as she tried to make her way over to her trunk which held all of her magic notes. Every time she touched them, it hurt her. She was also afraid that if she held them for too long, Elrich would make her run right to Uther and tell him that the magic notes were hers, and that she was a sorceress.

Somehow, she didn't see that ending well.

So, all Aven could do was sit in her room, and pray that Elrich had enough courtesy to make her death as quick and as painless and possible.

_And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget… and that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist._

Although, his last attempt had been to drown her, so she didn't have too much hope for even a calm death. By now, she had mostly accepted the fact that she was probably going to die. She decided to go talk to Rena again, just in case, and let her know how much she appreciated her friendship and everything she had done for her.

And then maybe she would go see Merlin.

_Darling, you – are – the only exception. You – are – the only exception. You –are – the only exception. You – are – the only exception._

On her way to Rena's chambers, Aven thought she heard someone following her. She dismissed it as stress nerves from what was happening and continued on.

As she was about to round the corner which would lead her into the hallway where Rena's chambers were located, an arm reached out and grabbed her. Her stomach did a back flip, fearing the very worst was about to happen to her. She was about to start struggling, but stopped when she looked up into the face of the person who had grabbed her. She was shocked at whose eyes she was staring into.

Merlin.

_Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone… or keep a straight face._

"I'm sorry, Aven," he whispered.

"Wait, w-what are you-"

"I'm going to transfer the spirit from you to me," Merlin said quickly. With that, he gave her an apologetic look as he pinned her against the wall and pressed his lips to hers.

_And I've always lived like this keeping a comfortable… distance. And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness. 'Cause none of it was ever worth the risk, well…_

Aven couldn't even react. She couldn't think straight. What kind of plan was this? All it would do was transfer Elrich's spirit from her body into Merlin's... and Aven didn't want that. Elrich wouldn't be so careful in killing Merlin, and she was scared for him. In fact, she was about to start panicking and resisting what he was doing, but she found that she couldn't move. Elrich's spirit was fighting with everything it had, rendering Aven helpless.

All of a sudden, a shockwave went through Aven's body. Elrich's spirit was leaving her. She felt grateful to Merlin, who was still kissing her, but was now especially afraid for him.

_You – are – the only exception. You – are – the only exception. You – are – the only exception. You – are – the only exception._

The minute Merlin felt Aven react to Elrich's spirit leaving her body, Merlin pulled away. He smiled to himself. He'd placed a protective spell over himself, and Elrich's ghostly form wasn't able to enter Merlin. He watched as a ghostly green mist escaped Aven's lips. It expanded, growing brighter and brighter. Eventually, it exploded, and both Merlin and Aven knew that Elrich was gone for good.

Aven breathed heavily as she leaned her head on Merlin's shoulder, her arms around his neck. She was exhausted from fighting Elrich this whole time… and she hadn't been able to breathe when Merlin was kissing her. She looked up at her savior, her eyes grateful but at the same time apologetic and confused.

_I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here. I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up… leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream, oh…_

"You… protected yourself?" she asked. Merlin nodded. "Did you know for certain that it would work?"

"No. I wasn't positive," Merlin said.

"Then…" Aven cocked her head slightly. "Then why did you… I mean, if Elrich had possessed you…"

"You are too valuable for me to lose," Merlin said quietly. A look of understanding came over Aven's face.

_You – are – the only exception. You – are – the only exception. You – are – the only exception. You… are… the only exception…_

"Oh, I see. Because of my destiny and all?" she asked. Merlin sighed. She really did not get what he was trying to tell her.

"No, Aven… you're too valuable _to me_." Aven looked down, blinking unsurely. She looked back up at him.

"May I try something?" she asked softly. "Just to… see?" Merlin nodded, not sure what the look in Aven's dark eyes meant. Taking a deep breath, Aven leaned in to Merlin, tightening her arms around his neck.

_You – are – the only exception. You – are the only exception. You – are – the only exception. You are the only exception… _

Placing his hands nervously on her waist, Merlin met Aven halfway and kissed her. Their kiss was real this time; not an attempt to rid Aven's body of a parasitic spirit. A small fire sparked in Aven that she didn't think had been there befoe. The warmth had started in her stomach and slowly began to flow through to the rest of her body as she kissed Merlin with more passion than she had thought possible. This sparked the magic that became increasingly evident between the two. Aven prayed more than ever that no one found them.

Wrapped in Merlin's embrace, the world seemed to fade away around her. Aven was not the Princess of Kierian, she was _Merlin's _Aven.

_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing._

Reluctantly, Merlin pulled away. He knew he should not have done that. Aven sighed.

"I… I really… um, I need to go. But, thank you, Merlin," she said, running her hands down his arms as she turned to go.

As Merlin watched her leave, Aven could not resist looking over her shoulder and doing something Merlin thought he might never see her do.

She turned and looked at him, her eyes bright…

And she smiled.

_And I'm on my way to believing…_


	19. Quiet

A/N: So, after that last chapter, which was so well-reviewed, this is sort of a filler chapter. But there's sort of a sad part I wrote in there. I did it in the middle of math, so... hopefully it's ok!

_I don't own Merlin, but would kill to. (No, really. I would.) I also don't own "Quiet" by Demi Lovato._

_

* * *

_

**19. Quiet**

"Are you alright?" Rena asked Aven as the two women sat in the latter's chambers.

"…Yes."

"You're awfully quiet. It's not really like you. Are you sure you're alright?"

"…Sure." Rena raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, it's time you spilled it. What happened? Why are you being like this?"

"Wha – nothing happened!" Aven said defensively.

"Then why are you acting so… off?" Rena asked. Aven sighed.

"I made a mistake," she said. "A really, really, really _stupid _one." Rena's expression became one of sympathy.

"We all do things like that, Aven. What did you do?"

"Something really, really, really, really, _really_ bad. But… you know what? I think it was the best damn mistake I ever made," Aven said. She bit her lip to keep from smiling. All of a sudden she noticed Rena gaping at her.

"Oh… oh my God. Aven, what did you do?" she asked frantically.

"What do you mean?"

"I _mean_ you are blushing, Aven! I've never seen you blush before. I actually didn't even know you _could_. I just sort of figured it was physically impossible for the heat to rise to your cheeks like that. But… what did you do? And why was it such a damn good mistake?" Rena asked. Aven rolled her eyes.

"First of all, I am _not _blushing. It's just… warm in here."

"You were complaining about the cold this morning."

"Well, that was this morning."

"You complained again five minutes ago." Aven groaned.

"Rena…"

"Just tell me what you did!" Rena said, half-shouting. She'd grown extremely impatient with Aven.

"I…" Aven lowered her voice to a soft whisper, and she looked at the ground, feeling guilty. "I kissed… I kissed _Merlin_, and-"

"WHAT?" Rena yelled. Aven winced.

"And _that _is why I did not want to tell you," she said.

"How… what…"

"Alright, in my defense, _he _kissed _me_… first. Then _I _kissed _him_… so…"

"SO YOU THINK THAT MAKES IT OKAY?"

"…No." Aven had been expecting this more-than-dramatic reaction from Rena. She knew that (hopefully) it would only take a few minutes for her friend to calm down.

"WELL IT _DOESN'T_!" Aven rolled her eyes. _Did I not just say I knew that didn't make it okay?_

"I know, Rena."

"What possessed you to kiss him, anyway?" Rena asked, her voice softer now.

"Bad judgment?" Rena frowned at this. "What?"

"You really regret kissing him that much?" Rena asked, looking a little saddened by this.

"No… I mean… ugh, _no_," Aven said, looking depressed that she had to admit this. "Not _that_ much. Well… I only _really _regret kissing him because…"

"Arthur?" Rena asked knowingly. Aven nodded.

"If I was Avi right now, it would be okay. I would probably feel a little freaked out, but… I feel really guilty right now because of Arthur and what-not."

"So what are you going to tell Merlin?" Rena asked. Aven gave her a blank look. "You _are _planning on talking to him about this, aren't you?" Aven sighed again.

"I am not sure. I was thinking I would avoid him for as long as I can… and if worst comes to worst, I'll talk to him. But what would I say? I have not even sorted out my own feelings yet, much less had time to take _his_ into account. Does he regret it like I do?"

_Oh, Aven, if only you knew, _Merlin thought from outside of her chamber doors. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on Aven and Rena's conversation, but he figured if Aven was going to tell anyone about what had happened, it would be Rena. And he _had _to know what she was thinking.

In all honesty, he regretted it, but only for one reason. And it was the same reason that Aven regretted it.

She was marrying Arthur. And kissing her had been wrong in so many ways. But it had felt so much more right than wrong. And surely that accounted for something…

Wait, they were talking again.

"You know what? I do not think you _honestly _regret it," Rena said, smirking. Aven rolled her eyes.

"It is only the "I have to marry Arthur" thing that makes me upset about it," she said.

"So… if you did not have to marry Arthur… then?..."

"…Then I would give anything to do it again." With that, Merlin knew he had heard all he needed to. He walked away from Aven's door, smiling as he never had before.

* * *

So far, Aven's Operation: Avoid Merlin was going pretty well. Her handmaiden, Jayva, who was a pretty young thing at fifteen, would alert her if Merlin was near her chambers. Jayva didn't ask Aven why she asked to know if Merlin got too close for comfort, figuring it was on a need-to-know basis and that, as the future Queen of Camelot's handmaiden, she did not need to know.

Karenna, the head dressmaker, and a handful of other ladies-in-waiting were in Aven's chambers, and as Karenna tightened the corset of Aven's dress, the princess winced.

"I forgot how much I loved these corsets," she said sarcastically, sighing.

"But, my lady, they work so well with your figure," Jayva said, marking down the correct measurements for Aven's shoulders.

"Is this all necessary right now?" Aven asked desperately. Karenna nodded.

"Yes, milady, if we want to have the dress properly tailored in time for your wedding," she said. Jayva sighed wistfully.

"It must be so amazing getting married… and to Arthur Pendragon, no less," she said. Aven gazed at Jayva from her mirror, which she had been forced to face.

"Jayva, trust me, you should be in no rush to get married. The right person will come. You just want to make sure it doesn't happen to late…" Aven said, trailing off. She wanted to add, _As such happened to me_, but of course could not.

Merlin could remember the times he had been heartbroken. There weren't many, but there were definitely a few. And none of them compared to the pain he felt when he entered Aven's chambers; a basket of fresh linens in his hands.

He could see the back of her, and the front of her as a reflection clearly in the mirror. He thought about how in a few days, _Arthur _would be the one to kiss her, and _Arthur _would be the one to marry her… and _Arthur_ didn't even want to.

Merlin heard a small, imaginary _crack_ as Aven turned around and looked at him with such sadness in her brown eyes that it was hard for him to bear. He was certain the crack had been his heart splitting a tiny bit in the middle. Aven was standing not ten meters away from him, on top of a footstool, wearing a long, white wedding dress, complete with a small bouquet of blood-red roses and a veil that went just past her shoulder blades.

The dress had beautiful silver detailing, and the veil was held in place by a thin jeweled headband. The part of the veil that went over Aven's face had been pushed back so it rested on top of the thin band. Then Karenna pushed the front part of the veil over Aven's face, and the to-be bride couldn't stand to look at her would-be lover anymore.

Aven winced as the corset was tightened yet again. The dark-haired girl held her breath and looked at Merlin in the mirror. She wanted to ask Karenna, Jayva, and the other ladies-in-waiting if she could have a moment alone, but how would she explain why she wanted Merlin, of all people, to stay?

She couldn't. So she remained quiet, and prayed that the other women in the room were too busy with her dress to notice the pained expression on her face. Merlin saw it, though, as she didn't bother hiding it from him. He felt suddenly sick, as he knew he was the cause of Aven's pain.

Aven cast her eyes downward, feeling the same sickness as Merlin. But while she was expecting her stomach to hurt, it was her heart that was taking the blows. As Aven's back was turned to him and she refused to meet his eyes even in the mirror, Merlin placed the basket of linens on the table by her door and turned to leave.

"Are you alright, my lady?" Jayva asked. "You look very pale all of a sudden."

"I am fine, Jayva, thank you. It is just nerves, I suppose," Aven said, shrugging. But Jayva could see a tear in her mistress's eye. They were building, and she seemed to be the only one who noticed. Jayva liked Princess Aven, and naturally she was confused as to why Aven was crying.

_Happiness? The joy of marriage? _Jayva thought. Those ideas were quickly wiped away when the first tear that rolled down Aven's cheek came from her left eye. Jayva knew that when the first tear came from the right eye, it was from happiness.

But when the first tear came from the left, it was pain.

* * *

Alvarr groaned to himself as he thought of his failure.

Merlin had freed Aven from the control that he and Elrich had previously had over her. She was so close to dying… and then he saved her. Twice.

_Twice!_ He was obviously just as much of a problem as the little witch herself.

Alvarr sighed. It seemed he would have to get his hands dirty this time if he wanted Aven out of the way. Only then could his revolution begin. And if she was not smart enough to join him, well… it was her death, not his.

Obviously, simple murder attempts were not enough. He would have to hit closer to home… find Aven's weakness…

_Rena_. The princess was as good a friend to Aven as there had ever been. If she died, there was no way Aven would be able to focus on stopping him. She would be torn to pieces.

And then a thought struck him. _Merlin_. He had saved Aven from herself more times than Alvarr bothered to count. Surely she must have developed some sort of feelings for him; more than friendly feelings?

And perhaps that would explain the intense magical surge Alvarr had felt just a day or so ago. Yes, and now he could kill two birds with one spell, so to speak.

Merlin and Aven had to die.

* * *

"Can you believe we are actually getting married in a matter of days?" Rena asked forlornly as she looked at her reflection.

"No. No, I cannot," Aven said from behind the changing screen.

"I, for one, am surprised you are even coming tonight," Rena remarked as Aven stepped out from behind the screen.

"Once again… I do not have a choice. This is the last big "celebration" before we are married," Aven said. Rena nodded.

"You look beautiful, anyway," she said, giving Aven the best smile she could muster. Aven was wearing a gown made up of two different shades of purple with small designs in black on it.

"As do you, Rena. Um… you _are _going to wear a wrap over that, right?" Aven asked, motioning to her own chest as she looked at Rena's daringly low-cut green gown. She was almost certain that Rena had done that on purpose, since it looked as though there was cloth that belonged at the top to make the neckline higher.

"No, I do not intend to. This is my last night to show any type of cleavage that is mine and mine alone," Rena said. Aven could have laughed, if only Rena weren't so right about that.

"You have a frightening point," Aven muttered. She sighed. "Well, I suppose it is time to face the music, as they say." Rena nodded.

"Any last words?" she joked. "Shall I tell Merlin you love him?" Aven rolled her eyes and nudged the blonde in the ribs.

"Oh, just come on. And I do not believe in love, you know that," Aven said as she and Rena walked down the hallways.

"You do not believe in love only because you have not seen it. Hell, I've never seen a unicorn, but apparently _those_ exist," Rena said.

"Well, of course _they_ exist. Love, on the other hand… we shall see," Aven said. Rena smirked.

"Oh, yes, we shall."


	20. Realize

_A/N: Still not owning the Merlin, here, people! Or "Realize" by Colbie Callait. If you have any questions or comments concerning the story, feel free to mention them to me when you REVIEW!_

_Also, I just want to mention I am accepting beta-reader requests. :) PM me for more!_

_One last thing. Pictures of how I envision the characters are on my profile. Also on there is Aven's wedding dress, and the ice-blue dress I've mentioned a few times. I'll put up any mentioned dresses on there once they're in the story._

* * *

**20. Realize**

Merlin was standing in the corner of the ballroom, feeling like the biggest idiot in the room. Within the first ten seconds of Aven's entrance, he had managed to make a complete fool of himself.

_Merlin had already had his hands full with empty silver platters and wine goblets. So, of course Aven and Rena _had_ to walk in at that exact moment. And the room went completely and utterly silent._

_God, was Aven beautiful. Merlin had completely lost any sense of the world around him when he looked at her. He had never looked at her in such a way before. Then again, that was before they had kissed, and…_

_He was still getting used to her wearing dresses. This was one of the few times Merlin had seen her without some kind of forest debris on her clothes, skin, or in her hair. He didn't even know that he was staring. Or that after seven seconds, his arms went numb and limp._

_That's right; _everything_ went clattering to the floor. In that complete silence, well… that just amplified the sound ten-fold. Not that it wasn't already extremely loud and distracting… but this just made it worse._

_Merlin thought he saw Aven reach up and stifle a laugh behind her hand, but he wasn't sure. Either way, he felt like a total idiot. Rena had given him a sympathetic look, but that didn't really subdue the embarrassment._

So, he was alone. Not for long, though. After a short while, Gwen came over to join him. Merlin felt extremely sympathetic towards her, finally understanding what it was like to love someone you knew you could never have…

Whoa. Wait a minute.

He did not just say… no, he couldn't have… but…

_Just stop denying it, _he thought to himself. _You… you might be in love with Aven. You care very, very deeply for her, let's leave it at that. You can never be with her, so there's no use thinking those kinds of thoughts about her…_

"Merlin?" It took Merlin a second to register that Gwen was talking to him. "Are you alright?" Merlin shook his head.

"I, erm, don't feel very well. Anyway, how are you?" Merlin asked. Gwen sighed. She didn't know that Merlin knew of her and Arthur's secret attraction to one another.

"I'm fine, for now," she said. Merlin watched her face fall as she saw Arthur with his arm around Aven's waist, standing next to River, whose arm was around Rena's waist. The whole picture was so wrong.

_If the world was just, _Merlin thought, _it would be my arm around Aven, Arthur's arm around Gwen, and… Xander's arm around Rena._

Obviously, it had escaped the attention of very few people the mutual attraction of Aven's brother and Aven's best friend. Aven hadn't said anything, but of course it was as plain as day to her.

"Merlin?" This time it wasn't Gwen's voice calling his name, but Aven's. Merlin had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed Aven and Rena slip away into the crowd. (Rena going to Xander, obviously.) Merlin gulped as he looked into Aven's eyes. This was his first time really talking to her since he'd kissed her. He'd tried going to her chambers a few times, but she'd always been gone exactly at the moment he'd gotten there.

"Aven… what are you doing?" he asked. Aven raised an eyebrow.

"I _think _I'm talking to you…"

"No, but, I mean… why?"

"Because I'm sure I'll be told not to," Aven said, a smirk on her face. "And besides… it was going to happen sooner or later. I really do need to talk to you," she said, suddenly looking a little more serious. "Do you know what tonight is?" she asked quietly. Merlin shook his head, and Aven almost laughed. "I knew I had a lot to teach you," she said, taking his hand.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Merlin asked.

"I figure we can disappear for about twenty minutes before people start asking questions. That is plenty of time for what I need to show you," Aven said. A ghost of a smile was on her lips, but it didn't grow.

It didn't fade, either.

Aven was leading Merlin in the direction of the room she had been in when she was hiding out in Camelot. She hadn't been there since she'd been discovered.

Much to Merlin's dismay, Aven released his hand as soon as the two of them had stepped out onto the small balcony. But the balcony was pretty small, and Merlin didn't really mind being pressed up against Aven. Then he remembered something.

Pulling what must have been the richest, reddest rose in the kingdom out of his pocket, Merlin held it out to Aven, who could only smile when she saw it.

"This may be one of the sappiest things I have ever said, but I saw this and thought of you," Merlin said, grinning as Aven took the rose.

"Wow… that _was_ sappy," she said, a small smile flirting on her lips. Suddenly she winced as one of the thorns on the rose pricked her fingers. A tiny drop of blood appeared, and Merlin mentally sighed. He couldn't even give this woman a rose without messing it up!

"Sorry… about the rose and the thorn and all…" Merlin said, suppressing his blush as well as he could. Aven shrugged.

"There is nothing you could have done. Every rose has its thorn." The two of them were quiet for a while, and Merlin thought about the double meaning of what Aven had said. Finally he spoke up.

"So… what are you showing me, exactly?" he asked. "Not that I wouldn't be fine with just coming out here with no reason, but…"

"Look." Aven stretched out her arm and Merlin followed her finger, trying to figure out what she was pointing to. "The moon."

"…Yes…"

"You _really_ have no idea?" Aven asked. She sighed.

"Well, I-I mean..." Aven rolled her eyes.

"Tonight is the Harvest Moon. You don't know what that is?" she asked. Merlin shook his head. "Wow, you really need me more than I thought you did." Merlin knew Aven was referring to their magic, but he was thinking about how he needed her to be with him.

"The Harvest Moon," Aven began, "is known among many sorcerers as the night that their powers will be at the very highest," she said. A look of realization came over Merlin's face, followed by a smile.

"So… what would happen if… if I… kissed you?" he asked. Aven gave him a surprised look, which was followed by a look of sadness.

"We… we can't," she murmured, looking at the ground. Merlin sighed. He'd had a feeling it would come to that. "But… in answer to your question… if you kissed me, then we would probably become the two most powerful creatures on Earth," Aven said. She looked ready to cry, and Merlin instantly felt bad. He hadn't meant to upset her.

"We should go back," he said sadly. He was afraid if he spent any more time alone with her, he was going to mess everything up even more. He decided that life was a lot easier when he wasn't afraid of being in love with her.

"Wait," Aven said, catching the bottom of his jacket in her hand as he turned to leave. She bit her lip. "I changed my mind," she said. She then lowered her voice to a whisper. "…Kiss me." Merlin was caught between a rock and real hard place. As much as he wanted to kiss her, it was forbidden...

Then again, there was a good chance this would be the last time he would ever get to do so. He nodded and took both of her hands in his. Moving his thumbs in small circular motions over the back of her hands, he pressed his lips to hers gently.

The two could hear soft music coming from inside the castle. Merlin imagined what it would be like if it was allowed for him to be in the ballroom with Aven, slow dancing…

Not that he could dance, but this was a fantasy.

A fantasy. That's all it was. And all it could ever be.

Suddenly Merlin realized he tasted salt. He opened his eyes and saw a steady flow of tears streaming down Aven's face. Slowly, he pulled away, and Aven opened her eyes, releasing more tears. Merlin reached up and brushed a few curly locks of hair behind her ear.

"Your eyes are so beautiful," he whispered. "Please don't cry, love."

"This cannot be right," Aven muttered. "Merlin, I… I have never felt like this before."

"How do you feel?" Merlin asked, almost afraid of the answer. Just in case it wasn't the same as what he was feeling.

"I am not sure. This feels so hopeless, and yet… I do not want to give up. We have two weeks to end this arrangement, or the weddings will proceed. And all I can think of to end this is… well, it is not a pleasant prospect. It would put people we care about in jeopardy. But if the Druids attacked… and I know they will not… then the weddings would be delayed," Aven said.

"How do you know they won't attack?" Merlin asked.

"Because I am alive," Aven said. "And you are alive. The two of us… we are their greatest threats. You are the most powerful warlock alive, and I know all their secrets." Aven gave him a weak smile. "Hey, if they attacked right now, we would win in a heartbeat," she said.

"You feel it, too?" Merlin asked, smiling a little. He was referring to the intense surge of magic flowing through of his veins when he was kissing Aven.

"Yes, I felt it." Aven leaned closer and whispered in his ear, "Not just the magic, either." Merlin felt himself blush a little bit, and Aven's smile grew.

"What have you done to me, Aven?" Merlin asked with a soft smile.

"The same thing you have done to me, I suppose," Aven answered. "We… we really do need to go back now," she said. Merlin nodded, but Aven stopped him. "Wait a minute." She ran inside the room and grabbed a small blue cloth. "I put coloration on my lips before I left. There is some on yours," she explained.

Merlin turned completely red.

* * *

Slipping back as discreetly as possible into the ballroom, Aven went over to join Rena, who was now alone.

With wine. Aven groaned. _Doesn't she know what a lightweight she is?_

"Rena, what have we talked about?" Aven asked as she stood next to her friend, watching the couples waltz across the floor. Rena smiled at her.

"This is my first. And I've only taken a sip or two. Where were you?" she asked.

"Nowhere. And you are a liar. Your cheeks are flushed."

"You are a liar, as well. The makeup on your lips is smudged," Rena quickly shot back. Aven hadn't taken her own lips into consideration. Suddenly Rena gasped and smiled brightly. "You were with Merlin, weren't you?" she said excitedly.

"Hush, Rena! Do you want all of Camelot to hear you?" Aven asked accusingly.

"Sorry. But were you?" Aven sighed.

"Yes, I was," she murmured.

"And he kissed you?" Rena asked, giggling slightly. Aven raised an eyebrow, completely convinced that this was _at least _Rena's second glass of wine.

"Yes, after I practically begged him to." Aven groaned. "I feel _awful. _I do not know how they cope with it."

"How who copes with what?" Rena asked.

"How Arthur and Gwen cope with… this… same for you and Xander." Rena looked down quickly and the apples of her cheeks turned pink.

"I…"

"Oh, come now, Rena, we all know. I can read you like a book, and Xander… well, he is my brother."

"It does not matter. I am marrying River."

"And I am marrying Arthur, yet you get all excited when I tell you that Merlin and I were off somewhere kissing," Aven pointed out.

"Okay, you may have a point there."

"I _may_?"

"You _do_."

"Thank you." Aven leaned back against the wall and sighed. "What happened to the world's sense of justice?" she wondered aloud.

"I'm not sure," Rena muttered, trying not to make her gazes at Xander obvious.

_I will probably be dead in a matter of weeks, anyway. If I marry Arthur, my mother will kill me, unless Alvarr beats her to it, _Aven thought. But she didn't say anything to Rena. It was better if she didn't know. Rena didn't need anything more to worry about.

* * *

Alvarr grinned. His plan was almost perfectly in place. He had the element of surprise when it came to defeating Aven.

And Aven was smart and powerful, so he would need all the magic energy he could get his hands on. But he wanted to do this alone. He was not the only one with a grudge against Aven _or _Merlin, for that matter, but he wanted a solo victory.

And he swore that he would win this time. Aven had more weaknesses. It wouldn't take much… not this time.


	21. Stop and Stare

_A/N: Before we begin, I have to give a great big thanks to Kitty O, who is now my beta-reader. She's also a very talented writer and I suggest you check out her stories!_

_Feedback is appreciated!_

_The title song is "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic, and the lyrics I use at the end are from the song "All Around Me" by Flyleaf._

**21. Stop and Stare**

Merlin was standing outside of Aven's chambers, debating whether or not to go in. He felt like he had to see her one more time that night, but he was afraid she would think he was overdoing it. _I guess I'll never know unless I go find out_, he thought. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. As he did so, he realized that he really should have knocked first…

"You never were very good at knocking before entering, were you?" Aven asked from her bed. She was sitting upright, back against her pillows, with the light of a single candle on her night table next to her bed on the right. Merlin blushed and shrugged.

"Not really. I'm sorry, I guess I should-"

"I do not mind," Aven said. She patted the spot to her left. "Sit."

"Don't you remember what happened the last time we did this?" Merlin asked. Nevertheless, he complied and sat next to her.

"What, sat on a bed together?" Aven asked, raising an eyebrow. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Then I see nothing wrong with it," she said. Then she took a pause for thought. "Just out of curiosity, did you ever straighten Arthur out?" she asked.

"Yeah, I had to. He kept bringing it up at the worst times," Merlin said, chuckling slightly.

"Good. I would feel bad if I made him think you were, shall we say… easy?" Merlin turned even redder and Aven tried not to laugh at his expense. A comfortable silence descended onto the room, until Merlin broke it.

"Aven?"

"Yes?"

"Do you… do you feel safe here? I mean… here in Camelot… do you feel safe from Alvarr? And the other Druids?" Merlin asked. "Because you still seem nervous." Aven inhaled sharply, thinking about her response. She trusted Merlin with her life… but trusting him with her heart was a different thing entirely.

"Well... I am... a little. Elrich attacked me in a way that I never expected, and that has made me much more alert. But I would feel much more vulnerable if it weren't for you and Rena. Mostly you, because you know a lot more about all of this than Rena does. I will not tell her because I fear it will send her into an unnecessary panic," Aven said. Merlin smiled. He didn't know why, but he liked that Aven could tell him things that she couldn't even tell Rena, her best friend.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Aven asked, looking up at Merlin in the most pleading way with her big brown eyes.

"I… I want to, Aven, but… I don't think I _should_…"

"Please?" Aven whispered. Merlin sighed.

"Alright," he murmured. "Just for a while." He felt happier with his decision as Aven lay back on her pillows and motioned for him to do the same. Once he did, she draped an arm around his neck, and Merlin prayed that she didn't know just how badly he wanted to kiss her. He thought about how, as threatening as she could be when she wanted to, she could be so _innocent_… and he loved her for that. So he didn't want to make her uncomfortable or pressure her at all.

Which is why he thought he _must_ be an idiot when he opened his mouth and said:

"I love you."

Aven stared up at him in shock. Neither could say anything for a moment, until Aven finally spoke up. And her reply was the farthest thing from what he expected.

"No you don't."

"What… I… yes, I-"

"No, Merlin, you don't. You think you do, but… you don't," Aven said, a confused and hurt look on her face.

"No, Aven, look at me," Merlin said, holding Aven's chin in his hand so that she was forced to look into his eyes. "Look at me and tell me you don't think I am in love with you." Aven bit her lip, not sure what to do.

"This… this cannot be, I… I think I am in love with… with you, but… I do not believe in love, and…" The look on Aven's face broke Merlin's heart.

"Aven, I'm sorry, but I really do love you, and if you aren't ready to say it back, that's all right," he said. Aven nodded.

"Thank you, Merlin. And I am so sorry, it's just… when you said that, it was… well, it reminded me of a lot of things I'm trying to forget," Aven said. Merlin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He began to stroke her dark hair softly.

"I'm not like him, Aven," Merlin whispered. "I will never, ever hurt you."

"I know that. And you know…" she began sleepily as she felt herself drift off. "I think that if I _did _believe in love… I would most definitely love you." Merlin smiled, knowing Aven was probably tired and had no idea what she had just said to him.

Either way, he'd heard her say it, and that was good enough for him.

* * *

When Aven woke up, there was a blanket over her body and pillows beneath her head…

But there was no Merlin next to her. She sighed to herself. She should have known he'd leave after she fell asleep. But there hadn't been blankets over her when she had, and there hadn't been a fire going to keep her warm.

Once she was changed out of her nightgown and her hair was brushed, Aven left her room to go meet Rena for breakfast.

"Good morning," she greeted as she entered her friend's chambers. Rena was sitting at her table, obviously waiting for her.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is for you," Rena said. Aven raised an eyebrow.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" she asked. Rena just shrugged.

"Nothing. You just seem unusually happy this morning."

"I slept well last night," Aven said, smiling softly to herself. Rena smirked.

"Ah. And I'm sure that has nothing to do with the fact that I saw Merlin leaving your room in the middle of the night with a guilty expression on his face?" Rena asked coyly. Aven dropped the plate she was holding, so Rena held out her hand and, with a few magic words, stopped it from breaking.

"What… how did you see him?" Aven asked.

"I could not sleep, so I was wandering around the castle," Rena said.

"Did you say anything to him?"

"No, I figured I would let him take his walk of shame in peace," Rena said, trying not to laugh. Aven glared at her.

"What the hell is it with you Pendragons thinking Merlin and I are sleeping together? Well, I mean, last night, we slept… as in, all we did was _sleep_… together, in the same bed, but that's all it was!" Aven said, her response sounding rushed.

"Wow…" Rena murmured. "He really loves you, Aven, I can tell. And I know you don't believe in love, but if you saw the way he looks at you… your mind would be changed in a minute, trust me." Rena groaned. "If only we could all figure out a way to get out of this…" she said, sighing a little. Suddenly something in Aven's mind clicked.

"Wait a minute… Rena, I have an idea," she said. "Tonight, I want you to get Arthur, Gwen, River, and yourself to gather in my chambers. I will get Merlin and Xander."

"You have a plan?" Rena asked excitedly.

"No… but you gave me a possible theory. If we put all of our seven minds together, maybe we can figure out something to end these marriages. That will be one problem out of the way, and then you, Merlin, and I can work together to fight Alvarr and the Druids who are rebelling with him," Aven said. Rena smiled.

"I knew you had good ideas," she said. Aven shrugged.

"I kissed Merlin on the Harvest Moon last night, so all of me is more powerful. Including my brain, I suppose," Aven said.

"I told you how good you two were for each other," Rena said, smiling. "And doesn't this prove it?" Aven almost laughed in spite of herself.

"Sure, Rena. You're always right."

"And don't you forget it."

* * *

Aven and Rena sat on the floor of Aven's chambers, the door locked a thousand times over. They were sitting cross-legged, facing each other. The room was completely dark, except for a single candle that was between the two women, who had their eyes closed.

Aven was burning incense over in one corner of the room, and hopefully it would enhance the experience of the ceremony she was conducting.

"What did you just say?" Rena asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"I said "Gods of heaven and above, cleanse our souls of hatred and despair so that we may prevail in our quest to defeat our enemies and those who bring hatred to the world"," Aven explained. Rena nodded.

"And do you think it will work?" she asked. Aven shrugged.

"It is an ancient cleansing ceremony, or ritual, if you will, and it was heavily relied upon when the priests and priestesses of the Old Religion commanded the Earth. I do not know for sure if it will work, but nothing can hurt us now, right?" Rena nodded.

"I suppose… but I thought the priests and priestesses of the Old Religion did not command the Earth, but rather they worked alongside it as its dutiful servants," Rena said, repeating the words she'd heard Aven use time and time again. Aven gave her a soft smile.

"It seems as though you have learned something from me after all," she said. "Now all we can do is wait, prepare, and hope for the best."

* * *

_My hands are searching for you… my arms are outstretched towards you. I feel you on my fingertips, my tongue dances behind my lips for you…_

Merlin wasn't sure when he had last felt so desperate. As much as he wanted Aven – and he wanted her _so _badly – he knew that they couldn't be together. Maybe they just weren't meant to be together. Merlin decided there was somebody out there who was better for Aven than he was, someone who could give her everything she would ever need, someone who could love her without worrying what other people thought…

Someone who could do the impossible – convince her that love was real.

_This fire rising through my being, burning, I'm not used to seeing you. I'm alive… I'm alive…_

He had to ask Rena for help.

He wasn't seeking relationship advice because, if he was going to be honest, he and Aven didn't _have _much of a relationship. Sure, they'd kissed, and sure, he loved her… but it seemed as though Aven kept herself away from her emotions just enough so that she never got into another Elrich-like situation. But something like that would never happen with Merlin. He wasn't like that.

Then again, Elrich hadn't seemed like that either.

_I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing. Holding onto what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that healing._

So, Merlin decided he had no choice but to go to Rena. And he had gotten what he'd expected when he asked her for help. She smiled the whole time as he talked about how much he felt for Aven, but looked rather depressed when he talked about knowing how he couldn't be with her.

"You don't know for sure that you two will never be together," she had said.

"Rena, she's a princess… and I'm a servant. When have you ever seen that relationship work out?"

Rena hadn't said anything after that.

_My hands float up above me, and you whisper you love me. And I begin to fade into our secret place._

"So, you're just going to give up on your hopes of being in a relationship with her, other than friendship?" Rena asked.

"I suppose so. I'll be her friend if that's all I will ever be permitted to be, but for both her sake and mine, I don't think I should try for anything more," Merlin said.

"Have you told Aven of this?" Rena asked, raising an eyebrow. Merlin looked at the ground sheepishly.

_This music makes me sway… the angels singing say we are alone with you. I am alone and they are too, with you. I'm alive… I'm alive…_

"Well, no… but I hardly ever see her."

"You could if you made an effort to, Merlin. I'm certain it wouldn't be that hard," Rena said. Merlin knew that the only reason she could say that was because she didn't know how hard it was to see Aven and not want to kiss her… and tell her over and over of his love…

_I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing. Holding onto what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing._

"Alright, Merlin, I'm going to help you. Just give me a day or so, and I will have something worked out for you," Rena said.

"That's sort of vague… what are you going to do?" Merlin asked, not quite sure if he should put all of his trust in Rena's plan.

Rena just smiled.

"You'll see."

_Take my hand and give it to you, now you own me, all I am. You said you would never leave me, I believe you, I believe._

_I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing. Holding onto what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healed_


	22. Thunder

_A/N: Again, big thanks to my beta-reader, Kitty O! Please review, it really encourages me to keep writing! Sorry if this chapter seems rushed, I've been really pressed for time lately._

_I don't own Merlin, or "Thunder" by Boys Like Girls._

**22. Thunder**

Rena, Xander, Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, and River stood in Aven's chambers... waiting for Aven.

"Leave it to Aven to be the only one late to the gathering that _she _planned," Rena whispered to Xander. The knight chuckled and nodded.

"That's my sister for you…"

"I heard that," Aven said, suddenly standing in the doorway. "I apologize for being late; I was speaking with my father." Rena noticed a sad look flash across Aven's face as she mentioned her father, but it was gone almost as soon as it appeared.

"Now, it should be fairly obvious as to why I asked you all to come here tonight," Aven said, as she _just happened _to walk over to where Merlin was standing. "Before I continue, if anyone has one good reason as to why these arranged marriages should proceed, I would be very interested to hear it."

No one spoke.

"All right, now we have to figure out why our superiors believe that these unions are for the better," Aven said.

"Camelot and Kierian are two of the most powerful kingdoms right now," River mentioned. "That most likely explains your marriage, Aven."

"At the same time, though, Aven and Arthur are the only heirs to Kierian's throne," Xander interjected. "And while my father is somewhat unfit to rule, making our mother the kingdom's main ruler, let's face it, King Uther is not going to live forever," he added.

"Why can't you take the throne?" Merlin asked.

"I am Felicitia's son from another marriage," Xander explained.

"Widowed," Aven whispered to Merlin, the note of suspicion in her voice almost comical.

"I am only Aven's half-brother, so they made me the closest thing to a royal they could without actually giving me a crown," Xander finished, giving Aven a stern look as he did so. Aven gave him a sibling-like smirk.

"What about River and Rena's marriage?" Arthur asked. No one said anything.

"Really?" Rena asked, a little angry with the situation. "So there is _no _reason for this torture… oh my God, no offense, River," she said, placing her hand over her mouth, mortified at what she'd just said. River held up a hand.

"I feel the same, Rena, believe me," he said.

Aven cast a look across the room at Gwen, who was remaining relatively quiet. Signaling to Merlin that she would be back in a minute, she crept across the room over to Arthur. Yes, the main focus of the meeting was to find a way out of the arranged marriages, but that didn't mean other goals couldn't be accomplished… it was like skilled multi-tasking.

"Arthur," Aven whispered. "Gwen looks a little… out of place. I think she would feel better if you went over there with her," she said encouragingly.

"Why can't Merlin go over there?" Arthur whispered back, as though it was a totally acceptable question. Aven struggled to resist the urge to hit Arthur as hard as she could.

"I cannot believe I am saying this, but you may be even thicker than you were the last time we were together. Alright, you _prat_… _I _want _you_ to go over _there _with _Guinevere _because _you_ have feelings for _her_ and _she _has feelings for _you_," Aven said, speaking slowly as though she was hinting that she thought Arthur had a mental affliction.

"I cannot believe I am saying this, but you may be even more annoying than you were the last time we were together," Arthur muttered, mimicking Aven's words. She in turn rolled her eyes.

"Oh, just go over to Gwen before I have to hurt you!" Aven hissed, shoving Arthur in Gwen's direction. She chose not to watch what happened after that, hoping that Arthur wasn't as big as an idiot as he had been back when they were engaged… the first time.

Making her way back to Merlin, who was now standing by Rena and Xander, Aven slipped Rena a discreet little smirk as she began listening to the conversation again.

"What was that?" Rena whispered.

"I was just trying to make Arthur see what a blind man can," Aven said with a shrug. Rena giggled behind her hand. Xander and River seemed to be the only ones still completely focused.

"Sometimes I worry about you suffering from insanity, Aven." Aven rolled her eyes.

"I do not suffer from insanity. I enjoy every second of it. That is how far it has gone," she said. Rena bit her lip, trying to be serious and not burst out laughing.

Aven looked back across the room at Arthur and Gwen. They were talking in hushed tones, which Aven could only take as a good thing. As she continued to watch them, Merlin reached over a little and took her hand in his. It seemed as though he'd forgotten there were other people in the room, then remembered, as he quickly released her hand. Aven frowned and took his again.

"Aven…" Merlin began.

"What? When I explain my reasons for wanting to get out of my marriage to Arthur, I want you to be one of them. You have to be," Aven said. Merlin couldn't help but smile at this. Aven looked back at Merlin every so often, but kept an eye on Arthur and Gwen. Except for talking to Arthur, Gwen had remained completely quiet. She looked like she wanted to say something, but doubted herself. Aven didn't like when people did that.

"Gwen?" _Sometimes, _Aven thought, _you just have to get the ball rolling yourself._ "Is there anything you would like to say?" Aven tried to sound as friendly and inviting as she could. _We are all equals here, Gwen._ Gwen's cheeks seemed a tad pink, and Aven tried not to smile at the sweet moment as Arthur was obviously supporting Gwen from where he stood.

"W-well… I just think that, since River said that his kingdom Myridan has been running low on supplies such as wood lately, that maybe… a kingdom such as Revasia would not help them, since Revasia is mostly known for its fields and grasslands," Gwen explained. For a minute, no one said anything, and Gwen looked at the floor; her cheeks tinged completely pink. "I'm sorry, I should not have said that-"

"No, Gwen, that's brilliant," Rena said, grabbing a piece of parchment, a quill, and some ink. "That will make a good argument, since these arranged marriages are all about the kingdoms," Rena muttered (almost to herself) as she scribbled down the note as quickly as she could. Arthur smiled at Gwen from where he stood, and Aven smirked, feeling rather proud of herself.

"Now-" Xander was just about to comment on how wrong it was for his little sister to marry one of his best friends, when Aven's maidservant Jayva rushed into the room.

"I am sorry to interrupt, my lady, but your mother is looking for you," Jayva said, looking Aven in the eye. Aven muttered a few profanities under her breath before sighing and thanking Jayva for letting her know.

"Alright… the continuation of this meeting will have to be delayed," Aven sighed, running a hand through her dark hair agitatedly. "I would advise everyone to get back to their rooms as quickly as possible, and hopefully without anyone noticing." As everyone began to leave, Aven told Merlin to wait for her as she walked over to Gwen.

"Guinevere, may I have a word with you?" she asked kindly. Gwen hesitated a little, but nodded. To be honest, Aven scared her a little bit, but Gwen had no idea what she had been through, so she decided she couldn't judge the princess. She seemed nice enough, but still… she reminded her a little bit of Morgana.

"Gwen…" Aven began, not quite sure where to go with what she wanted to say. "I have known Arthur since I was nine years old. Now, in the ten years I have known him, I have seen him look at a lot – and I do mean _a lot_ – of women. The thing is… in all those years of seeing him look at women, I have never, ever seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. I know I really don't know you all that well, and I know that I must be overstepping boundaries here, but… I have seen the way you look at him, as well. Arthur needs someone like you to keep his feet on the ground… someone caring. I know you do not believe that you two can ever be together… but someday, Gwen, things will be different," Aven said. She took a deep breath. "…That's it."

Gwen was speechless for a minute.

"Aven… you do not believe in love, do you?" she finally asked. Aven shook her head.

"No, I do not."

"Then how can you believe all these things about Arthur and me?" Gwen asked. Aven's expression was one of thought and slight puzzlement.

"I… some people are just meant to be together, I suppose," Aven said.

"But wouldn't it mean nothing if it weren't for love?" Gwen asked. Suddenly she looked as though she wanted to take back all her words. "I-I'm sorry, Aven, I should not have said-" Aven held up a hand to silence her.

"Gwen, as far as I am concerned, you can say whatever the hell you want to me. If I can find a way out of these marriages… then you will most likely be the Queen of Camelot, meaning… yeah… you can say whatever the hell you want to _anybody_," Aven said, grinning. Gwen smiled. She had a new sense of respect for Aven, who wasn't afraid to speak her mind and was completely honest with her about Arthur. Gwen had needed that.

And if Aven, the woman who seemed so against relationships, believed all that… then shouldn't Gwen?

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

"I have something for you," Rena said, a neutral expression on her face as she approached Merlin. "I came up with a way to help you with your little Aven problem."

"Rena, please, could you _not_ say that so loudly?" Merlin asked desperately. Rena laughed.

"Oh, yes, I forgot how badly the servants like to gossip in Camelot," she said.

"What, they're not like that in _every _kingdom?"

"No, they are. But they are _far_ worse in Camelot. Alright, here, open this," Rena said, handing Merlin a folded up piece of parchment. Merlin looked it over, then looked back at Rena, his face completely confused.

"_What_ is this?"

"It is a list of ten rules I made that you will have to follow and not even _think_ about breaking if you truly want to ever have any hope about getting rid of your feelings for Aven. Now, are you sure you want to do that?" Rena asked. Merlin nodded.

"I want to try, at least," he said. He thought back to what Aven had said the night before. _"When I explain my reasons for wanting to get out of my marriage to Arthur, I want you to be one of them. You have to be". _Just that alone was enough to make him want to forget about the list and do what his heart was telling him. But he had to think about what was best for Aven, and how he could avoid hurting her even more.

"Alright, then, I guess you will be following the rules," she said. Merlin took another look at the list, this time really analyzing the rules.

I. Thoughts about Aven

1. Aven has pretty eyes. If you find yourself agreeing with that sentence, splash your face with some cold water until you do not.

2. Aven would make a good wife. If you find yourself agreeing with _that_ sentence, go see Rena. She _will_ straighten you out.

3. Don't think you can change her mind about love. Because then you'll start trying. And soon enough, you'll be in love with her.

4. If any talks come up of the past kisses you two have shared, change the subject. Just do it. Because you know you'll start thinking about it, and want to kiss her again.

II. Things that happen when you're with Aven.

5. Should 4 in part I happen, and Aven doesn't want to let you change the subject, simply leave.

6. Don't let yourself be caught looking at Aven for more than five seconds at a time.

7. Refer to rule 6 ESPECIALLY if when Aven is wearing a dress and is all done-up for something. Really, we don't need you staring and dropping more plates, Merlin.

8. If Aven tries to make the first move, either explain to her that you care about her but don't think it's a good idea, or refer to rule 5 and leave.

9. It's all right to look at other women if you're trying to get over Aven. (Refer to rules 6 and 7.)

III. The rule that I had to put because I'm her best friend

10. Don't make her fall if you don't plan to catch her.

As he read the last rule, Merlin crumpled up the list and put it in his pocket, knowing he was going to throw it away. He couldn't imagine following any of them… and it was obvious Aven had already fallen.

So, consequently, he had to be ready to catch her.


	23. Until You're Mine

_A/N: Thanks for those sticking by me, even though I feel extremely disappointed in myself. I'm having one of those weeks where things just aren't working out... it's just... ugh, I don't even want to talk about it. Therefore my writing is lacking a certain property which makes it tolerable, and I need to give a BIG shout-out to Kitty O, my beta-reader, who I sent the wrong chapter to (again, sorry)! Also it was a really bad chapter, so I'm re-writing it now. I hope this doesn't disappoint the rest of you! I rather like this chapter, because of a certain scene... well, you'll see._

_I don't own Merlin, or "Until You're Mine" by Demi Lovato. I've been waiting a long time to use this song, because I love it so much and I wanted it to be perfect. While the lyrics revealing, the song has also got a strong rock core which I think is great for the story. I'm done rambling, in case you wanted to actually READ the story. :)_

**23. Until You're Mine**

Aven sat alone in her chambers, bathed in sunlight as it poured in through her windows. She was contemplating the dream she'd had the night before. Well, it hadn't really been a _dream_, per say… it was more like a warning.

_Aven saw herself in a mirror. She reached out to touch the mirror, knowing the reflection would do the same._

_But it didn't._

_"You have a choice now, Aven," said the Mirror-Aven. The Mirror-Aven was wearing pants, boots, and a tunic. The Aven who had reached out to touch the mirror was wearing one of her princess dresses._

_"What choice?" For a moment, the Mirror-Aven did not respond. The Aven wearing the dress was almost certain that the Mirror-Aven was not herself, but was someone – or some_thing _– else that was taking her own form._

_"What would happen if you died, Aven?" Mirror-Aven asked._

_"I…" Aven wasn't sure. "Well, Kierian would be without an heir, Arthur would be free to marry Gwen once he became King… but Rena would lose her friend, Alvarr could attack, and Merlin…" Aven didn't finish. She didn't know how to._

_"He would lose his love. And it wouldn't be the first time," Mirror-Aven said. Aven raised an eyebrow._

_"Explain."_

_"It is not my place to." Aven rolled her eyes._

_"What, do you want _me _to ask him about it?" she asked, scoffing. "There is hardly a chance." Mirror-Aven shrugged._

_"Think about it. Now, it would be _very _hard for him if he lost another love, wouldn't it be? I know you do not believe in love, but for a moment, let's say you did. Do you think that your death would bring more bad than good?" Mirror-Aven asked._

_"Well, I would _like_ to think that… I would say so," Aven said._

_"Then you will have to be very careful tomorrow," Mirror-Aven said. Aven cocked an eyebrow._

_"Why?" Suddenly the Mirror-Aven disappeared, but Aven heard another voice behind her._

_"It seems as though you'll just have to wait to figure this out, won't you, Aven? Yes, I have finally discovered your real name. I know how smart you think you were, fooling us for all those years-"_

_"Alvarr, what are you doing?" Aven growled, her eyes narrowed. She smirked. "It seems you have recovered from me kicking your arse through Elrich. I know I told him to go to Hell many times, and it seems he has finally listened to me," she said._

_"Snarky comments will not get you anywhere, Aven," Alvarr said. Aven rolled her eyes._

_"Forget it, Alvarr. What do you want from me?"_

_"Well, I would like you to die, but it seems a certain warlock keeps getting in the way of that," Alvarr said._

_"Don't you DARE bring him into this!" Aven snarled. Though she tried to keep her tough exterior, she felt as though her heart had hit the ground in fear. Alvarr grinned in a snake-like way. Aven almost expected to see a forked tongue flicker out of his mouth._

_"Oh, it's too late for that, darling. He has decided that you are worth saving, so he dragged himself into this mess. You two will have to die, I suppose. Anyone else who gets in the way… they will just be collateral damage," Alvarr said, the look in his eyes telling Aven he meant Rena._

_"I am going to protect them," Aven said with the strongest voice she could muster._

_"I see. Well, Aven, if you wish to do so, then you will come to the forest and face me. Alone. Or your friend and lover will be the first to die."_

_"He's not my…" Aven's sentence faded away as she lost the will to finish it. Alvarr laughed cruelly, and Aven suddenly felt very small, even for a woman who was on the shorter side._

_"Look at you. You're weak. You can't even deny it."_

As Aven reflected on her dream, she realized Alvarr was right. She sighed. _Merlin, _she thought, _this is all your fault. Then again it is also my fault for returning your feelings._

Aven decided she needed to take all the measures necessary to protect herself and the people she cared about.

And that meant she would need a little magic.

* * *

As quickly as she could, Aven ushered Xander into her room, where Rena and Merlin were already sitting on the floor in front of her fireplace.

"Aven, what did you need me for, exactly?" Xander asked as Aven forced him to sit down on Merlin's left, then sitting down herself on Xander's left. Rena completed the circle that they had formed. It was the dead of night, but it was the only time that what they were doing would be even somewhat safe.

"Xander, I need you here because tonight, I am going to perform a protection ritual that I can only hope will help us in the event of an emergency… and I have to ask you to do something a little disturbing," she said. Xander gulped. If it was disturbing to Aven, chances were any normal person would find it… well, what was the next level of disturbed? Whatever it was, that was what Aven's idea would probably be.

"What do you need me to do?"

"After I burn the incense and say a few spells, I need you to take this knife…" Aven said, handing her brother a gleaming silver dagger. "And cut this pattern into each of our left hands. I know, it's disturbing, weird, and uncomfortable, but I need you to do this to everyone except yourself."

"Why not myself?" Xander asked, not sure if he was going to accept Aven's proposition.

"Because you are not magic. After you have cut us, I will pour a liquid into the wound with magical properties that would be fatal to a mortal such as yourself," Aven said. Aven had trusted Xander with her, Rena, and Merlin's secret, knowing that if anyone would take a secret to their grave it would be her older brother.

"Well, there's certainly no messing around with you tonight, is there?" Xander asked. Aven shook her head.

"No. Now, will you help us or not?" Xander sighed.

"Yes." Aven gave him a half-smile.

"Good." Aven stood up and grabbed a small jar of incense off of a table she had near the fireplace. Next to it was a bottle of silver-blue liquid that would be used later on.

Throwing the incense into the fire, Aven sat back down and took a deep breath in through her nose, exhaling from her mouth.

"Merlin, by definition you are a priest of the Old Religion, holding the power of life and death in your hands. Do you remember the spells I taught you?" she asked.

"Yes," Merlin said, looking a little paler than usual. Aven's face was set in a neutral expression, but her dark eyes held so much feeling for him it was hard for Rena to watch. The golden-haired princess just wanted her friend to admit to Merlin how she felt about him, but since Aven wouldn't even admit to herself Rena's hopes weren't too high.

"All right, go ahead."

"_Diogelu ni rhag drwg, y rhai sy'n ceisio difetha ni a gwared byd cyfiawnder_," Merlin recited, hoping he got the words right. He looked over at Aven, but her eyes were closed as she focused on making the spell as strong as it could be.

"What did that mean?" Rena whispered to Aven.

"It means "protect us from evil, those who seek to destroy us and rid the world of justice"," Aven said, her eyes still shut. Suddenly she opened them.

"Well, according to what I've been taught we're supposed to sacrifice a virgin now, but I am not so keen on the idea, so we are going to skip that part for now," Aven said. "Xander…"

"I know," Xander said. Merlin held out his palm to Xander first, and the knight made three even cuts overlapping each other, and Merlin winced a little from the pain. As the blood began to pool in his hand, Aven poured the silver-blue liquid into the cuts. Instantly, the pain was numbed.

Aven pulled back the long sleeves of her dress and let Xander cut into her own hand.

She didn't even bat an eye.

Pouring the liquid onto her own hand, she watched the pained expression on Xander's face as he cut into Rena's palm. Aven had known the hardest part of this would be Xander hurting Rena, so she poured the magical liquid as quickly as she could into Rena's cuts.

"Well," Aven said, ending the silence that had been going on since the whole ordeal started, "We managed to complete an illegal protection ceremony without being executed. I call this a success," she said, standing up. Merlin, Rena, and Xander quickly followed suit.

Rena bid everyone goodnight and left the room hastily, knowing every minute she spent with Xander she risked getting caught. So of course, Xander left a few seconds after Rena.

"Thank you for doing the spells," Aven said to Merlin once Xander was out of the room.

"Thank you for not wanting me to die," Merlin said, smiling weakly.

"Remember what I told you in the forest? Too much collateral damage," Aven said, smiling a little as she absent-mindedly straightened Merlin's brown jacket.

"You should smile more," Merlin told her. "It looks good on you."

"Hmm." Remembering something, Aven went to her bedside table and opened up a small box. Taking out a miniscule vile of brown liquid, she placed it in Merlin's hand that had previously been holding hers.

"Will you do me a favor and take this to Gaius? I want to see if he knows what it is," Aven said, closing Merlin's hand tenderly around the vial.

"Where did you get this?" Merlin asked quietly.

"Remember how, before that little meeting we had to discuss the arranged marriages, I was late because I was with my father?"

_Aven was sitting with her father in his room, side by side as she held on tightly to his hand. She spoke slowly and softly, telling her father about her day and how much she had missed him. She knew that the whole conversation would be forgotten an hour after it was over by her father, but it felt good to talk to him._

_"…And I am so… worried… about my wedding. I just cannot marry Arthur," she said._

_"But, Aven, I thought you loved Arthur," Jonathan said. The words stung Aven. It was happening, right in front of her. Her father's mental stability was getting worse. He knew that she never loved Arthur, and honestly couldn't. She felt tears building behind her eyes._

_"No," she whispered. "Oh, Father, for years I have watched Arthur… watched him grow up and become a man that any woman would be lucky to marry. But that woman is not me, Father. I do not love Arthur, and I never could. Not only because I do not believe in love, but because… my heart belongs to someone else," she said._

_"Why do you not believe in love?" Jonathan asked._

_"For nineteen years, I have convinced myself that love is a simple figment of a truly besotted person's imagination because I never got a chance to see it for myself. But now, it is the strangest thing… not only do I think I have seen love, but… I think I am actually experiencing it," Aven said. "Not with Arthur, but with another man."_

_"And just who is this man that has stolen my daughter's heart?" Jonathan asked, giving Aven a soft smile. Aven tried to smile as best she could and blink back tears._

_"He did not steal my heart, Father, I have given it to him. His name is Merlin," Aven whispered. "He is Arthur's manservant by title, but he is so much more than that. And I think I love him… but is it not pointless to love someone I could never love freely?"_

_"Let me ask you this. Do you really, truly believe in love, Aven?" Jonathan asked. Aven looked at the floor, debating it._

_"…Yes. I almost wonder how I could have denied its existence for so long," she said, smiling as she reached over and took a piece of sausage from her Father's breakfast plate. She figured she should have eaten before she came._

_Almost as soon as Aven had placed the sausage in her mouth, she started coughing, and eventually had to spit it out._

_"What _was_ that?" Aven murmured to herself. She turned to her father. "Who brought you that?" she asked suspiciously._

_"Your mother's been bringing me breakfast almost every day since you were fifteen, Aven," Jonathan said, smiling because he didn't know what was going on in his daughter's mind. Aven's hands curled into fists at the mention of her mother's name._

_"I see," she said through gritted teeth. If Aven's suspicions were correct, then what she was looking for should be hidden…_

_In her mother's music box. That was where Felicitia hid everything that would fit into it. And it was a rather large music box. The box was on the dressing table that could easily be reached by Felicitia from her bed. Finding a tiny vial of brown liquid as she opened the box, Aven slipped it into the pocket of her dress and told her father she would come see him again later._

"…Which is why I need you to find out what is in this," Aven finished, telling Merlin the abridged version of the story, in which she left out where she told her father she loved Merlin.

Accepting his mission, Merlin left to go to Gaius's chambers, leaving Aven with a chaste kiss on the cheek. As much as Aven wished for more, she had a task to complete.

She remembered how the dream conversation with Alvarr had ended.

_"Either you come to me and surrender, or I will attack your precious Camelot and everyone you care about," _he had said. Aven had only smirked.

_"Don't hold your breath, Alvarr. It might be your last." _

Aven swore she would follow through with her promise to Alvarr and end his life before he put her friends in danger.


	24. Who Knew

_A/N: BIG thanks to Kitty O, my beta reader, who made this originally-horrifically-awkward chapter much less so. This is the longest chapter so far, and I'm sorry I didn't give you more action in it, but I'm total rubbish at fight scenes. I know I've mentioned that before a couple times._

_I do not own Merlin, or "Who Knew" by P!nk._

**24. Who Knew**

In her dreams, Aven saw blood. That's all she saw. Blood.

She shivered beneath her blankets. Not because it was cold (which it was), but because of the fear she was experiencing in her dreams. She could tell that the blood she saw was her own, mixed with someone else's.

She didn't want to think about who the someone else might be.

A picture flashed inside her head. It was the part of the forest she had lived in with Elrich when he was alive. Fear began to course through Aven's body at an alarming pace. It always seemed as though whenever her dreams involved Elrich or something to do with him, bad things followed. Was this another warning?

Suddenly, she woke up, still contemplating whether someone was trying to warn her about something.

_No, _she tried to tell herself. _Elrich is gone; dead. He will not hurt me anymore. He CANNOT hurt me anymore – Merlin has made sure of that. But Alvarr… he is still alive. He CAN hurt me. Does he dare to do so?_

Well, no matter what happened, the princess needed sleep. She tried to forget about the danger in her life and instead let her mind drift off to Merlin. With that, she fell asleep once more in just a matter of minutes.

In the morning, Aven awoke from yet another dream.

Alvarr had threatened Aven once again in the dream. Aven had done the exact opposite of backing down. And now she had to face the consequences.

Aven used a glamour to color her brown hair black as night, but took away the glamour she was using to cover up the scar Elrich had given her. She hoped that this would make her less recognizable to those inside the castle. She was leaving, leaving to face Alvarr on her own, and she had to slip by unnoticed by everyone, particularly Rena, Merlin, and Xander. She felt like Avianna again.

_And I won't need to be saved this time, _she promised herself. _I won't. I _won't_. I can fight for myself. My magic is strong enough. I can protect myself. I _will_ make it back alive._

Aven made her way out of the castle, hiding with the shadows while she did so. As she passed Rena and Merlin's rooms, she slipped short letters underneath each of their doors. Just in case her confidence was misplaced and she did not make it back.

She asked Sir Cameron to give Xander a note from his sister, Princess Aven, and mentioned that the princess had requested it be for Xander's eyes only. With that, Aven completed the first part of her mission. The second part – to kill Alvarr – was easier said than done.

Slipping into the stables, Aven went to the horse that Xander had told her was one of the most loyal horses; one that would also leave the stables without much fuss, he claimed, making it a great getaway horse. The mare's name was Whisper, and she was a grayish color with some small white spots.

Aven knew how to saddle up the horse all on her own, so she was gone in a matter of minutes. She spared one last look at Camelot. She thought of everything she had left unsaid, and wondered if she had missed her chance. Well, hopefully the notes would fulfill anything that Aven regretted not saying… because there were many things that Aven hadn't admitted to anyone that she felt she should have.

_Stop thinking like that, _she mentally chided herself. _You _will _make it back, and destiny _will_ go as planned. It _must_._ With that, Aven urged Whisper forward almost as much as she urged herself to keep going. The two took off into the forest, and Aven knew it wouldn't take long to find her target.

Though Alvarr had not given Aven a specific place to meet him, she knew exactly where he would be. He had been focusing on making his magic even stronger, and she was following the trail like a bloodhound would follow a scent.

"_Gall y duwiau amddiffyn fy ffrind, fy mrawd, a fy nghariad_," Aven murmured as she rode through the forest on Whisper. The prayer meant "God, protect my friend, my brother, and my love". She hoped it worked. She knew that if she was killed, Rena, Xander, and Merlin would be the next to die… not necessarily in that order. Almost as soon as she had recited the spell, she came face-to-face with the one she was trying to protect everyone from.

"Here you are, the brave little witch to save the day," Alvarr said as he leaned lazily against a tree. Aven narrowed her eyes at the man who was now about sixty paces away from her. She dismounted from Whisper and faced Alvarr, trying to stand strong even though the murderous look in his eyes made her stomach churn.

"I do hope you told your friends why you decided to come to me to be murdered," Alvarr said in a cocky tone. Aven could see it was a cover; a veil over his true emotions. He had seen the damage Aven could do without much effort, but he was still more experienced.

_No matter what happens to me today, please let Rena, Merlin, and Xander be safe, _Aven thought. _Please let them be._

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

Back in Camelot, Merlin and Rena had just discovered the notes in their rooms. Rena was the first to find hers.

_Rena,_

_I've told you time and time again how you are my best friend. But you are more than that to me, as well. You are like my sister. For a while, I have been teaching you all I know about magic with the hopes that you will become a great sorceress who uses her powers to defend that which is good and just in the world. These days, it sure seems like we could use more of that. There is more good than bad in the world, Rena, and you are a shining example of that. I cannot imagine you having anything less than an incredible, magical life. Even if I cannot be a part of it._

_I have gone to fight Alvarr, and though I hope I will live to see another day, I wanted to make sure you understood my feelings just in case I lose this battle. If I do lose it… well, take care of Arthur for me, will you? Really, he needs you more than ever, Rena. If he turns into too much of a prat, I'm sure you'll be able to straighten him out. Make sure he stops being such an idiot about Gwen. Really, it is almost physically painful to watch them._

_Xander loves you._

_You will be alright, with or without me. I promise._

_-Aven_

Rena gasped as she read the note, and she took off running towards Merlin's room, where he had just stumbled upon his own letter.

_Merlin,_

_I am sure I am going to sound like the biggest idiot writing this. But I feel like even more of an idiot because I did not tell you of my feelings before I left. Over the years, I have managed to convince myself that love is not – and cannot be – real. In a matter of weeks, you have changed my mind and even managed to make me fall in love with you._

_Crazy, isn't it? One moment I am trying to kill you… and the next I find myself wanting you more than anything in the world. There are a lot of things I wish could be said, but today I am going to fight Alvarr to the death. Hopefully I will come out alive, but if I do not… we have discussed what you must do, I know we have. I have enjoyed every minute of being with you, and if I do not come back, then… I love you._

_Emrys._

_-Aven_

Just as he finished the note, Rena came bursting into his room.

"Merlin? You got a letter from Aven, too?" Merlin could only nod, shocked at what Aven had done. Didn't she know better? No, of course she didn't.

"What are we going to do?" Rena asked, her blue eyes wide with fear.

"_I _am going after her," Merlin said, trying not to let his voice shake. "You have to stay here, Rena."

"I will do no such thing, Merlin! If anything, I-"

"Rena, you're the princess. And if you stay here, you can keep protection spells going," Merlin said, somewhat desperately. He knew that if Rena came, she was going to be killed immediately. The protection spell on her had been the weakest, since Xander had not had it in him to cut her as deeply as he had Merlin and Aven. Rena took in a deep breath through her nose.

"…Fine. Bring her back safe, Merlin."

"I promise," Merlin said, hastily exiting the room. He prayed that this would be a promise he could actually keep.

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

After her time in the forest alone, Aven had tried to convince herself she wasn't afraid of anything. But standing in front of Alvarr, with both magical beings poised to strike, a whole swirl of emotions began moving through her body; the main one being, of course, fear.

Aven didn't want to waste any more time. She was the first to attack. Alvarr blocked her surge of magical energy with a force field around his body. _When did he learn how to do that? _Aven thought as she desperately tried to block Alvarr's advances.

Almost an hour later, Aven and Alvarr's battle was at a stalemate. All the years of experience Alvarr had under his belt was equally matched with Aven's natural abilities. Both were fighting with everything they had, but neither was faltering.

Suddenly, Aven felt a surge of magical power ripple through the forest. _Oh my God, _she thought, panicked. _Alvarr has back-up. Idiot, why didn't you consider that? _But she had an advantage over Alvarr. She could sense the magical power in the forest while he could not. The source of the energy seemed to be getting very close very fast. _The person is on a horse, _Aven deduced. While she focused on the battle, she tried to keep watch over who was coming.

They were only a few minutes away…

They were almost there…

Taking a huge chance, Aven said one last spell and whipped around to see who it was. Had she not been in a fight for her life, she would have stopped and stared at who was there.

Merlin.

For the love of God, what was he doing? _Rescuing you, because you were so thick you left on your own, _said the voice inside Aven's head. Aven glared at Merlin, trying to tell him to leave, but obviously he wasn't getting the message. She turned back around and continued fighting Alvarr, with Merlin now at her side.

"What are you doing?" she asked desperately, wishing Merlin had just stayed back in Camelot as planned. "Did you _not _see the letter? I was trying to protect you!"

"I know, Aven, and I love you, which is why I can't stand by and watch you get-"

"LOOK OUT!" Aven screamed as Alvarr sent a lightning bolt shooting out of his fingertips straight at Merlin. The attack caught both Aven and Merlin completely by surprise. Aven pushed Merlin out of the way and instead the bolt hit her middle, throwing her to the ground. She saw black dots in front of her eyes, feeling ready to fall unconscious from the pain that was coursing through her veins.

"No…" she croaked. She couldn't lose consciousness, not _now_! "Merlin…"

Merlin cast a horrified glance in Aven's direction. She was laying on her stomach almost twenty paces away from him. She dug her fingernails into the dirt, wishing she could actually _feel _her legs.

"I love you, Merlin," she whispered. Then her entire vision faded into blackness.

Merlin turned on Alvarr. He could see Aven's back rising and falling, which meant she was still breathing, but the movements were slow. Her eyes were closed, and Merlin had no idea how much longer she may have. Alvarr hoped he had killed Aven, and although the spell was not a direct murder weapon, it may have given her bad enough injuries to kill her. If she was lucky, her death would be quick. If not, well… maybe the suffering wouldn't be _too _bad.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Merlin yelled. Alvarr smirked.

That sent Merlin over the edge. He couldn't bear to look at Aven, so he had no idea if she was even breathing anymore. And all her possible-killer could do was look him straight in the eye with the smuggest smile Merlin had ever seen.

Glaring at Alvarr, Merlin felt an intense power surge through him. He loved Aven, and the anger he felt towards Alvarr was quickly filling him up. It needed an outlet…

Merlin held out both his hands, and a flash of light flew out from them. Unlike Alvarr's lightning bolt, which had been a silvery color, the light that came from Merlin was white… pure white. The darkness that had grown inside Alvarr was quickly taken over by the light, and it seemed to be breaking him apart from the outside in. Merlin had to shield his eyes as the light got more and more intense as Alvarr screamed and broke into more pieces. The sorcerer's bones were cracking with a horrible noise, but the sounds of terror coming from his mouth were even worse. Eventually, the light began to fade, and Alvarr was no more. His body, his essence… he was gone. And Merlin had no idea what he had even done to make such a powerful light… for there had been no spells… nothing.

All there had been was Aven.

_Aven_.

Merlin rushed to her side. Aven groaned slightly as Merlin helped her shift onto her back. Tasting dirt had gotten old, and Aven opened her eyes slowly and painfully.

"W-what did you do?" Aven asked, her voice barely audible.

"I… don't really know," Merlin said, shaking his head. He had one hand on either side of Aven, with the rest of his body on her left side. "I think… I think it might have been you."

"…He's dead?"

"He's dead, Aven, he won't ever hurt you again, I promise," Merlin said. Aven smiled softly, but a jolt of pain shot through her and she clutched at her left leg.

"Something's… oh, God, _something_ is broken!" Aven said, a little moan of pain ending the sentence.

"We need to get you back to Camelot, quickly," Merlin said, an urgent tone to his voice. "Come on, I'll carry you. There is no way you can walk on that leg."

"Should someone see us, what are we going to say?" Aven asked.

"That you were out riding, and you fell... can you take the glamours off of yourself?" Merlin asked. Aven nodded, and Merlin watched as her hair went from straight and black to wavy and brown. The long scar on her body began to disappear.

Merlin slipped one arm underneath Aven's neck, and the other underneath her knees. Gently, he picked her up bridal-style, thanking the Gods that she was small.

"Are you okay?" he asked, hoping her leg wasn't hurting too much. Aven bit her lip and nodded, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Yes… I think so."

"It's alright, Aven, I've got you." Hearing this, Aven opened her eyes, smiled as best she could under the circumstances, and kissed Merlin's jaw tenderly.

"More than ever, actually."


	25. Your Guardian Angel

_A/N: This is the second-to-last full chapter; then there's an epilogue. SEQUEL ANYONE? Thanks to Kitty O, an awesome writer and my beta reader, who helped make the story a lot less... awkward._

_I do not own Merlin, or "Your Guardian Angel" by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus._

****

25. Your Guardian Angel

The minute Rena heard that Merlin got Aven back to Camelot safely, she had rushed to find them as quickly as she could. Eventually, she found them in the room in which Gaius treated his patients. Merlin was kneeling next to the bed Aven lay on, holding her hand and feeling like he was going to cry every time Aven let out a whimper of pain as Gaius began to mend her leg.

Rena stood with Gaius, handing him whatever he needed as he did his best to fix up Aven.

"This is a rather nasty injury you suffered, Aven," Gaius remarked. "And what of this burn mark right over top of it?"

"I, erm… dropped a candle… on myself… and I just happened to hurt my leg in the same place when I fell off my horse," Aven said, grinding her teeth as Gaius wrapped a bandage around the break.

"If I remember correctly, Aven, you were always a rather skilled rider. How did you fall off your horse, exactly?" Gaius asked, the suspicion in his voice evident.

"Something spooked the mare, I guess. I am not used to riding her," Aven said. Merlin and Rena had to give her credit – even when she felt like hell, she was a good liar.

"But weren't you riding Whisper? Hardly anything spooks her." Aven glared at Merlin, as if to say "You make up something".

"We're, um, not sure what it was…" Merlin stammered, and Aven rolled her eyes. She should have continued to handle the lying.

"I was just lucky Merlin found me," Aven interjected; glad to be telling the truth for once.

"Yes, you are," Rena said harshly. Her blue eyes burned with worry and anger. "You should not have gone riding alone."

"I did not expect to fall off the horse," Aven said, flickering her eyes in Gaius's direction so that Rena understood that the physician could not know of what really happened.

"Of _course _you didn't," Rena said, scoffing. Aven sighed and tried not to think about the pain her leg. She supposed Rena had the right to be upset; if it wasn't for Merlin, Alvarr would have killed her. By the end of the battle, her energy had been all but drained, and Alvarr was still going strong. She would have died.

An injured leg was better than death. Besides, it was only a sprain now, because on the way back to Camelot, both Aven and Merlin had been working to heal Aven's leg with magic. By the time they were with Gaius, the break had been healed, but she was still in a lot of pain and there may or may not have been a dislocation.

"Alright, Aven, I've done everything I can right now," Gaius said as he finished wrapping the bandages around the lower part of Aven's leg.

"Thank you, Gaius, for everything," Aven said. Gaius had a sneaking suspicion that there was something going on between the three young adults, but gave them a moment alone with each other as he left the room quietly.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you?" Rena hissed, wasting no time in pouncing on Aven. "You scared me half to death!"

"You stopped it."

"What?" Rena asked, confused by Aven's words. Aven smirked.

"When Alvarr tried to shoot that lightning bolt at Merlin and I pushed him out of the way… that _should _have killed me. The way it threw me to the ground… you did something, Rena."

"Well, of course I did. I stayed here, sending out protection spell after protection spell for you two," Rena said. For a minute, Aven looked as though she was deep in thought over something, and smiled a little as she looked back at Rena. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and recited Ysmina's prophecy.

"_The one with a secret will be joined with another._

_Alone she stands no chance,_

_With him, she is whole._

_She is strong, though it takes but one wrong move to bring her down._

_Help from the sidelines will guide her._

_On her own, she will suffer._

_With him, she is whole._"

Aven opened her eyes and smiled. "It makes sense now." For a minute, the room was silent, as everyone began to understand the prophecy. It had come true.

"This does not mean you're off the hook, Aven," Rena said quietly, though she couldn't help but grin at their realization.

"I know," Aven said solemnly.

As Rena looked from Merlin to Aven, she made her way to the door, silently promising herself she would _not _eavesdrop.

"I'll give you two a minute alone," Rena said, shutting the door behind her. A silence, one that was comfortable rather than awkward, descended on the room. The bed was only big enough for one person to lie in, so Merlin just stayed at Aven's side.

"Do you believe me now?" Merlin whispered.

"What?" Aven asked, not sure what he meant.

"I told you I love you, and I meant it. Do you believe that?" A breathy, surprised laugh escaped Aven's lips. She wasn't sure what to say.

"You read the letter I wrote, right? Well…" Aven pursed her lips together, hoping the words didn't get caught in her throat. She stayed quiet.

"Aven?" Merlin hoped she didn't decide to back out now.

"…I love you." Nothing more needed to be said… not out loud, anyway. Merlin looked into Aven's eyes for a moment before slowly leaning in to kiss her. Meeting him halfway, Aven relished the taste of his lips. But Merlin's mind was still trying to get a handle on everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, and as for Aven, well… there were other thoughts clouding her mind.

"This would be perfect," Aven murmured against Merlin's lips. "If only there was not that arranged marriage. Which, I might remind you, is in ten days." Merlin immediately pulled away. He sighed.

"Was there a part of you just itching to bring that up, Aven?" he asked, exasperated.

"No. But I thought you needed to be reminded. No matter how right this feels… it is wrong," Aven said.

"It is only wrong if we say it is," Merlin muttered. Aven almost smiled.

"If it were only that simple," she sighed. "If only."

"Have we run out of ideas?" Merlin asked. Aven nodded.

"We may be able to end Rena's marriage, but as for mine…" Aven trailed off, and closed her eyes, as though the action alone would end her pain. Suddenly she opened them and looked at Merlin.

"Merlin, that vial I gave you before… where is it?" she asked. Merlin got up from his crouched position by the bed Aven lay on and found the vial inside one of Gaius's cupboards.

"Here." Merlin returned to Aven's side and handed her the vial, which had a small piece of parchment stuck to the bottom of it. Aven let her eyes scan the parchment quickly, before tightening her grip on the vial, closing her eyes, and breathing out slowly through her mouth to calm herself down.

"I knew it," she whispered.

"What?"

"When I was fifteen, my father began to lose his mind. Apparently, that was when my mother began slipping this-" Aven shook the vial slightly, "-into my father's food. According to this, the vial contains a medicine used to ease headaches and things like that. But when used on a healthy person, and with the amount that my father was receiving… it is what caused his mind to be in a fog." Aven frowned. "All these years… had I stayed in Kierian, I might have been able to stop this. All of it."

"And if you hadn't discovered it, you would be dead," Merlin reminded her.

"Well, the past is the past, but I think we may have found a way of preserving our future," Aven said, smiling a little. "I am trying to heal myself as quickly as possible without anyone suspecting magic. Once I can actually walk, I will present this to the court, and…" Aven shrugged. "One can only guess where we'll go from there."

* * *

Felicitia grinned slyly as she wrapped her fur shawl around her shoulders. Soon, Aven would be married to Arthur, and the two would become King and Queen of Kierian.

Unless, of course, they happened to die in a _tragic _accident that Felicitia would be nowhere near when it happened.

Maybe once Aven was dead, Felicitia would stop giving her husband the medicine that made him seem mentally incapable, and his recovery would be pronounced a miracle. It was just too bad that Aven would never get to see it.

And she had always adored her father so much.

The queen reached inside the box and felt around as she looked for the vial with Jonathan's "medicine". She felt a surge of panic go through her body. She did not feel the cool glass of the vial anywhere. Suddenly, she slammed the box shut. There was only one explanation for this.

Her scheming, conniving daughter had discovered her secret.

Now she _must _die.

* * *

"I must say, Aven, your leg has been healing remarkably fast over the past four days. It seems as though you will be perfectly fine for your wedding," Gaius said as he removed the bandage around Aven's leg. There was a nasty bruise, but no scar.

"Yeah, in five days. I feel all right _now_, actually-"

"No, Aven, I think you need one more day of resting your leg before you're ready for any serious physical activity," Gaius said. Aven sighed; she absolutely _loathed _sitting around doing nothing. Merlin, Rena, Xander, and even Arthur had been around to see her, but she spent most of her time alone. Also, most of the times Rena was there, Aven was getting chewed out for going to fight Alvarr alone. Aven sometimes mentioned that if Rena had come, she couldn't have sent out protection spells, and then they would all be dead, but once Rena got going on an argument there was no stopping her.

Now, Gaius had to find Merlin. To everyone who didn't know what had really happened, Aven's recovery had seemed like a miracle, just in time for her wedding. The day before, Felicitia had mentioned that the God must be looking over Aven and Arthur and even suggested pushing the wedding date up, but no one had really seemed to want to. The castle was in a rush as it was.

Gaius, however, knew magic when he saw it. He knew there was the possibility that Princess Aven had magic, but that wasn't exactly a question he could just outright ask her. And odds were it was Merlin, anyway. That he was cared about Aven a great deal was no secret, at least not to those close to him. Gaius just hoped his young charge understood the obstacles that lay between him and the princess.

Gaius found Merlin in Arthur's chambers, still trying to polish Arthur's armor.

"Merlin!"

"Yes, Gaius?" Merlin recognized the stern look on Gaius's face. And he knew it could only mean trouble for him.

"I have a few concerns about the Lady Aven that I thought you might be able to help me with," Gaius said. He was planning on asking him point-blank, but he'd have to see where the conversation went.

"What?" Merlin heard the suspicion in Gaius's voice.

"Well, for a nineteen-year-old woman she's certainly healed quicker than expected," Gaius began. Merlin shrugged.

"I guess she's just lucky. Is that all?" Gaius sighed.

"No, Merlin, that is not all. Listen, Merlin, I've noticed you've been paying a lot of attention to and spending a lot of time with Aven lately," Gaius said, deciding he'd have to ask Merlin straight out how he felt about Aven.

"I guess… I don't know, I mean, I like her well enough…"

"That's not what _I _mean. Merlin, did you use magic to heal her?" Gaius asked outright. Merlin froze like a deer in the forest that had just heard the sound of a hunter's footsteps. He couldn't lie (he was terrible at lying), but if he told Gaius what he had done… well, really, it was mostly Aven… either way, the outcome didn't look good.

"I… I had to, Gaius," Merlin whispered, sounding defeated.

"Why?" was Gaius's only question. Merlin didn't have an answer to that. At least, not one he could tell his mentor.

"She… knows about my magic, Gaius. She asked me to." The second half of that was a complete lie, but for the moment it was slipping past Gaius. He was just concerned with Aven knowing about Merlin's magic.

"She knows? Merlin, you _have_ to make sure that she doesn't tell _anyone_-"

"She won't, Gaius, trust me. She wouldn't do that," Merlin said. At least _that_ wasn't a lie.

"You're sure?"

"I'm absolutely positive. She would never tell anyone," Merlin said.

"I hope you're not lying to me about any of this, Merlin," Gaius said, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not. I promise." The pain in the pit of Merlin's stomach told him lying like this to Gaius was really, really wrong, but he knew the pain in his heart would be even worse if he told the truth.

Because, after all, Aven _was_ a princess, and Merlin knew full well it was completely against the law for them to be together.

But that didn't mean he was going to stop trying. Even if Rena was the only one who knew about him and Aven right now, he vowed that someday he would tell Arthur and Xander, and maybe they wouldn't be furious with him... even though it was obvious that Xander was very protective of Aven.

But surely Xander would understand, since he had such strong feelings for Rena?

Yes, of course he would. He _must_.


	26. 24 Hours

_A/N: Another long chapter. I really wished this would be chapter 24 because of the song title, but it didn't work that way.__ There's a part in here that seems pointless and irrelevant, but it comes in to play... later... that is, if you all want a sequel? I could do that... anyway, this is the last full chapter, so I'll be getting out all the emotional end-of-story junk when I post the epilogue. Which also seems pointless and irrelevant, but... if there was a sequel, it wouldn't. This chapter is sort of angsty, by the way._

_...Okay, yeah, there's probably going to be a sequel. Until then, I'm working on an Arthur/Gwen** two-shot**, and an Arthur **one-shot **(which may possibly be extended) in which I help him stop being such a prat. It'll be set at the end of series 2. There's also another Merlin story in the works which I've gotten multiple requests to write, so we'll see how that goes. No spoilers yet! (Well, to be spoilers I guess I'd have to actually think of the story...)_

_Oh look, I rambled again. I didn't mean to make the author's note this long. Anyway, I don't own Merlin, or 24 Hours by Shack. Really. I don't._

_And, as always, thanks to Kitty O, my beta!_

* * *

**26. 24 Hours**

"Aven?" Rena called to her friend from the doorway of Aven's chambers. "It's time. We're going to present your case to the court." Aven took a deep breath and held the vial of medicine Felicitia had been giving Jonathan tightly. She said a silent prayer to whoever was watching over her, and followed Rena down the hall.

"Are you nervous?" Rena asked.

"Um… just a little bit," Aven said. In all honesty, she _was_ pretty nervous, but refused to say so. If she thought herself weak, or let Rena see how she felt, then she'd appear weak in front of everyone else. _It's like self-esteem, _Aven thought.

"You are limping a little bit. Do you feel all right?" Rena asked, a motherly tone to her voice. Aven smiled softly.

"I am fine, Rena, trust me. It's the after-effects."

"I still think you were pretty stupid to go off on your own like that."

"I'm alive, aren't I?" _Can't argue with that logic, _Rena thought sarcastically.

Aven and Rena walked into the throne room, neutral expressions on their faces. Xander, Arthur, and River joined them at the door. Gaius stood near the king, ready to give his take on what had happened with the medicine that Aven had discovered. Aven took a calming breath. Everything was going according to plan.

Then again, it had only been ten seconds since their "plan" had actually begun.

"Cross your fingers," Aven whispered to the four other young royals before stepping up to where Uther, Jonathan, and Felicitia sat on their thrones. She folded her hands in front of her and dipped her head.

"Aven Vyman." Uther's voice echoed throughout the throne room. "Today, you present the court with the case of your claims that your mother, Felicitia Vyman, has been secretly giving your father, Jonathan Vyman, unnecessary medication so that she will have control over Kierian-" That was right about where Aven stopped paying attention. _Really, Uther, you couldn't have summed this up in about half the time? _Aven thought._ No? Alright, then._

"…Do you deny this claim?" Uther asked, bringing Aven back to reality.

"No, my lord," Aven said in a firm voice, her head still bowed. She looked up quickly and saw her father giving her an encouraging look. The look in his eyes was sharper than Aven had seen it in years. This gave her the push she needed to continue as Uther motioned her to keep talking.

"A few days ago," Aven began, raising her head, "I was with my father, and after I attempted to eat a piece of food off of his plate, I noticed it tasted very odd. I asked him who brought it to him, and he said my mother. Well, my mother was never very good at hiding things," Aven said, sending her mother a discreet smirk. Felicitia's look was one of disgust and anger.

"I found the vial of medicine in my mother's music box, where she has a habit of hiding small things," Aven continued. "I asked Arthur's manservant, Merlin, to take it to the court physician, where my suspicions were confirmed. When incorrectly administered, the tonic in the vial could put one's mind in a deep fog, giving anyone the impression that they had a mental affliction, such as one that would look natural with age."

"I see," Uther said, his chin resting in his hand as he thought over what Aven had said. After Gaius's confirmation of Aven's claims, Felicitia was asked for her take on the situation, during which she denied everything multiple times. Jonathan could not be asked, as he was still recovering from years of taking the medicine.

After all the information had been gathered and taken note of, Uther had announced that the court was to discuss the outcome of the case while Aven, Arthur, Rena, Xander, and River stood outside, where Gwen and Merlin were already waiting for them. They knew that the decision-making process would be a long and tedious one. But they were prepared to wait.

After about two hours, though, Aven got tired of waiting. Rena figured she'd be the most anxious of all of them. This was, after all, the decision that could map out the rest of her life.

"Xander," Aven said suddenly, turning towards her brother. "Will you do me a favor?"

"That depends on a lot of things." Aven looked up to where there was a small glass window in the door that was so high none of them could reach it on their own.

"…Do you remember when we were younger and we tried to spy on those people who-"

"Aven! We cannot spy on Camelot's court! Besides, I can't have you standing on my back. I am not ten years old anymore, and neither are you."

But four minutes later, Xander Vyman was on the floor on his hands and knees with his little sister standing on his back, where she could see what was happening through the small glass panel in the door.

"Well?" Rena asked. "I am scared half to death."

"I thought you were scared half to death when I got hurt. What happens if you get scared half to death twice within a short period of time?" Aven asked. Rena gave her friend a stern look, so Aven just pressed her ear against the door. "Arthur, I think your father believes me, and so does most of the court, but my mother is putting up quite a fight."

"What of your father?" Arthur asked.

"Well, he is on my side, but since his mind is still a bit clouded so no one is really listening to him," Aven said, a hint of sadness in her voice. Rena began wringing her hands nervously.

"I wish we could do something besides wait," she murmured. Xander tried to smile comfortingly at her, but as he did so the strength in his arms gave away and he fell forward, bringing his sister down with him. Arthur had to grab Aven around the waist to keep her from crashing to the floor flat on her back.

With a muttered thanks to Arthur, Aven raised an eyebrow at Xander.

"Well, you were right about one thing. We certainly are _not_ ten years old anymore." Merlin smiled at Aven, and without warning, his mind began to get slightly off track. He thought about how scared he was that the court would decide that Felicitia was innocent, and then the consequences for all who had accused her would be horrible, Merlin knew. Also, if Felicitia was found innocent, then it was certain that Aven would marry Arthur.

And he, Merlin, would never get to be with her.

Not that he had much of a chance with that anyway… after all, she was still a princess, and he was still a servant. _Princesses don't marry servants. They never have – and maybe they never will. _Merlin thought. _But what if we changed that...?_

Suddenly the doors opened, and Merlin and Gwen had to hide in the shadows so that all Uther, Felicitia, and Jonathan could see were the nobles.

Uther was the first to speak.

"It has been decided."

* * *

Aven shut her eyes as she submerged herself in her bath water. Letting the warmth of the liquid go over her head and onto her face was a comforting feeling.

Her mother had been found guilty by the court. Her father had almost completely recovered. _Almost._ The biggest side effect from all those years of the medicine was that he could not remember anything from the time Aven was fifteen until now. And Gaius had said that Jonathan would probably have a bit of short-term memory loss, but it wouldn't be as bad as it had been before.

Oh, and of course there was the _big _news. Her marriage to Arthur had been called off. So had Rena's marriage to River. Under the circumstances, it was decided that it was in Aven's best interest to not try and complicate her life any further, so there would be no wedding.

She still remembered the exact emotion she had felt when she was given the news. She wished there was a word for it, but there wasn't. She did care about Arthur, but she knew it wouldn't be good for either of them if they were together. They were both stubborn and hard-headed – Aven would be the first to admit that – and they needed someone who would keep them grounded. Or in Aven's case, keep her from killing people.

Aven leaned back and accidentally hit her head on the side of the bathtub. She gave a groan of pain and rose back above the surface, taking a deep breath of the cool air. It was autumn now, and she had a lot to think about.

First of all: Now that her father was better and there was no way her mother was ever getting any sort of power ever again, the people of Kierian needed their princess. So she had to leave Camelot. For how long, she did not know. But she knew she would return.

She would be there when Arthur married Gwen, for that was surely going to happen.

She would be there when and if Xander ever got the courage to marry Rena. For Xander, throwing his life to Fate and running into battle was no big deal, but he'd always been a coward when it came to women.

Aven chuckled silently to herself as she thought of how much she would have to help her brother with Rena. _All in due time, _she thought.

Oh, and of course… she would be there for Merlin.

Aven sighed as she thought about what would happen when she left Merlin. Her father, who now had his mind back, would not have left Camelot peacefully unless Aven's marriage to Arthur was revoked. And once the issues with Rena and River's marriage was brought up, the whole thing was just ended.

Just like that.

_It all seems so simple now, _Aven thought. _But this all was a long time in the making._

Wrapping a fuzzy white cotton towel around herself, Aven stepped out of the now lukewarm bathwater. As the cold air hit whatever skin the towel was not covering, it reminded Aven of how she felt. This all had hit her with a rush just as the air had… her battle with Alvarr, the accusations she made against her mother, and the ending of the arranged marriages.

Aven stopped in front of her full-body mirror. She bit her lip and clutched the towel to her body. Ever since her battle with Alvarr, she had not dared to look at herself undressed. Her leg had not been permanently marked, but what about the rest of her? Especially her midsection; that area had taken a lot of the blows. Aven's fingers curled around the top of the towel. She knew it was a bad idea, but it had to happen at some point or another…

She let the towel fall.

Aven Vyman had been using glamours on herself since she was sixteen. When she had been masquerading as Avianna, she made her brown hair black, and when she returned as Princess Aven, she had covered the scar Elrich gave her when she had ended his life, plus her partial Druid tattoo. Now, looking at herself in the mirror, she felt that there would be no glamour in the world that could change what she saw.

There was a grand total of seven scars along her body. Only one was from the fight with Elrich. She had six long, white scars going down and across her stomach and breasts. She touched one on her stomach gingerly, knowing she was lucky that the multiple blows to the middle part of her body hadn't been fatal.

The battle with Alvarr had taken its toll on Aven, both mentally and physically. She would never, ever be able to undress in daylight. Or where anyone could possibly see her. Running an anxious hand through her hair, Aven took one more look at her body and knew in her heart that there was probably only one man in the world who would see her scars and not think any differently of her.

_Merlin_.

Aven owed him her life a thousand times over. He had saved her from Elrich, Alvarr… and from herself. She closed her eyes for a moment to think about how much she loved Merlin. Well, after everything he had done for her, she believed he deserved more than just being trusted with her life, but now he deserved her heart and her love, which she now believed and had faith in.

Aven not only thought about Merlin, but about her brother, Xander... her best friend and Xander's love, Rena... the man Aven cared for but could never love, Arthur... and Arthur's love, Gwen. For a moment, thoughts of Elrich and Alvarr appeared in her mind, but they were gone almost as soon as they had come. And then, all of a sudden, a woman by the name of Maeva flashed into Aven's mind.

Maeva had lived in the Druid camp with Elrich and Alvarr when Aven had first shown up. After Aven had come, Elrich heard of the prophecy and convinced himself that he was the "him" that would make Aven "whole". The thing was, Elrich and Maeva had been together for almost a year at the time.

Aven remembered the day she had seen Maeva run past her and through the Druid camp, crying her blue-green eyes out. She had been seventeen at the time. When Aven stopped her to see what was wrong, Maeva had turned around and slapped her across the face. Maeva's blonde hair was a mess, and her normally pretty face was red and blotchy.

As it turned out, nineteen-year-old Maeva had been carrying Elrich's child, but Elrich hadn't known. Aven had figured it out, though. And after Elrich had ended his relationship to pursue Aven, Maeva seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth. At the time, Aven was confused as to why Maeva had smacked her, but now she knew. Elrich must have let on as to why he had left Maeva. It was so he could try and use Aven for her abilities.

Aven didn't know what had happened to Maeva, but she wondered what Elrich's child was like. She wondered if Maeva and her child we alive and safe. She vowed to do her best to find out one day. Pretty soon, Aven's mind became filled with thoughts of… everything. Reality seemed far to complicated to be true.

And suddenly she looked again at her body, which still had no covering. Grabbing the towel off the floor quickly, she wrapped it around herself to keep her eyes off of the ugly scars. There were few men in the world that wouldn't be disturbed or even disgusted by the sight of her unclothed upper half. Merlin was one of them. Aven knew how lucky she was to have the people that she did in her life, and Merlin was high up on the list of people she was most thankful for.

Then the tears came. The first one came out of the right eye, which meant happiness, almost at the same time as the second tear came out of the left eye. But the tear from the right eye was just a tiny bit ahead. Eventually, the weight of her thoughts became too much for Aven, and she hit the ground.

And that was how Rena found her, sobbing on the floor of her bedroom, with only a towel to shield her scarred body from the rest of the world.


	27. Epilogue: When It Rains

_A/N: I can't believe I made it to the end of this 60,000-plus word-count story... a lot of work went into it, not only from me, but also from Kitty O, who I dedicate this final chapter to. She's been reviewing non-stop since chapter one. THAT is dedication right there. And she's been beta-reading the story since chapter... 20? I think it was 20. (I promise I'll fix chapter 18 one of these days!)_

_Anyway, anybody who has read this and reviewed, each word means a lot to me. So thank you. I'm working on the sequel, and it will probably debut late-December or early-January. It's called "Misguided Ghosts" (It's another Paramore song) so be on the lookout for it! I'm also working on another Merlin story (I mentioned it last time) called "For Those Who Wait". (Fireflight song.) It'll be a little less angsty and dark than ERHIT and Miguided Ghosts, which aren't EXTREMELY angsty... but you get the point._

_This epilogue is a little... strange. It seems unrelated and pointless, but why I wrote it will make sense in Misguided Ghosts. So, for the epilogue, let's see how many reviews I can get so we go out with a bang!_

_It is with great sadness that I announce for the final time in this story that don't own Merlin, or "When It Rains" by Paramore._

**Epilogue: When It Rains**

"Aven, are you _sure _you want to do this today?" Rena asked as the steady fall of rain began to wet her body.

"Rena, today is my second-to-last day in Camelot. Tomorrow, when it is Tuesday, I will be spending all my time with you, Xander, and Merlin, and then on Wednesday I leave with my parents. So, yes, I must do this today," Aven said, completely unfazed by the rain. Nothing could stop her on her mission.

"All right, just don't come back sick. Good luck with… whatever it is you're going to do," Rena said as Aven mounted her horse, Whisper. Aven smiled back at Rena.

"Thank you." With that, the horse began to gallop off, taking Aven to her destination.

* * *

Bringing Whisper to a halt, Aven stood before a deep blue lake which she knew held many secrets of Merlin's past, one of which was the cause for her journey.

The rain had let up a bit, and if Aven didn't know better she'd have said that with each step she took towards the edge of the lake, the fall of water had lessened.

In her left hand, Aven carried four roses; one pink, one red, one yellow, and one white. In her right hand she carried a basket with two goblets and one bottle of red wine. Exhaling through her nose, Aven sat at the edge of the lake and took off her shoes, letting the cool water just barely hit her feet and setting down the roses. Clearing her throat slightly, Aven spoke up.

"Hello," she whispered. "I suppose you know why I am here?..."

The water in the lake was absolutely still.

"Oh. All right, then," Aven murmured, pouring the wine into both goblets. She took one goblet for herself, and then set the other one at the edge of the lake. The water did not move still.

"Well, the reason I am here today is simple. Merlin." Aven took a pause, but nothing happened. "I… well, I shall spare you the details, but through a series of rather unfortunate events, I ended up living on my own in the forest about two years ago. I met Rena Pendragon – you've heard of her, I know – and since we both have magic I decided I would teach her everything I know. Which, I will say, is quite a bit. I lived with the Druids for about a year, you see, but while I was with them some rather… disturbing things happened which prompted me to leave."

The water in the lake began coming closer to Aven, and she was submerged only just up to her ankles. She hoped this was a good sign.

"And then… then I met Merlin. Because of who I am and my abilities, I ended up finding out about some things from his past that really are not my business." Aven took a sip of her wine. "I found out about… about you. Freya, isn't it?" she asked. "Well…" Aven took a deep breath and sighed.

"Look, I really don't know how to go about this. What I guess I'm trying to say is… I know that you left a… hole in Merlin's heart that I cannot replace. I am not going to try. I hold onto a lot of things from my past, and I won't be a hypocrite and try to pretend Merlin does not," Aven said. She sighed, putting her forehead into her palm. This had seemed like a good idea when it had popped into her mind, but now…

"Anyway, I guess the reason I came here is because of you… your destiny. Your life was ended, unjustly, I might add, but it was not the end for you. And I also came was because of your ties to Merlin. I came to… to sort of…" Aven hugged her knees to her chest and contemplated her next set of words. "Um, I came to see… well, more like _ask_… your opinion. Of… me," she said, whispering the last part. Aven held in her breath as she sat by the lake, anxiously drawing circles in the water with her index finger. The reeds around the lake moved in the breeze, but the water was still motionless. The princess's mouth twitched while she waited for an answer.

Finally, Aven smiled as she looked down and saw the wine goblet she had placed at the water's edge was now empty. She stood up and made her way back to Whisper.

And the water rippled.


End file.
